perflekt wrote:
nihilism is the philosophy du jour of your generation. tho not entirely your fault, the whole world is basically heading toward a socioeconomic collapse (perpetuated by spiritual malaise), so there's plenty of reasons to be in the gutter.
do what I did. spend whole life being told you're super capable and can do whatever you put your mind to. be negative, think miles down the road and quit before you ever start anything because everything is "bs".
cope by being a total wastoid through your 20s after barely graduating from a top college where you went to class almost never and decided to hand in your senior thesis 20 minutes past the deadline.
drift in and out of odd jobs with minimal responsibility, get fired from many, barely scrape by.
then, rediscover a creative outlet. in my case, writing stories, books. self publishing.
you need to do something, create something. because you want to. maybe the money will come with it, but make it something you do for yourself. spirituality and religion can serve this function in some regards as well. for me, if I'm not creating a little something (words/pages in my next fiction novel) every single day, I don't feel satisfied.
What's helped me is finally finding a freelance writing job to supplement my outbound calling job, boosting my morale. It even has given the outbound calling job more purpose and me a better outlook on it. With both salaries combined I'm doing ok and not feeling envious and/or lost vs. when I was making 38k and had no future.
Sometimes in life you just need to catch a break, and milk it for what it's worth. I WFH so it helps me have more time to write my books!