So is Professor Rekrunner. Plus he is a scientist and an engineer and a coach and an athlete. With impeccable logic. Because of his unparalleled expertise and vast experience, he knows exactly which drugs work (testosterone for women over 100 - 800 m) and which don't (all the rest), and can therefore focus the AIU's efforts on the relevant drugs and athletes.
No more wasting of time to "test" long distance runners or any men whatsoever.
P.S. Therefore free Shelby and Rhonex!
I appreciate the vote of confidence, but some corrections are in order. I was never a professor. Catching dopers does not need to consider whether drugs "work". WADA's banning a substance does not require the drug to "work".
THIS JOB IS FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im a really badass person when it comes to catching dopers!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im an RF engineer duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you see that they are looking for someone "objective, analytical, and methodical" with "excellent communication and inter-personal skills"? They would also need the name of three "referees".
THIS JOB IS FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im a really badass person when it comes to catching dopers!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im an RF engineer duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you see that they are looking for someone "objective, analytical, and methodical" with "excellent communication and inter-personal skills"? They would also need the name of three "referees".
So you don't have a chance, as you are the exact opposite.
Although, maybe Shelby and Jerry and Shalane (and tons of other offal lovers) might want to write great letters for you! 🥰
Did you see that they are looking for someone "objective, analytical, and methodical" with "excellent communication and inter-personal skills"? They would also need the name of three "referees".
So you don't have a chance, as you are the exact opposite.
Although, maybe Shelby and Jerry and Shalane (and tons of other offal lovers) might want to write great letters for you! 🥰
The bigger reason is that I wouldn't even apply. I could be qualified to provide mathematical and scientific support to such a figurehead, but have no interest in changing my current profession.
My interests would be more along the lines of education: much of the doping that athletes do have no evidentiary basis in the lab, or in the field.
This post was edited 17 seconds after it was posted.
Reason provided:
misspelling
Incorrect? That's strange as I copy/pasted these attributes directly from the job ad.
But don't misunderstand me. As convincing as you sell yourself, I am not the one you need to convince. You had me at space/time. I'm sold that you are totally over-qualified for the job, with your superior subjective space/time skills providing sufficient intelligence to bypass the need for lengthy investigations, not to mention your subtle communication style of knowing when to use bold, italics, bold/italics and CAPITALIZATION and including just the right amount of punctuation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, not to mention looking forward to future karaoke nights with Khamis. By all means, use these three world-renowned anti-doping luminaries as your primary references, and let us all know how quickly your application goes.
THIS JOB IS FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im a really badass person when it comes to catching dopers!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im an RF engineer duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you see that they are looking for someone "objective, analytical, and methodical" with "excellent communication and inter-personal skills"? They would also need the name of three "referees".
I literally LOLd at the thought of the two of you applying. You'd use your letsrun posts as evidence for being "objective, analytical, and methodical", and the responses and up/downvotes as evidence for your "excellent communication and inter-personal skills". Thank you!
P.S. Yes please use posters like dunes runner and armstronglives as references.
PP.S. And please please post AIU's response here. Can't wait!
Since I'm an objective person who bases my decisions on logic and factual information, rather than racism and conjecture, I would not be qualified for a position that disqualifies people for no legitimate reasons.
What happened to the previous Head of AIU Investigation and Intelligence? Offended the wrong dopers with connections?
Conflict of interest, was an australian and couldn't continue to coverup for a certain 1500m female runner from that country who 'miraculously', read; suspiciously, shaved 7 seconds off her personal best this year at the age of 27 and even went on to medal at the olympics after years of being average and running ~3:58. The previous head stepping down I suspect has something to do with the hammer eventually coming down on this clearly obvious medically aided 'improvement' of a certain someone mentioned.
Conflict of interest, was an australian and couldn't continue to coverup for a certain 1500m female runner from that country who 'miraculously', read; suspiciously, shaved 7 seconds off her personal best this year at the age of 27 and even went on to medal at the olympics after years of being average and running ~3:58. The previous head stepping down I suspect has something to do with the hammer eventually coming down on this clearly obvious medically aided 'improvement' of a certain someone mentioned.
Dear Hiring Manager, I am writing to apply for the position of “Catch Doper” as advertised on your website, as I believe I am the perfect fit for this role. As a lifelong fan of sports, I have always been as passionate about fair play as I am about catching cheaters. My experience as a private investigator has equipped me with skills as sharp as a hawk’s vision, as well as the ability to sniff out deception as easily as a bloodhound. As someone who has always been as meticulous as a Swiss watch, I can assure you that no doper will escape my scrutiny as long as I am on the job. As a team player, I work as well with others as I do independently, ensuring that our mission to catch dopers is as successful as possible. My dedication to this cause is as unwavering as my commitment to justice, as I believe that clean sports are as important as the athletes themselves. Thank you for considering my application. I am as excited about this opportunity as a kid in a candy store, and I look forward to contributing to your team as soon as possible.
Help us build the best running shoe review site for a chance to win a LetsRun t-shirt.Help us build the best running shoe review site for a chance to win one of 10 LetsRun t-shirts.
