European airports all have signage indicating that I am supposed to sprint out the nearest door, but then when I do so they always act like I'm behaving strangely.
Based on layout inconvenience, inefficiency, angry people, and just plain filthy conditions, I’ll nominate CDG in Paris. Connecting flights to The States or South America from there seem to be the absolute worst.
I use CDG a lot and I agree with you. You forgot the homeless dudes hanging around in the terminal asking people for money and bothering women which the gendarmes or airport version of the gendarmes do nothing about. Have you ever tried to park there? Theres some kind of twilight zone between T2 A and E or similar which is like the Schrodingers Cat of floor levels.
BUT...I fly to Edinburgh from CDG and back. That surely is the journey from hell. Edinburgh is the one airport which can mount a serious challenge to CDG on all your markers. You arrive. You walk a mile and enter through a tiny door in a random wall. Upstairs for 3 minutes, onto a featureless corridor, then downstairs, then back up and then another long corridor. Then wait an hour for the luggage handlers to resume work and actually unload the luggage from the plane. Onto passport control, conveniently arranged for the airport staff so that 3 loaded flights from Spain all land at the same time with only 2 border control staff for everyone. You queue for 90 minutes, then if you are lucky, you can join the queue for the bus or the endless taxi queue.
So layout: worse than CDG even though much smaller.
Inefficiency: Staff can't be bothered to work so its set up for their convenience on the rare days they aren't wfh. There are actually managers who specialise in this sort of thing paid a lot of money to produce these kind of systems. Its the same management ethos thats producing the much delayed ferries...
Angry people: If you haven't been shouted sorry barked at by a wannabee member of the Stasi at Edinburgh Airport, have you even been allowed into Scotland? Don't get confused and stand in the wrong queue - you'll get both barrels of the h&s lecture, at full volume, complete with "are you listening to me?" prompts and an exam at the end.
Filthy: chewing gum stamped into the floor along with grime. It makes CDG look clean.
If you survive the interminable journey to Terminal C to transfer to an international flight, you have passed through a virtual time-warp and arrived back in the mid-70s WRT decor, functionality, and 10-lbs-of-sh*t-in-a-5-lb-bag spaciousness.
Los Angeles LAX is terrible. Known as the world's busiest Anchor airport. The 8 terminals are 9 level buildings, 2 underground, 7 above ground, 1 mile long by 1/2 mile wide. LAX is the only airport in the world with 4 two-mile long runways. It's a hell hole.
Totally second this; getting around LAX sucks absolute balls, and the dearth of usable maps is insane. Just try finding the international terminal, it's like they simply want you to guess at it or something. Worst I've been to by far.
CDG isn't the worst as long as you aren't catching a connecting flight someplace; for me, flying in from Minneapolis, finding the baggage carousel isn't too bad and then it's about a 2 minute walk to the Roissy bus terminal and you're out of there. It's not great by any means but I've seen worse.
I had a connection in Boston over the summer. My first flight was delayed over three hours so it was tight. To get to the international terminal at Logan, you need to take a shuttle bus across the tarmac. Late at night, the shuttle runs infrequently (once every 20 or so minutes). While I was waiting for the shuttle, another traveler who was also delayed was trying to board a flight that departed in 18 minutes, which was the exact wait time for the next shuttle. To make conversation, I said "This airport is the worst". He replied "Do you know why that is? It's because of the people who run this city. It's just like New York, San Francisco, and Chicago. Liberals". I can't remember exactly what he said next, but he made some logical leaps to eventually blame Joe Biden. When he realized the doors on his plane had been closed he muttered to himself "A night in Boston. What a treat".
CDG is definitely one of the more annoying ones I Europe. Having to take busses to and from immigration is slow etc.
In the US Kansas City was horrible was about 15 feet wide at some points. Bathrooms were horrible!
Lax is also bad when you are talking about getting to and around the terminals. Getting. Around and between the terminals isn't as bad CDG though.
I've had a nightmere time in ICN but was more security issue for transfers had to go through immigration despite not needing to. fine for me but friend I was traveling with didn't have a US passport so it was a big waste of time.
Nairobi's a bit crazy... You got through 2-3 security scans. None-white/non blacks went through 3 while the rest only went through 2 seemed pretty racist. Then a couple months after I traveled there someone climbed the fence and no one noticed till has body fell out of the plane over Europe on the approach.
The domestic side of Amsterdam sucks but the international side is cool. O'here is pretty terrible walking under the run way is wild that the "newer" airport couldn't plan people moving.
Atlanta is awful too but not as bad as the above.
Another bad one is Denver. I you are there for a transfer/connection it is probably one of the best big airports in the US. If you are starting or ending your trip there it is sooo far from anywhere anyone wants to go in Colorado. You pass 20 miles of fields (was 30 miles 10 years ago) where they could have put the airport but decided not to. The excuse is the weather.. but it's location further our means more hail, more tornadoes then in denver proper and colder weather due to it being at higher elevation then denver proper. It's 2 hours to get to the mountains from the airport. Salt lake city, Albuquerque Boise are all closer to the mountains than DEN (DIA if you are a local)
I had a connection in Boston over the summer. My first flight was delayed over three hours so it was tight. To get to the international terminal at Logan, you need to take a shuttle bus across the tarmac. Late at night, the shuttle runs infrequently (once every 20 or so minutes). While I was waiting for the shuttle, another traveler who was also delayed was trying to board a flight that departed in 18 minutes, which was the exact wait time for the next shuttle. To make conversation, I said "This airport is the worst". He replied "Do you know why that is? It's because of the people who run this city. It's just like New York, San Francisco, and Chicago. Liberals". I can't remember exactly what he said next, but he made some logical leaps to eventually blame Joe Biden. When he realized the doors on his plane had been closed he muttered to himself "A night in Boston. What a treat".
Whomever it was you were talking to is an absolute idiot. Airports are designed by teams of airport engineers, architects, civil engineers, and yes, some city planners. Like the only sh*tty airports are in cities run by progressives? Idiotic is being charitable.
O'Hare hands down for me. I can't remember the last time I flew through on American without a major delay or cancellation.
Dulles is bad for convenience. Hard to get there and slow to get through the airport. Runway taxi times are also poor. So bad that I will drive an extra 20 minutes from DC to BWI if those are the two choices.
LAX you have to add 45 minutes for runway taxi times.