This is why moms hate distance runner husbands. Women already do 70% of household work even when they're holding down jobs and you're asking if she can pick up the slack so he can go for a long run and come back to sit on the couch all day.
70%? Are you sure? Sounds like a sweeping generalization.
All I'm suggesting is wife should enable him to follow his pursuits, and likewise with he for her.
I was trying to be generous. Recently went on a vacation with college friends who were constantly on their phones directing their husbands about pickups and dropoffs for their kids' various camps and activities, and arranging plans for when they get back. They work too. There's not just daily cooking and cleaning, which is pretty transparent in terms of who's doing what. There's also researching schools, camps, vacation and scheduling with other parents about parties and get-togethers, getting bday gifts, making doctor appts. Sometimes it's not the dad's fault. Schools and other parents will automatically email the mom, even if he's the one in charge of the kid stuff.
Single guy here, no kids. 18 mile hangover run sounds like hell lol.
Can your wife not absorb some of the workload to free you up? Give and take here, not saying shes not pulling her weight.
Even I struggle with wanting to dedicate even 45 mins a day to running, appreciate the perspective check.
Source: single dude who runs 30 miles a wk, next wk goal is a lofty 40 miles lol.
This is why moms hate distance runner husbands. Women already do 70% of household work even when they're holding down jobs and you're asking if she can pick up the slack so he can go for a long run and come back to sit on the couch all day.
This hits kind of hard - a guy I know who is married with 3 kids (including a 6 month old) is having major marriage issues and appears to be headed toward separation. Him and his wife work full time, and he's still trying to run 100-mile ultras semi-competitively. That means 6-8 hours of training just during the weekend, and several shorter runs during the week, and he always starts them at peak family time like 10am or 5pm. Plus all the time spent tinkering with gear, watching Youtube, etc. Don't be that guy.
Been training since 1977. It just came with time and wear and tear. During COVID and social separation, I had a brief two year resurgence ( 67 y/o) of 2000 miles and 27 weeks over 50 but then even hit hard after that.
I may only get 12-1500 this year and I’m slowing down in races at a rate had you told me would be a fact 40 years ago, I wouldn’t have believed at all.
Along the way , 6 cortisone shots in spine, cancer, 3 knee miniscus surgeries and a colectomy. The scar tissue from that surgery has given me fits.
I was a once upon a time never was but ran upwards of 120-140 a week with long stretches of 100+ and a 2:32 marathon. After marriage and our first kid there was just no way I was going to maintain the running fitness I had. However, I worked at a gym as a trainer/corporate wellness coordinator.....so I started lifting. Turns out running 30-60 min 3-4x a week and lifting 30-60min 2-3x a week is a satisfying level of overall fitness. Fast forward a few years and I joined the Army. So, I have never had to pay for a gym membership...ever.
As far as running goes, if you are trying to maintain any type of race fitness just focus on the hard runs...long run, tempo, interval, hills, etc
Recently did this. I simply don’t train for marathons at this point in time. I completely dropped running long runs. I did a five week stretch where I didn’t run on the weekend, 5 weekday runs 35-40mpw. I have two kids, lots of house projects the wife is bugging me about and running is simply getting in the way or making me too tired to do those things.
I'm retired now with two adult children. From age 30, when our first child was born until my mid 50s I was working 50+hrs/wk, going to my kids' school events and trying to get some projects done on our house. During those years my approach was just to run as much as I could when I could, and not obsess or stress about when work or family responsibilities left no time for running. By the time my kids graduated from college I was able to start cutting back on work hours and get into a more traditional structured training schedule. Now, I have gone from being a mid-pack local age group guy to being one of the top mid-distance age group guys in the country. If you still love running and racing, just put it in proper context with the other priorities in your life and enjoy what you can do, and don't waste energy on thinking about what you don't have time to do.
My most important advice is: keep your diet in check. Between reduced/zero mileage, stress, lack of sleep etc. it's so easy to gain weight during the infant/toddler stage. Once my last kiddo was off to all-day preschool, I suddenly had an extra free hour every day. And I only worked until 1pm on Fridays so I finally had an entire afternoon to myself, which I used to start firing up some long runs.
But I had gained 30lbs between the birth of my first kid and my last kid going off to all-day preschool at age 3. And I was already about 10lbs above my ideal weight when the first kiddo was born. Getting back into "serious" running would've been so much easier without the extra 40lbs which took over a year to shed. Consider eliminating alcohol, avoid nutrition devoid garbage like Oreos or soda, candy, and eat small portions. This will all pay off when you are able to ramp up your training again.
Lots of good feedback already. Agree with others saying push aside the marathon for now and focus on setting realistic goals by running well at shorter distances. The process and results need to be enjoyable if you are putting in the time. And watch the diet.
I'd consider bumping up w/u and/or c/d on your tempo or progression to make that your longest run. It's more time efficient that way. Introduce a day with 100-400m reps and hill surges of varying paces in place of the day you set aside for the normal long run.
If you have access to cardio machines, I found 30-40 minutes twice a week after kids go to bed are great for your days off from running. My primary go-to evening basement sessions are the erg or treadmill incline power walking. I found those to two workouts to be the most beneficial to running.
I dropped my mileage from 90-100 per week to 45-55 “training miles” (sum of running + x-training equivalent) with a lot of success making some of those tweaks. Married, three kids, full time job, coaching HS and youth sports, etc. – not a lot of extra time. Long gone are the marathon days, but running mid-distance races again has been a blast. Best of luck.
