You know you're a club runner when...

After the race, you've got a beer in your hand before they tear off the bottom of your bib.

...you wear a heart rate monitor during the race.

Not good enough to make it on your college team, but are still waiting for that breakthrough race that will get the coach *cough* (vin) looking your way... maybe... hopefully...

You're fresh out of school and one of your new teammates had grandkids.

You belong to a club?

Your masters teammates are already four deep by the time you're done with your race. On a Sunday.

your first thought after hearing the night's workout is how much of it you'll actually do.

When you are drinking a beer the night before a race to get some extra carbs.

When you rate your placing off how many hours a week you work instead of time.

You are more interested in going to the party after the race, than the actual race.

You race in flats/spikes from the 1980's

You beg and grovel to the meet director to let you run unattached.

You look at the high school reults in the newspaper to check and see if you were faster "back in the day".

You are glad you are in the slow heat, and are proud to not have got last place.

At the local all comers track meet at the high school the football players are having practice and they say "nice shorts" when they see you. You then find out if you wear shorts that are not at least knee length others believe you are gay.

It's perfectly acceptable to race shirtless.

you ask your club coach for advice and he says "don't be a pussy."

I got this from my college coach

when you are more serious about practice attendance and team performance than your former d1 all american teammates.

you race in 0 degrees wind chill and can't feel your face/hands/tip of your penis

Your cooldown is a run to the car you came in.

you're not motivated to run the workout until your 45 year old teammate goes flying by you on the last curve

when you need to join a with a bunch of old scrubs to keep you motivated to run