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Message Boarder Found to be More Mature than a 16 Year Old Male
He even praised  John McDonnell, Mark Wetmore, and Vin Lananna, and is Productive at Work

LetsRun.com staff

April 1, 2004

In a stunning development, a 25-year old LetsRun.com message board poster, Johnny I. Noitall, has actually passed a test proving he is more mature than the average 16-year old male.

Researchers at Running Laboratories Incorporated were shocked by the revelation.  "When it was brought to our attention that Mr. Noitall might be more mature than the average 16-year old we didn't think it was possible," said one scientist who wished to remain unidentified as he didn't want his professional reputation ruined by his admission that he does indeed visit the LetsRun.com message boards.  

The scientist continued, "However, then we looked at the data and it was confirmed (that Mr. Noitall was mature). But let one thing be clear, Mr. Noitall is not typical (of letsrun.com message boarders) at all.  He posted informative messages on the message board, did not viciously attack others for no apparent reason, and even had praise for one or two individuals.  When contacted via phone he even said he wanted to contribute positively to society and did not want to tear down others for no reason.  We were shocked by the data."

It was later confirmed that Mr. Noitall actually wrotea message stating that John McDonnell, Mark Wetmore, and Vin Lananna are all good coaches. "The evidence points to them being three incredible distance coaches. They've sacrificed their lives to helping their athletes become better runners and are quite good at it, given the scores of national championships they have won," said Mr. Noitall.

Until recently, Noitall, who sports a pr of 24 minutes for 5,000 meters, lived a life similar to the average LetsRun.com poster.  Up until last month when he was fired from his job for being unproductive, Mr. Noitall was 100% obsessed with running - he stretched for 2 hours a day, did form drills for 1 hour a day, ate only powerbars, organic food, and 12 multivitamins and surfed LetsRun.com for 4 hours a day (minimum) at work while running 20 miles per week. However, after getting fired from his job, Mr. Noitall apparently changed his ways.

"My life is a lot different now, and I'm happy. But I must admit that I can't get it out of my mind  the midrift was a great invention,"  said Mr. Noitall who no longer visits LetsRun.com.

"I'm still not 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure there are things in life more important than how fast you run a 5k," added Novell, who recently set a new 5k pr of 15:15 after upping his mileage to 75 miles per week.


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