Do you care if your girlfriend/wife hangs out with other guys??

Well, I never said that they don't want me to hang out with them.... they usually offer to include me when they go bowling or to a movie or something. But, it's akward. SHE'S their friend, I'm just kind of the baggage. It's not supposed to be like that. Guys are supposed to hang out with their guy friends, and the guy friends bring their girlfriends - not the other way around. when guys hang out with female friends who bring their boyfriends, it's unnatural.

It is as simple as this:

Did your mother have a bunch of single guy friends that she hung out with on a regular basis without your father?

Didn't think so.

Since you have such a professionl degree and title I wonder if it is only female seeds that sprout buds or do the male seeds show prduction as well?

Many a good relationship is screwed up by insecure bfs. My current says it is exactly the reason she split with her last bf. And her friend also split with demanding bf. see a pattern here? Ever hear the famous phrase we need sometime off. Seperate reality from fiction. U don't like it, but has she given u a reason to be suspicious of her motives. I want to be the only man in the world 4 her? Chill dude keep this up and u are going to be alone real soon. Relax go run, meet other people/girls lo get drunk go out, and behold my gf always ends up calling me. Give her but don't drown her with you presence, let her chase u sometimes makes the woman think the whole relationship is her idea, devious ai.

I agree with Ballsharry. Pretty simple really.

bulldog35 wrote:

Since you have such a professionl degree and title I wonder if it is only female seeds that sprout buds or do the male seeds show prduction as well?

Male seeds never develop into budding plants to my knowledge... however female plants have hermaphroditic tendancies, and can develop male pollen sacs

BUt when you want to go "hang" out with a girl is that OK? Usually not. There's a double standard happening here people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

tbonesteakerb wrote:

BUt when you want to go "hang" out with a girl is that OK? Usually not. There's a double standard happening here people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

hello.... when did I say that?

marijuologist, I could be wrong but I think tbone meant if you wanted to hang out with a bunch of women would your gf have a problem with it. I think she would. That might be a good angle. If you two ever discuss this ask her how she would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. I know, she would lie and say "I wouldn't mind" but she really would.

Yo, start pimpin' her out and make some mad coin on your be-otch's popularity. Get in the game, cuz.

You can trust your girlfriend, but you can't trust the guys. I mean, why would any guy want to hang out with any girl unless they are more than friends? The one and only reason is because they hope to be more than friends.

I am being serious here, I had female "friends" in college that had boyfriends, and I would always make comments and get it in their heads that maybe a long distance thing, or maybe the guy wasn't right, or whatever.

I guarantee at least one of the guys wants your girlfriend.

someone wrote:

I guarantee at least one of the guys wants your girlfriend.

All of them want her, unless A) she is ugly or B) they are gay.

I made quite a few mistakes involving women earlier in my life--and by "earlier" I mean the 25 year swath between age 19 and age 44, when I finally met my wife.

One mistake was in thinking that there are any hard and fast rules where men and women are concerned. I read enough Buddhist & assorted spiritual literature somewhere along the line to realize that in asking the sort of question you've answered, and in wishing the situation were other than it was, I was simply trying to get stable ground under my feet. The reality of life is....well, suffering. But more than that: it's ceaseless change, instability, the failure of what seems like solid ground to hold up.

Not knowing the particulars of who you are, who your gf is, and who the bunch of guys is, I can't offer foolproof advice.

I do know, though, that you need to find a middle way between:

a) loving and unconditionally accepting your gf and her behavior--i.e., hanging out with these guys

and

b) letting her know, in a fierce and manly way, that you think she's basically planning on f-ing one or more of the guys at some point, and that's not OK with you.

Read WHEN THINGS FALL APART: HEART ADVICE FOR DIFFICULT TIMES, by Pema Chodron if you're more inclined to work with option A. Good sensible Tibetan Buddhist advice.

Read THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN, by David Deida, if you're more inclined to work with option B. In fact, you'd do well to start with one from column B, under the circumstances.

For the aforementioned large swaths of my abject singledom--and my abject living-with-a-woman-dom--I missed the boat in ways that Deida helped wake me up to. I guess you could say that my sense of what a man needs to communicate to a woman to get her to align herself more passionately with him was ruined by an extended early relationship with a hardcore academic feminista--a gorgeous, half-Hawaiian one, but still a woman who managed to have various male "friends" who she'd hang out with, and managed to make me incredibly insecure in the process.

Deida helped screw my head on a little straighter. Weekend workshop; banging on drums-stuff, but also serious heart-to-heart, non-macho but decidedly gendered-as-male stuff. Talk among men. It made sense.

Sometimes, no matter what they say, women just want you to be the fierce, clear-thinking, spiritually resourceful, attentive, passionate, NON-wimpy male. This may be one of those situations. You may have to take a stand and say, "Look, hon, this partying-with-the-guys thing just doesn't work for me. Next time you get the urge to call The Gang up, let me know and I'll take you dancing." But do not whine, ever. That will simply make her flee to The Gang. And don't tag along, ever. Now, it's fine if you want to go along with her and make guy-friends with the guys. But do NOT tag along as the Jealous Boyfriend. That emasculates you, and your gf won't think more highly of you for it. You'll become her Supervisor. No woman is turned on by that.

David Deida. Start there. Unless you're a Shakti-shoe-wearing androgynous-boy, as I was at the age of 20, living in Berkeley with my Hawaiian love-goddes and getting insecure any time she gazed at another man. I was a great whiner. Whining and tagging along doesn't work. Keeping clear and focused on what YOU are about works. If your gf is the right woman for you, she'll not only stick around, but she'll grow even more interested in you and somewhat less interested in The Gang.

If she's the wrong woman for you, there's absolutely nothing you can do--and no reason to do anything. The Buddha has spoken.

If she's screwing or making out with one of the guys, she's out the door. If not, what's the big deal, just go find some women to hang out with and turn the tables on her.

What you have, my friend, is a serious case of "oneitis" -- which means you think your girlfriend is the only girl in the world and you can't do without her. Most American men, sadly, have oneitis, which is a dreadful disease.

Honestly, there are no soul mates or "ones" but millions of them. Your mom and dad met because they were in the same place at the same time and were attracted to each other. If your dad or mom lived somewhere else and didn't meet, they'd most likely be married to someone else. That "soul mate" stuff is Hollywood garbage.

I'd suggest dating others, realizing that there are others out there and getting rid of your terrible case of "oneitis."

* Note: If you're having problems dating, you're going to have worse problems when you're married ... I know that and I've never been married, but many of my friends are in lousy marriages.

Are they well hung? And you're not? That there's a problem that won't go away. She's getting jiggy wit it and all of if it's going in. Pack your bags, hombre and find another women to club over the head.

Obviously a powerpoint opportunity here.

Like my T-shirt says...."Your girlfriend f***s like a champ."

Not any more. When last I heard she was in the processing of chasing an airline pilot to the altar. Good luck to him.

lets throw a twist into this. your girlfriend has a old boyfriend (who she's happened to have f***ed) coming into town for the weekend. do you let her hang out with the guy? do you let her hang out with the guy but only while you are there?