More and More Women Are Paying Alimony to Failure-to-Launch Ex-Husbands. And They’re Really, Really Not Happy About It.

I dunno about that. I also work in Columbus, albeit remotely these days, and in the IT world, easy 80% are male and on my team alone, the range is 120k to 150k. All of us have wives who make significantly less, jobs like HR, teaching, sales, etc. We have women in the same range of course, but they are easily outnumbered 10 to 1, not because of any sort of sexism, but because you just don't see many women pursuing software engineering from an early age.

sometimes they gave it up, more times than not, they went out of their way to seek that arrangement

Alimony these days is almost always part of a compromise over community assets. One side gets alimony in exchange for letting the other side keep furniture, TVs, jewelry, vehicles, etc. without having to buy the other side out or sell and divide proceed. And there are always two sides to a story. These days, men do stay home with kids while their wives work if the wife has a higher income. If the wife smashes with her personal trainer and throws the husband out, it is not outrageous to expect some alimony to give the ex a chance to get back on his feet.

Also, if you are a high income earner and marry without a prenup, you get what you get.

I don't know where these statistics are coming from but they don't seem all that reflective of what is actually happening. I don't think those numbers are taking into account all the single mothers out there. Generally for the middle class I have to agree the women are killing it bringing home great salaries and benefits while the husband is a grunt in construction or something

I dunno about that. I also work in Columbus, albeit remotely these days, and in the IT world, easy 80% are male and on my team alone, the range is 120k to 150k. All of us have wives who make significantly less, jobs like HR, teaching, sales, etc. We have women in the same range of course, but they are easily outnumbered 10 to 1, not because of any sort of sexism, but because you just don't see many women pursuing software engineering from an early age.[/quote]

Do see female software engineers making 15 to 20% less than comparatively experienced male software engineers?

Hey ladies, "You can now have it all"...including alimony payments.

That you think your anecdotal experience carries more weight than national data and statistics might indicate why you are doing income verifications.

xczvzxcv wrote:

just as working men don't like ex-wives (and sometimes wives) living off of them

lol that's not true at all. Every guy's dream would be to make loads of money and give his hot wife a credit card with a $20k limit so she can spend all day shopping, going to the spa, going to the gym, etc.

jamin wrote:

xczvzxcv wrote:

just as working men don't like ex-wives (and sometimes wives) living off of them

lol that's not true at all. Every guy's dream would be to make loads of money and give his hot wife a credit card with a $20k limit so she can spend all day shopping, going to the spa, going to the gym, etc.

jamin wheres the coke

jamin wrote:

xczvzxcv wrote:

just as working men don't like ex-wives (and sometimes wives) living off of them

lol that's not true at all. Every guy's dream would be to make loads of money and give his hot wife a credit card with a $20k limit so she can spend all day shopping, going to the spa, going to the gym, etc.

Reading's not one of your strengths. Few would like to give their hot ex-wives a credit card with a $20k limit.

Go to a playground and you'll mostly see mothers with their children. More women stay home and the pandemic has actually increased that tendency, especially when the kids were zoom-schooled. Other things have gotten better for women over time. For instance, the 82% figure is up from around 67% when I was in college. Colleges are 55% female in the student body. Med schools and law schools are majority women.

I think it often creates issues when women are the breadwinners. I'm not sure if it's a temporary hitch as we adjust to a world where men and women can play similar, interchangeable roles, or if in fact biologically men want to be the providers and women the nurturers.

My ex-husband filed for divorce saying I cared more about my career (and running...) than him. I made more money than him. He did okay but was never really into his job. We had verbally agreed that when we had kids he could stay home with the kids and I would work. But in the end, I think it made him bitter. When he left he said he'd never want me to be the mother of his children because mothers were supposed to be home with their children. That was something he'd never previously voiced, probably because it's a taboo thing to say in a modern feminist world.

Since then I initially was dating men who generally made less money than me, because I don't really care about money. But I think men LIKE to feel like the providers. I always insisted on splitting the check on dates out of a sense of fairness, but I think men feel emasculated sometimes when when do this. They actually like you LESS when they don't get to pay for you.

In addition, many of the other powerful "career" women I encounter have secretly pulled me aside and said they wish they could stay home with their kids but cannot because their husbands do not make enough money.

Sometimes I think we've been duped by feminism. It seemed like such a nice idea. I was raised to believe I could do anything a man could do so I should pursue a career above all else. Now I find myself in middle age, financially successful but lacking in a family and children, and it makes me sad sometimes.

Are you single now because I'd love to stay at home and play dress up or Halo or whatever they're into. I'm getting better at laundry and cooking too!

Good for these guys. Women have been doing that for decades. People want to talk about social equity, well time for women to start paying their fair share to men.

This made me sad too.

People who marry down make a choice to select their partner on ease of attraction. Lets face it, everyone would prefer to marry the hot blond runner chick with a graduate degree and career prospects who is also a well grounded person, but that involves effort and competing against other guys, so the homely chick 15 pounds overweight who works as a hairdresser is the make-do-til-something-better-comes along that ends up permanent. Because hot chicks don't date guys that are not single. Hot chicks are rarely single for long either, so if a guy misses the boat, it means the homely chick or an internet bride from another continent.

I guess its the same for women marrying losers, minus the internet spouse.

NotPC wrote:

It's terrible those poor women were forced to marry such losers and then continue to pay that loser afterward.. how horrible! (eye roll)

I bet they loved these guys before because theses dudes were artistic, he had a band, lived such a carefree lifestyle, was sooo passionate about his surfing/writing/running/, he's not stuffy and boring like my dad always worried about work and money. All that stuff is cool until there are kids, a mortgage, and the bills are due.

They are going through the male equivalent to marrying The Party Girl.

This. The girl hits 30 and all of a sudden the good lookin dude with abs and a nice jawline is seen as not an attractive mate anymore if he’s pulling $60k.

That not belongs to the guy with a dad bod who is at best at a 6 and has a $200k income. The girl will suffer through the sex for those two kids and that 3600 sq ft home.

My wife and I are in the same profession and see a lot of women in our profession who are married to schoolteachers who don't comprehend that their wives are the breadwinners. They don't help around the house or with the kids but do spend a lot of time playing golf.

sa1tychicks wrote:

Makes me wish that I was gay so I never needed to interact with a woman for the rest of my life.

I am gay and the best things about it are no women or children!