I married into a poor family. Ask me anything

investing noob wrote:

Disko Eric wrote:

You sound like a dirt bag. I hope your wife divorces yams and meets someone that doesn’t come to the internet to brag about their life.

I'm not bragging at all. Some of my peers are able to retire early. But we'll probably be working until 65-67 since we will be supporting her family when they're unable to work anymore. Plus we will be helping our kids with their college. We don't have the privilege inheriting generational wealth like some do.

Looking at it in practical terms, if her parents don't speak English then they're likely immigrants from a poor country with a short life expectancy, so they if you are already mid fifties, they'll probably be dead in like 5 or 10 years. How much support do those guys need if they've worked full time in a factory their whole lives? If your wife is paying on a house for them, likely you'll inherit it when they pass.

Blase Bill wrote:

investing noob wrote:

I'm not bragging at all. Some of my peers are able to retire early. But we'll probably be working until 65-67 since we will be supporting her family when they're unable to work anymore. Plus we will be helping our kids with their college. We don't have the privilege inheriting generational wealth like some do.

Looking at it in practical terms, if her parents don't speak English then they're likely immigrants from a poor country with a short life expectancy, so they if you are already mid fifties, they'll probably be dead in like 5 or 10 years. How much support do those guys need if they've worked full time in a factory their whole lives? If your wife is paying on a house for them, likely you'll inherit it when they pass.

No. The parents will leave the house (if they actually have one) and whatever assets they may have to the deadbeat siblings because they need it. If I were OP I'd operate from a separate account from the wife. The fact that he felt the need to unload on a message board about it means trouble,. Financial issues are high on the list of reasons for divorce.

How did you get to your net worth? What’s you and your wife’s annual income?

Was it from investing in stocks or real estate?

WiTuLo wrote:

Blase Bill wrote:

Looking at it in practical terms, if her parents don't speak English then they're likely immigrants from a poor country with a short life expectancy, so they if you are already mid fifties, they'll probably be dead in like 5 or 10 years. How much support do those guys need if they've worked full time in a factory their whole lives? If your wife is paying on a house for them, likely you'll inherit it when they pass.

No. The parents will leave the house (if they actually have one) and whatever assets they may have to the deadbeat siblings because they need it. If I were OP I'd operate from a separate account from the wife. The fact that he felt the need to unload on a message board about it means trouble,. Financial issues are high on the list of reasons for divorce.

I raise you that most, if not all, of the deadbeat siblings will pre-decease the parents due to drugs/unhealthy/high risk lifestyles, and that the wife will eventually realise her spouse is a gold-digger and divorce him.

Also need to know whether the parents live in the US or are still in their non-English speaking country. If so, how much does it costs to keep them?

Who even talks about this kind of stuff? His wife earns more than him, seems to have no college debt so is possibly a high earning immigrant, and he is still complaining. But it seems doubtful that any white family would have allowed their daughter to marry him with his attitude and low salary.

net worther wrote:

How did you get to your net worth? What’s you and your wife’s annual income?

Was it from investing in stocks or real estate?

Annual income is about 290k combined. It took us 3-4 years to pay off grad school loans. After that we were able to max out retirement accounts (401k, Roth IRAs and HSA). Most of our net worth is in 401k and the house. We bought our first house in 2015 for 310k and sold two years later for 350k. Had about 100k equity. Then bought our current house for 750k 3 years ago, now it's worth about 930k. So we just got lucky with the recent bull stock market and real estate market.

Before grad school and marriage, we each made about 58-70k and didn't have much saved up.

Her family all lives in the US.

I make 130k and she makes 160k. If that makes me a gold digger then that's fine. I'm a saver, she is a spender. I still drive a 13 year old Accord with 183k miles.

I'm not complaining. Just giving people a perspective that they may not think about. I certainly didn't think about these things before.

You're right, who even talks about this stuff? I should talk about more productive stuff that's trending on letsrun, like how Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are acting.

investing noob wrote:

Maybe...... wrote:

This post makes no sense really. You say you married into a poor family, yet your wife earns more than you. Who really married into the poor family ?

You also say "She somehow became very successful". Well played for giving her full kudos for where she got to today.

You sound like an idiot tbh.

I am giving her full kudos because most of her peers didn't make it past high school, got into drugs/gangs (like her brother), got pregnant as teens, etc.

When we were new grads, we didn't have much money. Probably 11k in our checking account.

Sounds pretty good to me!

"I married into a poor family. Ask me anything"

Do they buy scratch off lottery tickets and "invest" in bitcoin?

I mean that you're judging your wife. You have obviously put a lot of thought into how much she earns and how much you will earn off her parents when they pre-decease her (nothing). Most people don't think about money beyond whether their spouse is likely to contribute financially. You have put a lot of thought into this, for some reason. It seems likely that your wife will at some point become aware of this and annoyed by it. Its not a great attitude.

What you have failed to mention is whether your wife had college debt. If she has none, thats already a big financial bonus.

You do come across as somewhat calculating and as having all your wife's financial stats at your fingertips. Its pretty odd. Most men don't care about these things. They are more concerned about compatibility. Most men will never have the choice to marry a woman from a wealthy family.

Were you even in a position to marry a woman from a wealthy family? As many upper middle class families would exclude guys who talk about actual sums of money straight away. Are you good looking, well behaved and from a good family yourself? If not, then your high earning wife is as much as you could expect to achieve, and probably more.

Are you thinking you should have made a predatory marriage? In that case, you should have married an older widowed or divorced woman. Thats a lot easier than marrying a woman from a wealthy family. Not that I'm advocating it. But wealthy families usually know how to protect their wealth.

The Wealthy Poors wrote:

"I married into a poor family. Ask me anything"

Do they buy scratch off lottery tickets and "invest" in bitcoin?

They all buy lottery tickets and powerball and stuff, hoping to get rich one day. One of their friends won $1mil+ from a scratch ticket so they always have hope.

Her siblings all buy crypto and meme stocks. Her sister went all in AMC last year and made a lot. I think she made money from GME, doge and SHIB too. They also went big in Tesla. They buy whatever people on Twitter tell them to. They do not understand market cap, interest rate hikes, PE ratios or anything like that so I worry that they'll lost big in the future. She and her husband live beyond their means. But he is a police officer and gets unlimited overtime and pension, so they don't need to worry about 401k like we do.

I never understand why people think it’s bad when their spouse gives money to their family. Guess what? It’s their money. Family comes before a spouse that can be replaced. Especially with Mexicans. I’m assuming she’s Mexican with the dirt poor family and sending money to them because that’s a Mexican thing to do. I suppose other cultures probably do it too. I’m just less familiar with those.

White Americans are literally the only creatures on the planet who think it’s better to let your family struggle on the street while you stack cash to the ceiling buying nonsense luxury items. Seriously, go to any other country in the world and they sacrifice their own well being to help their family. Then in America they say “helping your family makes them weak. It’s better they are homeless to teach them to get their act together.” All the while they go out and buy a new $2,000 golf set every year so they shoot 110 year in and year out.

I'm not expecting any money from my parents or from hers.

I thought I already mentioned it, but we both had over 100k in student loan debt when we graduated. We paid them off aggressively at the same time before buying our first home. Looking back, it would have been wiser to make minimum payments and invest the rest instead but having no loans is definitely less stressful.

I handle all the finances which is why I have all of my wife's financial stats. I do the taxes, pay the bills, etc. She had no knowledge of 401k or Roth IRA before we met, so I helped her set those up. I do not control her finances at all, she is free to spend whatever she likes.

I see a lot of married couples say "I paid off my loans but he still has X amount" or vice versa. We never thought of our student loans as his or hers, we paid them off together from our joint account.

Also a lot of people are calling me a gold digger here. We dated for 2 years before deciding to pursue grad school. We both went to grad school at the same time as struggling students. I did not decide to marry my wife after she got her master's.

Yes, I was in a position to marry an ex girlfriend from an upper middle class family, who was accepted to med school at the time. We broke up before she started med school. I believe she is a doctor now, but I haven't been in contact with her in years.

I'm not sure what a predatory marriage is so I can't answer that question.

I agree with this.

Do you still like your wife?

The real question- is she hot? Like 3rd world country hot? Brazil, Columbia, Argentina?

To the OP. I’m in the same situation other than a few parts. My wife doesn’t work - stay at home mom, and she is one of 8 children. Oh, and my net worth is no where near yours. So I’ve got more in-laws than you and I’m paying, not her. Just like you, I’m fine with it as long as it’s not enabling. I feel good spreading my success with those close to me and there is nothing more important than family. I’d say your and my situation is more common than you think. We just don’t know about it because people don’t feel the need to brag.

Love how you game it out here. I really hope he doesn’t have kids with this poor woman bc I see a sad future for him and I’d feel bad if he takes hostages on the way

fansofonly wrote:

Do you still like your wife?

Yes of course!