Is it okay to open up a can of Whoop A_s on my local hobby joggers at the annual Summer 5k?

You've got more problems than one can imagine. Get a real life loser!

Let us know how it goes.

Of course! Give the locals something to talk about. If there's a course record, go for it.

You realize of course that the hobby joggers don't care about the overall winner. They are in it for finisher medals and maybe an age group award.

The crowd will be more impressed by the 60+ year old geezers that break 25 than they will be by your sub 17.

OP you should just sit and kick on the leaders. Wait until 800m to go and drop a 2:15 800m on them.

Be sure to do the shush gesture to your competitors at the finish line. Have a photographer there to capture the moment. Post your triumphant pic everywhere, including here.

Two things, from someone who ran sub-14 back in the day and still likes to go out to small 5Ks and hammer out a 17:xx now and then:

(1) I mean this sincerely, not as a sarcastic comment or put-down: no one cares. No one is going to be particularly impressed if you run 16:30, and neither will anyone be insulted that you blew their doors off. Sure, a few people may congratulate you and express their astonishment at how fast you ran. But two seconds later they'll have stopped thinking about it. It's like when you see someone dressed up nicely, and you say "Wow, don't you look nice!" You're not lying in bed that night marveling at how well their tie was tied.

(2) Decide whether to run the race based on how it will make *you* feel, not on how you think it will make other people feel. If it'll be fun to see how fast you can run at this point, or even if you think you'll enjoy dropping the hammer on some fools and reliving the old competitive juices, then great - do it. But don't do it because you imagine it will impress other people, and don't *not* do it because you imagine it'll make them feel bad. They don't care either way (see point 1).

Personally, shallow as it may sound, I still get a kick out it. Racing is fun, and it's too bad so many runners lose the joy of it by the time they finish college.

My god, I would pay money to see this Duel in the Sun.

It's a terrible shame that 99% of the entertainment requires each runner being oblivious about the plans of the other.

I think it would be a lot more fun for you, and humiliating for the hobbyjoggers, to sit and kick.

Geezer here. 16:30 wins? Man, this sport has gotten soft.

Where is the race?

I fly for free (via my wife's flight benefits from work).

I would be happy to come run this race to pace you through the first three miles and unleash just a little whoop on you just so you know how it feels to be put in your place.

As others have said, if you run it, then run it for yourself not to humiliate others.

No one really cares.

If you want to duck my question, cool. Just be sure to stick around the finish to cheer on the others who are out there doing the best they can do on that day.

Either way, enjoy your race.

Tell me where the race is. If you are close enough I can send a couple of my guys to embarrass you.

Yeah run it, hard, and about 100m from the finish line hold up your index finger with chest puffed out, glaring at the crowds. Wear your finisher medal to work and local coffee shop for the next week of so, maybe hang it over your car mirror and park in handicap spots, you deserve it!

Or, just run it and have fun. You will feel good and maybe inspire some "lying flat" kids to get off their butts and run.

If you're so great then do it barefoot

I think the OP can really have fun with this. Some options to consider;

1) Show up with an open beer and smoking a cigarette, stub out the cig as the gun goes off, but continue to drink from the beer for the first 50 meters and then toss the can to the side

2) Run the race in jeans and with chuck taylors on

3) start dead last and see if you can still win

4) fake collapse 30 meters from the finish and crawl over the line

5) run the race with your poorly fitting college uniform and vaporflys, at the finish rip the singlet off like Lyles or Warholm and scream

6) At the finish drop to your knees and praise Allah like Hassan after her London win

7) etc etc

I only wish I had the talent to open up all these possibilities for me when I race….

No, none of that crap. Just run it barefoot.

The only real question is if you will enjoy doing a glorified time trial? If so, do it. If not, don’t.

Nobody will really care. You will be 2 minutes faster than the 2 place, so you aren’t even really in the same race.

You have to open up that can. Ageing will take that ability away some day so do it now. And if anyone there could open a can on you believe me they would. It's not always for pro potential or the money. It's like street balling on the court, do it because you can. You might trigger some competition the next time they see you at a race. Do it!!!

The tradition of going back home in your college or immediate post-college years and jogging to victory in the hometown 5k or 10k or whatever goes back several generations. My college years were in the mid-80s and it was a common theme among my college team back then. We'd all go win our towns' Fourth of July races or summer festival race or whatever the town hosted. I remember one guy having the misfortune of having to tell us he lost his town's July 4 race because a local 30-something stud managed to outkick him. We razzed the hell out of the guy for it.

Tell us which race and where. That way if any of us are close enough we can come blow your doors off.