Are you well adjusted? I ask you, are you well adjusted? If so, I knew people like you. I never understood people like you. I never even believed it. But if so, you didn’t have the ability to do what some of us could do, because we weren’t well adjusted. Tell me you were not well adjusted.
Good question! I am not sure what well adjusted means (in your definition), but I would wager I am kind of boring. I like the same things I have always liked. I love the same things I loved 30 years ago. That shows, to be honest, a lack of growth on my part. On the other hand, I am not bored or miserable or "searching" for meaning. Contentment over chaos. Exploration, yes. Seeking, not so much.
Maybe that is a good definition of a happy person, someone who is not always seeking something else. Of course that is easy for me to say, because I have the things I want.
The ten things I loved most in the world 30 years ago are still my top ten (if you allow me to count my kids as an extension of my wife and myself).
And I would agree that a more unsettled spirit or less contented person could achieve a lot more than I will. Jakob's drive to be the best will make him the best. It doesn't however guarantee that he will be happy. But I hope he will be. He has his brothers and a loving wife, so he's off to a good start!
No I don’t think you show a lack of growth. The truth is I am jealous of people like you, but not in the sense of wishing I were you, as I never could be, but just in the sense of if I could be I would be more like you, but I cannot. You are fortunate in many ways.
How is this possible? I grew up in a very conservative environment and have countless friends who married in their late teens/early twenties. All have large families(4 or 5 kids) and nearly all are married 20+ years later. I can count the divorces on one hand.
It's crazy to me how walled off different communities are in this country.
A lot of my doctor friends married much later and never had kids. They seem perfectly happy with their decision. Good for them. But they also interact with countless people everyday who chose a different path and respect that there a different ways to happiness in life.
I would have phrased it differently, but Tere does have a good point; to a certain extent, the couples I know that are okay with "different roles" are often the strongest couples.
When Elisabeth is nursing the baby a year from now, should Jakob be sitting there "helping" her or should he be doing something useful and productive for the family (like earning a million dollars a year)?
One thing that has made my own relationship stronger is that there is a lot of parity and "equity" in our marriage but we do have distinct strengths and weaknesses. We accept that and our roles/responsibilities are based on what we can do well.
There is never a sense that we both have to do everything and I think that gives us both a sense of purpose (in serving the other person) but also frees us from half the things we would otherwise have to do.
Stop making excuses for Jakob. He wasn’t acting. He was being himself. In every interview I’ve seen him do, he comes across as a narcissist. That’s how he comes across in the show. I feel bad for Elisabeth. If they have more kids, things will be that much more difficult for her.
I actually upvoted you because you are very possibly right... He is quite brash and immature which was fine when he was 18 or 19, but here he is four years later and he's still kind of a "punk kid." He also has a bit of the "it's not bragging if it's true" persona (which is wrong, btw, it is still bragging).
That said, Elisabeth says she is hopeful that after the baby arrives, he'll mature and be more serious. Perhaps that will happen. But you are right, there are no guarantees...
p.s. Most of us agree that athletes at this level are often narcissists. Maybe that is a by-product of that lifestyle? Or maybe you have to be like that to get the final 1% out of yourself? A little of both, perhaps?
This post was edited 28 seconds after it was posted.
What could go wrong with getting married at 22/23?
It’s not their age that’s the problem. It’s Jakob. To recap:
Jakob didn’t want to help his pregnant wife with domestic chores.
When his wife was near her delivery date, Jakob was training in another country.
While his wife was in labor, Jakob left her at the hospital to go do a track workout.
After the baby was born, Jakob’s wife shared a video of herself crying because caring for a newborn baby is so difficult, and she was having to do so much of it alone.
Of course he should help out, but he is the one that has a job and needs to be fresh for workouts, maybe he takes it to the extreme but he is one of the best in the world. She has no job other than taking care of the home and baby! And being on instagram is NOT a job.
A film critic in the Netherlands didn't like the series as he said unless you are super familiar with the brothers it was hard to follow.
"Here we are offered no context. None of the people are presented properly. None of the sports presentations are put into context. What we get to see are three nouveau riche bastards who have each built themselves a house of the smooth funky bird box type."
Netherlands? The website you links to is Norwegian, the critic has a Norwegian name, the review he wrote is in a Norwegian newspaper and he is in fact...Norwegian!
A film critic in the Netherlands didn't like the series as he said unless you are super familiar with the brothers it was hard to follow.
"Here we are offered no context. None of the people are presented properly. None of the sports presentations are put into context. What we get to see are three nouveau riche bastards who have each built themselves a house of the smooth funky bird box type."
Netherlands? The website you links to is Norwegian, the critic has a Norwegian name, the review he wrote is in a Norwegian newspaper and he is in fact...Norwegian!
Cut the guy some slack as he obviously meant Nigeria.
I knew this was going to happen after watching the first episode. I was expecting a more running-focused show, but it’s more like a reality show format (Kardashians, Osbornes) where there’s just a lot of down time with people being bored and saying stupid stuff.
He is clearly playing a role in this scene, and he should have anticipated the backlash.
He acts like a whiny baby, and then gets in his Mercedes super car and drives to the track and comments on his brother’s clothes and haircut. Maybe things are different in Norway, but he seems really effeminate in this show (so far).
A film critic in the Netherlands didn't like the series as he said unless you are super familiar with the brothers it was hard to follow.
I will jump in on this one. Though to be fair, I have only watched the first episode...
1) Yes, the Dutch critic is right. This makes no sense if you don't already know who the Ingebrigtsens are. The show's producers sort of explain it (via montage) that this is a family of good runners striving for the Olympics and that they are close-knit. This is true, but also not much of what the rest of us already know about Jakob. If you don't know much else, it seems like some skinny randos who are sort of chaotic/whiny.
The challenge is that they clearly didn't want to do a bunch of "backstory" because that would inevitably end up focusing on Gjert and their home situation and childhood. They didn't want to do this, so it is as if the Ingebrigtsens just "started out" at the age they already are today, fully formed.
2) Jakob really does whine about helping to unload the IKEA wardrobe and goes on and on about it. It seems like he is really unsupportive and disinterested. But here's the key, he knows he is on camera and it is sort of the role of "exhausted pro-athlete" and "man" as he says "do we really need this many outfits for a baby?" That is kind of what they would tell him to say if they were writing a script for a "dad" character.
3) His wife Elisabeth is going to be fine. She is a strong personality and can stand up for herself. Unless Jakob has some dormant abusive traits (from his dad), then this is probably the extent of it. I suspect that they are doing a bit of "role playing" in the first episode to illustrate how hard it is to be in their situation.
Yeah, so far after the 1st episode I would say the show is a snoozefest. Does anyone really care about the revival of Filip and Henrik's career at this point? I feel like for anyone who has watched Team Ingebrigtsen, we've already been there done that.
And yes, the whole Ikea furniture scene, I think it was scripted and very loosely based on reality. Elisabeth knows what she got herself into with Jakob, they've been together a long time and if setting up furniture becomes an issue, they have the resources to pay someone to take care of it.
I ran my first marathon at age 21. I graduated from college and got married at age 22. Started graduate school at 23 and was hired into my current job at 25. That was all in the mid-90s.
Still love to run, still love the wife, still love the job. It hasn't been 30 years yet, but so far, so good!
I’m guessing you were born white and wealthy in the USA?
A film critic in the Netherlands didn't like the series as he said unless you are super familiar with the brothers it was hard to follow.
"Here we are offered no context. None of the people are presented properly. None of the sports presentations are put into context. What we get to see are three nouveau riche bastards who have each built themselves a house of the smooth funky bird box type."
I also didn't like the series as i'm not super familiar with the brothers as it was super hard to follow
I didn't like the scene with jakob and his wife but not for the reasons that people said as I found the scene super hard to follow
I could understand why jakob wouldn't want to help his wife as i wouldn't want to help as its her job to pick her own clothes as thats not his job
and also if his wife is pregantn why don't they have someone else do this job for them as they have the money for it as I wouldn't want my wife to stress herself a ton
I ran my first marathon at age 21. I graduated from college and got married at age 22. Started graduate school at 23 and was hired into my current job at 25. That was all in the mid-90s.
Still love to run, still love the wife, still love the job. It hasn't been 30 years yet, but so far, so good!
I’m guessing you were born white and wealthy in the USA?
I enjoyed his take but I got the sense he is upper-middle class if he can afford to travel and have kids too. Plus he's an Xer and was in a job that beat the economic slumps of 2000 and beyond...
What could go wrong with getting married at 22/23?
It’s not their age that’s the problem. It’s Jakob. To recap:
Jakob didn’t want to help his pregnant wife with domestic chores.
When his wife was near her delivery date, Jakob was training in another country.
While his wife was in labor, Jakob left her at the hospital to go do a track workout.
After the baby was born, Jakob’s wife shared a video of herself crying because caring for a newborn baby is so difficult, and she was having to do so much of it alone.
He's a athlete. What do you expect? For him, it's absolutely critical to be able to train then.
I saw an interview (around the Olympics) where he was asked how his life has changed since he became a father, and he basically rambled for a long time and eventually said, well my life hasn't really changed. It sounds like he is totally uninvolved and doesn't see a reason to contribute to his family in any way other than monetarily. Very boomer mentality.
It’s not their age that’s the problem. It’s Jakob. To recap:
Jakob didn’t want to help his pregnant wife with domestic chores.
When his wife was near her delivery date, Jakob was training in another country.
While his wife was in labor, Jakob left her at the hospital to go do a track workout.
After the baby was born, Jakob’s wife shared a video of herself crying because caring for a newborn baby is so difficult, and she was having to do so much of it alone.
He's a athlete. What do you expect? For him, it's absolutely critical to be able to train then.
I expect him to be a supportive husband and involved father. He appears to be neither.
Watched the first episode last night. Jakob strongly reinforces his image as a douche. He's a professional runner and of course he needs to prioritize his running and recovery - I get it. But he can do that without having an immature, whiner douche attitude the whole time. Henrik and Filip seem relatively well-adjusted compared to Jakob. Some will say thats what sets Jakob apart, but I maintain that the attitude is unnecessary. Wouldn't wish a divorce on anyone, but also wouldn't be surprised if we saw one here.