I don’t think this is a running club. And it seems like you and your husband can’t quite agree on what it is either.
There are plenty of, let’s say, eccentric clubs in the world. But if one’s relationship to the club breaks the rules of a love relationship, then there’s an issue.
It makes sense for your husband to go to therapy. Separately, you both should look into couple’s counseling and have a conversation about what the ground rules and basic understandings of your marriage are. What are you expecting? What are you not getting? And what happens when the rules get broken? Right now, it seems there’s been some fudging around what’s actually been agreed to. You’ll both be happier with clarity.
Thank you, it’s threads like this that reel me back in right when I’m convinced to never return to this cesspool of a website. This is what letsrun is supposed to be. Not political bs.
I don’t think this is a running club. And it seems like you and your husband can’t quite agree on what it is either.
There are plenty of, let’s say, eccentric clubs in the world. But if one’s relationship to the club breaks the rules of a love relationship, then there’s an issue.
It makes sense for your husband to go to therapy. Separately, you both should look into couple’s counseling and have a conversation about what the ground rules and basic understandings of your marriage are. What are you expecting? What are you not getting? And what happens when the rules get broken? Right now, it seems there’s been some fudging around what’s actually been agreed to. You’ll both be happier with clarity.
OP: "Then he told me that he’s looking into seeing a therapist because he doesn’t know why he keeps doing activities like this."
First, this begs the question, are there other activities like this that are not this?
Second, was he really already looking into seeing a therapist before the conversation?
Third, how exactly would the therapy go?
Therapist: What brings you here?
Second Husband: I'm an addict.
Therapist: Drugs? Alcohol? Gambling?
Second Husband: No...worse.
Therapist: It's okay. I'm a professional. I've heard it all and there's no shame here.
Second Husband: I'm addicted to going on camping trips with my quasi-running group, sharing a tent with my quasi-running club wife while my real wife is at work, and streaking through our assigned county park campsite with flaming toilet paper stuck to my butt. Also we judge each other's junk and whatnot. It's super fun but my real wife got mad at me so I'm here now.
Therapist to secretary: Hold my calls...
In the unlikely event this is a real post, let me save everyone some time and money. Second Husband likes goofing off with some knuckleheads and probably wants to nail at least one of them. He either stops before it goes too far or OP will soon be looking for Third Husband.
I’ve been married to my second husband for almost five years. We belong to a running group that is more about having beers together than actually running for fitness.
Some of the female members have taken a liking to him. One started sending him text messages, up to five times a day. He said he didn’t know how to tell her not to message him, even though she’d asked if they could share a tent on a group trip that I wasn’t going on.
Every fall our group has a campout. Some of the things that take place are just not for me. As soon as it gets dark, everybody takes all of their clothes off, stands around in a circle goofing around and comparing each other, and then goes for a short run naked. I worked the weekend of the campout and didn’t go. When he got back, I asked him if he had participated in the naked run. He had and he also won an activity that they do that involves running around naked with a trail of toilet paper that’s on fire stuck to your butt.
I was extremely hurt and felt like he disrespected our boundaries. Married men don’t have that kind of fun when their wife isn’t around and women who have expressed interest are. He blamed me for working so many hours. Then he told me that he’s looking into seeing a therapist because he doesn’t know why he keeps doing activities like this.
Am I just being difficult for not having any pity for him? How do we resolve this? Is this normal for a running club? I could use some Letsrun wisdom.
Girlfriend or roster only suckhaz! What up dawgz!!!!!
This is not ok- he needs to stop texting this woman and respect your marriage. That is also not normal for a running club, I'm sorry you're going through this!
