Girlfriend wants to go on a girls trip to nashville. Is this code for cheating?

Tell her you’re doing a boys trip to austin next month

her reaction will be a good indicator

Nashville is pretty harmless. She's gonna drink and wear a cowboy hat and dance. That's pretty much it. Worst thing she can do is get a little too flirty with a guy at the bar but it's unlikely to go further

She'll be doing the boot scootin' boogie. Brace yourself for sloppy seconds.

Guys in Nashville run and do kegel exercises so that they are ready for all of the bachelorette parties and girl's trips that roll into town.

No. You don't own her.

If you take relationship advice from Honest Mike then you deserve everything that happens to you.

Dump her now. She's simply not that in to you, not ready for a serious relationship, or is a whoar at heart (and likely always will be).

If a man sets boundaries on a relationship, then he is trying to "own her," rather than owning himself and removing himself from the relationship. "She can't go," if she wants to be with him.

Probably true... but in giving advice, it's also true that I care more sincerely than most of the a-holes here.

What?? Tell her she can’t go?? Huh? You’re not her dad. Nor do you own her.

Expressing your concern would probably be the best choice of action….

honestly this is kind of bizarre to me. If you’re so concerned about her cheating, maybe you should consider that it isn’t a secure and good relationship. especially if you’ve been dating for a year.
Being worried about your SO cheating all the time isn’t normal. Just saying.

A Nashville trip after one year is pretty forward in a relationship.

This isn't your granpappy's Nashvul... just saying.

It's sad but I see the relationship ending either way at this point.

Dump her for being a white trash hick that wants to go to Nashville

It's not your granpappy's Nashvul...

It's like the Gaslamp Quarter in San Diego.

This thread got some good conversation in addition to the usual responses. I hope the latter don't feed into your anxieties, OP.

I can't find the link, so here's a paraphrase of a useful true story. A husband allowed his wife to go on a "girl's night out" and she ended up cheating on him (with a man who was much more attractive, had sex with her twice, and had anal sex with her). *Before* the night out, the wife removed her wedding ring. When he asked her why, she said, "Because if I wear it, other men won't dance with me." The husband was hurt, but was asking the online community what he should do. He ended his post with "I'm a Christian, so I think I should forgive her."

Ahem...here's the moral: if your gf (who is *not* your wife) intends to cheat, there will be warning signs. Is she changing her appearance? Removing personal items that signal she is attached? Did she blow a lot of money on a new wardrobe? These aren't *definitive* signs, as all women (like most men) like to feel attractive. But...as much as I personally hate the expression "red flag" (because it's always involved with metaphysical certainty), these symptoms might be one.

Two people here have asked you to bring up your concerns with your gf. I want to clarify: it needs to be done with tact. No one likes being accused of something they don't intend to do, after all. Here's a suggestion: tell her that you find her attractive, then tell her that you know other men find her attractive (it's true, and it's one of the worst parts of being a woman). Tell her how much you value your relationship, and tell her that you trust her. Then be honest: she'll likely be drinking and partying, and she might do so to the point where she'll do something she regrets. Give her permission to go, and listen to how she addresses your concern. If she gets upset, angry, or defensive, take note. Those are character flaws, and they show that she isn't listening to you. Restate your concern in a gentler way, and, again, take note.

OP, this is your *girlfriend*. Not your wife, not your committed life partner. I get where you are coming from, but I want you to try as hard as you can to adopt the perspective that this occasion is a wonderful opportunity for you to extend some vulnerability, and, fwiw, see what you have here. It's an even better opportunity to practice having difficult conversations, which are 1000% necessary if you ever want to be and stay married.

I think it depends. If your girlfriend was never a party girl and doesn't like bars and hook up places then that's a good thing. If she only wants to take in a few shows and if they go to a bar it'll be a fairly quiet place that isn't a pick up joint then you could be okay. If you can find out what her friends are like. If they're also in committed relationships and want the same as your girlfriend that's further evidence you should be okay. Of course the whole lot of them could be lying but you should be able to find out if they have long term boyfriends and get a feel for their intentions on the trip.

However if her friends are single and party girls who want to go out every night to have fun in hook up places then your girlfriend shouldn't even want to go on a trip like that. She'll be spending her time there being pestered by guys trying to buy her drinks with the sole intention of getting in her pants. Then her friends will be disappearing with guys one by one. If she's committed to you why would she want to be there. That's a red flag by itself.

It's tough to answer. Follow your intuition, not your insecurity. People are going to do what they want to any way. You also have to look at her group of friends, are they single etc. If you're not going to marry her. I'd say let it be, you go and get some cheeks while she's away. Shooters shoot.

You’re projecting male traits onto your girlfriend. She doesn’t think like you.

As a woman reading this thread, it's so bizarre and rife with paranoia. It also makes me wonder about boys trips now....

First of all, it's not for you to give permission. If there are no kids involved, she can go where she wants and she doesn't really have to check with you first. If you are scared she'll cheat, then ask yourself why that is. Has she given you reason not to trust her in the past? Have you not been trustworthy in the past and now you're worried she'll do the same?

Girls trips for me are just that! Girls trips. A chance to hang out catch up, share drinks, laughs and time with your GIRLS. If you are in a relationship, you're not going to be looking for guys to flirt and dance with. in fact, there may be very little interest in stranger guys at all except maybe a simple whisper to your girlfriends "oh that guy is hot" it someone walks into a bar. There will be no approaching of said man if people are in relationships though.

...on a local trip.

That's what you're not saying.