why do some Slow people line up at the front of a race??

kinda funny...at a race this year, some fat guy dressed up in knee-high socks, 70's style sunglasses, a really tight wife-beater that exposed his gut, a headband, and, oh yeah, he was smoking a cigarette as he running.

He led the race for about 200 meters getting some good face time in front of cameras, spectators, etc.

Everyone wants attention...

Here's what I would do- compare gun vs. net times. A 2 hour 1/2 marathoner, say, with a 5 second differential would be given a warning (or the chance to explain- a normally fast guy who got injured mid-race, say). After that, I'd ban the person from my races.

The NYRRC does the sticker thing. To get into the "elite" start you have to be on a team with a reasonable chance of finishing in the top 20% or so of your age group. Strangely, they still have an even more elite start for certain races where they put the people they comp 10 meters ahead of the "elite" start.

Of course this was all for naught at the Father's day race where some weather bimbo from whatever local tv station was standing at the front middle of the starting line with a cameraman. The staff kept telling her to move to which she responded "I deserve to be here, I trained for this" and "You can't tell me what to do." and other such nonsense. The gun goes off and what do they do? Get a photo of her starting at barely a walk before they cut off everybody to their right running straight to the edge of the road to get in a car and drive to the next photo op. I was hoping for the opportunity to trample them both if they got knocked over by the tons of rather fast guys behind them trying to get around them, but sadly, that didn't occur.

I wasn't even there and I would loved to have stepped on her.

Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream.

About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we don't know.

I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.

I'm your average white suburbanite slob.

I like football and porno and books about war.

I got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.

My wife and my job, my kids and my car.

My feet on my table...and a cuban cigar.

But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested

no way

No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,

While people behind me are going insane.

I'm an asshole

I'm an asshole

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat,

I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole

I'm an asshole

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,

While handicapped people make handicapped faces.

I'm an asshole

I'm an asshole

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song

Ranting and raving and carrying on

Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...

NAAAAH!

I'm an asshole

I'm an asshole

Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado Convertible, hot pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers and when I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth on the American Flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why Two words: Nuclear f***in' weapons, OK? Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a big democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead, he's frozen! And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Lee Marvin and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of whisky and drive to Texas...(HEY, HEY HEY!>

Why don't you shut up and sing the song, pal?

I'm an asshole

I'm an asshole

A S-S H-O L-E

Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E

Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf, Arf Arf

Thoomph A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom

Oooooooo

I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it

Is that song about YOUR FATHER????

The funnier part is when guys like a lot of you start to talk smack before a race. I'm relatively young (19) and I probably look like I'm 16. Well I line up at the front of the race and this guy tells me to move back and let the "real" runners in the front. I told him I am a real runner, well he gives me lip and goes on and on about how many good runners are at this race (some small 5K).

Anyway moral of the story is I ran 14:55 and well obviously didn't lose to this guy.

I had the reverse happen to me.

One time I was running in a 5k with a slower friend. I had been injured for 4 months and was just starting to get back into running easy. So I told him I'd be happy to pace him. The race had sign posts for paces. Well, I'm lining up back at the 8 minute/mile sign post with my friend and all the other 8 minuter's and this guy took a look at me and got really pissed off at me. "What are you doing back here," he said. A couple other people heard and one just joked, "yeah, you should be in the front away from us slobs" Now, it's not like I'm so good that I'm some recognizable olympic champion. I guess I just looked more like a "runner" than the rest of them.