What is dating life like for average looking guys? Are apps failing us?

Unless you're running 14-low for the 5k, join the priesthood...

This, in a nutshell, is your problem. It is you that have a mindset problem, which you have fully clarified in this post. You think that "average" women owe you a date. Work on your personality.

Unironically talking about a “sexual marketplace” and “sexual market value” are definitely blinding red flags of personality shortcomings.

What your sons aren’t telling you is they’re demanding bl*w jobs on the first date based on all the porn their watching.

I am a 31-year-old dude who is pretty average looking. I don't have inherently great social skills.

But I slayed on the apps in my early - mid 20s. I also met my wife on Bumble four years ago.

If you're not awful looking and can hold a half decent conversation, you'll be alight. Control what you can. Groom yourself (haircut, eyebrows, well-fitting clothes), have good posture, and stay in shape.

Nobody wants to date a person who doesn't have their sh1t together, so you should generally have a good life trajectory. This is important for other reasons too. You will probably need some decent pictures to get matches if you're on apps.

To a degree, taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and career wise will build up your confidence. You will be more secure in yourself, and women will pick up on that. Chicks generally dig confident and fun men. Try to not be a dud.

If you don't have a lot of experience with women, just put yourself out there. It's a cliche, but talking with potential partners / women is very much a skill. Practice it and you'll improve. Just treat them kindly and be able to hold a conversation. Don't be boring.

I wish I was as confident as a teenager / younger adult as I was now!

Start by thinking an app owes you something. Lazy.
Lose the beard , also shows how lazy you are.

giving women a score is trophy wife adolescent crap. basically poster on the wall stuff. you're wanting to date a human being who reciprocates. and 10 point scales are people who either don't get dates or are shallow.

just talk to women. make friends. learn about personalities. figure out what you like. ease into it. you may find some girl you thought was poster pretty is boring, or looks-obsessed, or crazy. or she may be cool and fun to be around.

actually putting effort in will probably change and nuance what you're looking for. it's not that you won't care about attractive. you do need that. but a lot of this 10 point scale crap is about what other people think. and those other people don't have to spend hours or years with that person and their full self. you actually talk to women you will complicate what you want.

if you are having trouble meeting people, go to school, get a job with a company with a lot of employees, take up some interests, get some hobbies, join some groups. if you develop who you are as a person, you will meet people who either have that in common or find it interesting. and by getting out you will be more social.

to me you are more likely to meet people school, work, church, social groups, activities. someplace you have something in common and can actually talk and get to know someone. and maybe take your time doing it. going to the club is more of an anonymous meat market that will be sorted on nothing but looks. you can't actually talk. you can barely hear yourself think. and the situation encourages racing to make something happen that night. which doesn't tend to last.

incel crap and contradicted by the OP.

to me incels basically aspire to a negative stereotype of how a malevolent hunk gets to operate. they whine about how their "chad" acts but when they explain how they rate women, what they are concerned with, how they would act in any relationship they seek, they aspire to what they claim to dislike. they are upset they get beat to it.

you do not know how many adult women, family, friends of my friends or my wife, etc., who are looking for a good looking guy who is interested in them and treats them right. but if you show up with this negative energy they will pick up on it and you're why they ask where are the good guys. because while claiming to dislike the jerks you want to be come one when given your shot. in which case circling back to the OP, it's less how 10s behave, it's that he's a 7 that doesn't get to act that way too. but they prefer to displace that outwards in polite chatter.

Your occasional reminder that "personality" is just a euphemism for looks.

Open image

Yes. They work in engineering/tech. Offices are 100% male. No hits on dating sites. Just not meeting anyone. Standards aren't high either. Pretty much the same thing with their college teammates.

Bummer. When I've been in Asia I crushed it, a lot of them love blue eyes. Winning! You're 20, probably don't have much. If you're in scam-ish college you should be crushing regardless. Work on yourself, major in something relevant. Get job. Make good money. The flood gates will open. You need to build some confidence, approach. Use common sense. Worst they can say is no.

engineering/cs schools/workplaces are sausage fests. if you want to meet women you have to mix someplace, and you can't drag the macho bs of male workplaces over with you if you want it to go well.

you're quoting unisex stats. my understanding men are more looks driven than women and tend to stay attracted to younger people. by citing unisex stats you are talking a lot about how men view attractiveness. if i am seeking a woman, so what?

the 80/20 argument at least reflects "women," but that tracked like 30 people which is too few to treat as a decent study.

this is incels saying woe is me and based on this i don't even have to try.

80% of US men are under 6-0...

As somebody with absolutely no interest in dating, or “getting to know somebody,” and only having an interest in sex outside of my ACTUAL interests…dating is great if you have a ton of time and money to burn.

My sons are 6'2"

HA!!

even taking your silly theories on apps at face value, what i think you'd be missing is this. it's not that no one cares about personalities.

it's that people using the apps for hookups would be driven entirely by looks. swipe swipe swipe, ok, he/she's hot, dm them. that would show up in stats.

and then someone using it for actual dating might swipe for looks then read profiles and ponder personality when they stop.

you would then have it wrong saying personality doesn't matter because people err pretty.

you would also be conflating how others use the device with your own use. maybe you need to be the outlier who looks more broadly and considers more than photos. and as i tell people on sports recruiting, puts some effort into asking a lot of people.

the vibe i am getting is you employ dumb strategy then don't understand why it doesn't work and then blame the meatmarket instead. you want to swipe for only the conventionally prettiest girls, ignore most women, then pout how it would work out if women treated you reciprocally.

i mean, how you think you get treated on the apps should prompt a different approach to dating. duh. setting aside "the golden rule." which is smart ethics.

Only if you’re an idiot who thinks you can evaluate personality based on pictures + text.