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Japanese Marathoner Takes Day Off - Coach Resigns In Shame

Nation Mourns Act (and Day) That Will Live In Infamy

By: LetsRun.com
April 1, 2009

(Izumo, Japan) - Japanese marathoning legend Initu Takashowa took a day off from running on Tuesday, sparking a chain of shameful resignations and public outrage in the land of the rising sun.

As word spread across the countryside about Takashowa's dastardly act, heads began to roll by the early evening. Sintori Takahashi, Takashowa's personal manager, was the first to assume responsibility, followed by Takashowa's parents, coach, middle school teachers, baby-sitter and ex-girlfriend.

Takashowa, when asked to explain his actions said, "I had a fever of 101. Celcius. My spleen erupted and I could not feel my legs. At the time, it seemed like a good decision to take a day off , but I now see the error of my ways. I will forever live in shame for what I have done. Falling on a sword would be preferable to my unending shame."

By Japanese rules, Takashowa will never be allowed to don his lightweight racing shoes again, and of course he and his coach will serve 25 year prison sentences in solitary confinement.

 

            
  

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