OP, do you live with this woman and dog?
OP, do you live with this woman and dog?
My spouse does this.
Dump her, TRUST ME!!
Following your gut. Don't look back.
Ask her if she wants to go on a walk with you and then take the dog along.
Bothers the dog more. Poor dog.
Active Guy wrote:
but it just seems absolutely insane to me that someone would sit around their apartment for a week straight and never go outside even to walk their big energetic dog for even 20 minutes on a nice day.
It seems absolutely insane to me that you won't bring this up with her. She tells you she has nothing to do and is asking for ideas and you dont think to say, "I know the dog would love to go for a walk."
Like if she wasn't asking for things to do, it might be a little awkward to bring up but if you can't bring these things up, then you are screwed long term.
You need to address this. I think this is also a sign of weakness from you.
Is there any chance that right now she's posting on her favorite forum along the lines of, "I"m trying to see if my boyfriend will stand up for what's right even if he thinks it might annoy me. I've told my bf that for 3 months I haven't walked my dog to see if will call me out on it and he hasn't done it yet. Should I dump him?"
outsider69 wrote:
Active Guy wrote:
I don't fully understand why, but this has been really upsetting me recently. My gf has a lab mix that is about 2 years old. It has a lot of energy and will play for hours if it has someone or another dog to play with. Overall my gf takes good care of it, but she almost never walks it, like literally probably once per month, even if she has nothing going on. For example, her job is seasonal (think field biology), and it ended about a week ago, and she has just been sitting around her apartment every single day doing nothing but watching dumb movies on Netflix all day long and has not taken her dog on even a 20 minute walk a single time in the last week even though we've been having nice weather for this time of year (50 degrees and sunny). She has talked to me about how she has nothing to do and feels bad about how lazy she has been, but she still will not walk her dog at all or walk herself.
I guess overall this kind of seems even to me like I'm getting upset over something that is pretty trivial, but it just seems absolutely insane to me that someone would sit around their apartment for a week straight and never go outside even to walk their big energetic dog for even 20 minutes on a nice day. I guess it makes me think she's not really that great of a dog owner, which kind of says some things about her, and, as someone who is very active, it makes me feel pretty put off knowing that she is fine staying inside for a week and not even walking at all or going outside to feel sunshine. Just doesn't seem to bode well for our compatibility or the future of her physical or mental health. Again, I know recognize it's all kind of trivial, but it's still bothering me...
Not saying this will fix everything but I've had roommates with pets in the same situation. What I would do is just start taking them for runs. The first mile or two of my run, then drop them off back at the house and continue on. Your girlfriend is not likely going to change any time soon, so if you care about the dog you should simply just start running with it. Don't say it's because you feel bad for the dog, just say you think it would be fun to run with the dog because you want to see how fast it is. It's a win win and eventually she'll maybe start taking part and walking the thing.
Just remember your concern is for the dog, not starting an argument about the philosophy of owning a pet. Lead by example.
This is a really fantastic answer^. You need to either do this or get out now. In X years it will be sitting inside all day with your kids when its beautiful out and they could go to a park or hike a trail or just goof around in the backyard.
Coach Dunbar wrote:
Dump the girl! I don’t care how good the sex is! Dump her now before it’s to late. You can tell how a woman will be by the way she treats her pets. Dude? Get out now and take the dog with you if you want to save yours and the dogs life!
The girl is too lazy to walk the dog. Doubt the sex is all that great.
I mostly agree with your post except ditto to rojo’s post. This also says a lot about the OP. He’s gotta man up (sorry if that’s now considered a sexist comment) and talk to her about this.
I think the only solution is you have to break up with your gf because she’s a bad dog owner and I’m assuming she’s also lacking the ability to run fast. Steal/save the dog though and put it up for adoption on letsrun. Applicant with the faster PRs gets the dog.
Is there a dog park near her? Personally, if I'm not running with my dogs, I prefer taking them to a dog park and let them run around. Walks can be boring and my dogs are more reactive/unruly when we are walking vs. running. Plus if your gf is just lazy, she can sit on a bench and play with her phone.
This is very much animal abuse. It sounds like she should not be a dog owner. This bothers me about many dog owners; they need constant exercise and at the very least walks a few times a day. I get mad at people for leaving their dogs at home for 9 hours a day while they are at work.
Did you say somewhere in that long post how the dog relieves itself?
Soln: Two collars and two leashes. One for the dog and one for her. Just put them on and out the door you go.
You might find a creative way with fake dog poop if poor little pooch isn't already laying landmines all over her home:
Are you living together? Why not get married then? I mean, you’re helping support her right?
PaysPaix wrote:
Hopefully that was cathartic. Good to get it out.
Your next move is to ask if everything's okay with her - just light/casual. Don't preface it with anything (especially not why are you being lazy watching dumb Netflix all day), and if she asks why just say you're checking in and wanted to know if there's anything you can do. Also, ask a few times if all 3 of you can take a walk. Sometimes it just takes a nudge. I've been with someone for close to 2 decades, and it's still sometimes tough to notice when she's off/depressed and how to handle it.
This is a very thoughtful and insightful response.
I'm not sure LetsRun is the right forum for you.
She needs to understand how a dog like a lab needs exercise for its mental health. I have seen some dogs-like bulldogs and shih tzus that manage on just 5-10 minutes a day, but they are rare. In the long-ago past, I had a girlfriend who didn't walk her dog and relied on pee pads. She turned out to be as self-centered as her dog treatment indicated.
Sounds like the type of person who should have a cat, but not a dog.
Girls that like dogs are a huge red flag. This is because it's how they visualize their man: neutered, obedient, on a leash.
My goal would probably be to leave the relationship and keep the dog. However, good people go through rough patches.
I have a friend that is, hands down, the most thoughtful and compassionate human being I know. He picked up smoking, got a few DWIs, but a woman saw through it, sort of forced him straight and now she's married to that true gem of a human/father. It's been smooth and happy sailing for about a decade now.
Straight 10/10 on this one.
Plenty of replies. Touched on relationships, used animals in his post. Even got a bite from Rojo.
OP has unregistered handle and hasn't been back on his own thread in over a day.
Master class in trolling right here.
OP is a Rojo troll job.
7/10