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Galloway To Take Over Army Boot Camp Conditioning Plan

By LetsRun.com. - April 1, 2007 - The US Army announced today that famed running coach Jeff Galloway will take over all boot camp training for new enlistees.  The Army was so impressed with the training Jeff did in getting thousands of overweight people to "run" the Army 10 miler that they'd expand his role with them.

"Jeff has done such a phenomenal job with the Army 10 miler that this really was a no-brainer for us. I mean 30% of the recruits we now get are obese. Jeff will certainly get them all through boot camp as there will be no standards. Just do what you can do. We no longer will have to read all of the negative articles about how we've been struggling to reach our enlistment quotas for the year as every coach potato will qualify for the Army," said General Walter Reed. "It doesn't really matter if they people will be totally incapable of fighting a war, as the American public has proven repeatedly over the last 30 years that they don't have the perservernce to actually stick a war out and win it when it gets tough."

Galloway's ideas have been so well-received in preliminary testing among the latest Army recruits that other branches of the military, including the Navy's elite Sea/Air/Land (SEAL) division, have begun to show interest. "In accordance with the recent trends in America to view pushing yourself as unhealthy, and pushing your underlings as grounds for a lawsuit, we are seriously considering a complete revamping of our training exercises," said SEAL team leader Rock Hardy. "We used to spend 15 hours a day covered in wet sand or immersed in freezing waters while doing thousands of pushups, situps and squats. The new breed of SEAL will no longer have to suffer those discomforts. Our man will be allowed a warm rinse and rest in a comfortable bed, along with a meal, after every 30 minutes of training. Since walk breaks during marathons have allowed so many average people to attain the impossible goal of finishing - and finishing in comfort, no less - just think what rest during training can do for the super-elites like the SEALs!," Hardy continued. "I'm excited. And why stop with just training? Why not apply this concept to actual war operations themselves? As an example, since we're relaxing the standards of the underwater swim requirements for our Basic Underwater Demolition (BUD) trainees and are allowing them to surface for air breaks every 10 meters, we shouldn't expect them to hold their breath during an actual operation in enemy territory, should we? No! The comfort of our men, both in training and in battle, is soon to be the prime directive of the US military. We may lose in combat, but we'll avoid the unhealthy strain of continuous, vigorous exercise."



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