Older guys, do you wish you made more money

Financial issues can ruin couples but if you're smart about it usually this can be avoided. However I do see your point. The thing you have to remember is there has to be a balance. You're putting everything into the acquisition of comfortable money and nothing into the thing you're trying so hard to facilitate - the relationship. I'm not saying go for a bad job. I'm saying step it down a notch if possible (i.e. making surplus.) How much exactly do you make if you care to tell us?

keep working hard OP. If you ever get to a point where you're truly wealthy you can get all manner of vagina.

Right now ~$160K (part of it is bonus and I live in a major city so it doesn't go nearly as far as you would think). I know I could make less money but I just paid off all my student debt (partly why I was motivated) and I really want to save up as much money as I can. This will be the first year I can actually start saving money. The thing is if I keep doing my current job and get promoted my comp can skyrocket (I could get laid off which would suck). I would be willing to slog through a couple more years of this if I can get a couple big paydays mid 30s. I really don't think I need a vacation house or country club or all that jazz but seeing how much healthcare costs for my parents, and how much a decent house in a neighborhood you would want to send a kid to school it adds up really quick. Lets not even talk about college or if you have a kid with a disability or something like that.

The only really important thing is to match your income and hours worked with your preferred lifestyle.

There is nothing wrong with having a small house and cheap hobbies in combination with a low-stress job that doesn't pay big bucks.

Similarly, if you want the boat and horses and 2nd home then work your butt off and go get them.

The unhappy people I know are those individuals and couples who never get those things in sync.

In the loop wrote:

The only really important thing is to match your income and hours worked with your preferred lifestyle.

There is nothing wrong with having a small house and cheap hobbies in combination with a low-stress job that doesn't pay big bucks.

Similarly, if you want the boat and horses and 2nd home then work your butt off and go get them.

The unhappy people I know are those individuals and couples who never get those things in sync.

Loopy sums it up well. Guy in early 50s here. Work a govt. job. Not a ton of $ or potential for high income, but pay takes care of my needs/wants and the set of benefits seems to grow more valuable every year. What I like is the fairly low-stress nature of the job and the ability to turn it off/leave it. At this point in my career, most promotions in my field tip the hassle/stress:income ratio unfavorably.

Looking at people of similar age, I've seen too many really age or decline in health from stress/job demands/lifestyle that developed from their career choices. Being obese, hobbled from repetitive stress, or looking like you're 70 weren't worth that extra lifetime $500k-$1.5 mil, IMO.

While I would have liked/would like to make more $, I agree it's more a matter of finding your right job/lifestyle balance. My biggest regrets are not saving slightly more earlier and realizing what stupid young-adult choices (e.g. high-risk car insurance from macho driving, not living with roommates) have on your financial future.

bump! I thought this would be more popular!

I'm 42, making about $90k/year, and living in the midwest. The wife makes $60k/year, we're doing quite well. I COULD be making perhaps another $50k/year, but it would come at a huge cost -- many more hours, and much more stress. I only work about 37 hours per week now, plus I get 5 weeks vacation. Giving up vacation time and having to work more hours is a non-starter for me.

I intend to be retired by age 55, at which point I may still work part time just for the hell of it.

What I've realized as I've aged is that I can ALWAYS get more money if if I want it, what I can't get more of is time.

Maybe I just need to move (but I like living in the city), but I just can't imagine how you and your wife get by. I only pay $1,200 in rent (trust me this is about as cheap as you are going to get here), car (basically my parents need it for work so I am helping them out), student loan bills, allergy medication, cable, cell phone, gym and dinner out with a friend once a week I only save a couple hundred month. I really don't think I live an extremely extravagant lifestyle too. My apartment is modest, I don't go on vacations, I try to avoid eating out with friends and cook 70% of my meals, I joined a cheap gym, and I try to avoid cabs and expensive bar tabs. I know some of the insanely cheap people are gonna say you don't need cable or the gym but are you really going to tell people that know you have a decent job that you are too cheap to put up $60 bucks a month for cable? We haven't even talked about furnishing an apartment or any of the other 500 curveballs life throws at you (clothes, shoes, ties, plane tickets to see family, etc).

I started out in the arts and made pennies my first five years out of school. I then went to law school and have made very middle of the road money. I do wish that I had made more money, but not that much. Living in a big city and having a kid who will probably end up in private school makes things tight money wise. I would just like to be able to eat out a few more times a month and take nicer vacations. That will all come when my wife gets back in the workforce.

We are friends with a couple who have a little girl our kid's age. They are younger than we are. The husband is a new associate in an investment bank/hedge fund. The wife works for a high profile global consulting group. They have money coming out of their eyeballs. But their nanny is basically raising their kid and they have not had a vacation in almost three years. And there is no end in sight to their work load. They will probably end up being independently wealthy by the time they hit their fifties. But they are missing out on raising their child and on just being able to come home every day and have dinner together (almost never happens at their house).

I think the key is to shoot for the middle. Get a good job, but not something that takes up all your time. Live cheaply, but enjoy some nice things every now and then.

GolfAlfaRomeoYankee wrote:

Maybe I just need to move (but I like living in the city), but I just can't imagine how you and your wife get by.

This is the midwest. We have a $249k house with a $800/month mortgage on it (we put about 50% down when we bought it). That's 3300 square feet, 4 beds, 3 baths, etc. I have no other debt. I take home around $5k/month after taxes, so you can imagine with only an $800 mortgage, I'm freaking rolling in excess cash. I can easily save over $3000 a month while still paying utilities, etc, and doing everything else I want to be doing. And none of that includes my wife's salary. Hell we could easily live on her salary alone.

Yeah a quarter of a million dollar house will do that for ya. I guess my income will be a lot higher by the time I am your age (hopefully haha). Also I forget that a lot of my comp is lumpy (year end bonus which is pretty standard in accounting fields) but it almost goes entirely to student debt. Honestly if anything I regret taking on so much debt, but I guess I wouldn't have this job if I didn't go to college.

So you think making more money would mean a happier marriage?

And no fighting over money?

Time is a more valuable asset than you think.

If you keep trading your time for money you may not wind up as far ahead as you may wish.

Other posters have mentioned balance. That is the key.

You can live unbalanced for a while, but make sure you save as much money as possible so that later, when you choose to cut back on your workload, you'll already be pretty wealthy.

Oh, and I am in my mid 40's.

Didn't make crap in my mid 20's and do not regret that at all.

I am doing fine now.

My parents are still together and I grew up upper middle class and comfortable. I am 40 now and single. I don't make a lot of money but I have marketable skills. I don't have a wife or girlfriend. I run and have a healthy body. I am in better shape than most people my age. I'm in better shape than I was when I was in my 20s. I ride my bike everywhere and I eat well. I have never owned a house and I don't think I need to. My parents own a house. They're getting older and at some point they will need assistance. For now I will keep renting places but eventually I think I will move back into the house I grew up in and take care of them and the house.

I don't see anything wrong with this. It doesn't fit the popular American ideal of being independent and making one's own fortune but I'm ok with that. The popular American ideal of everyone having their own house, car, etc, has resulted in a lot of wasted resources.

You bust your butt in your 20s, then things get better ...

Find someone who has similar priorities and life will get better. My first real job required me to work 4 days of 3 - 11, with Tuesday being one of my "off" days, and worked Saturday 7A - 5P. Didn't get to see my wife much except for Tuesday evening and Sunday. She didn't like it, but was supportive. Once I had established myself and moved to real job #2, things improved.

I'm 28. Im in my fourth year of medical school, going into a competitive residency where salaries range from between 270-400K annually depending on location. I'll work 3-4 12 hour shifts a week (I'm working 5 a week now). My wife makes about 80K annually, so we'll be OK financially and have 3-4 days a week to hang out (she also will do 3-4 12 hour shifts a week) if our schedules align.

When I was young my parents saved and were strict. I had to work for other people if I wanted money, didn't get any allowance, and paid for everything by mowing lawns and washing cars. I worked often and worked hard. My mother stayed at home and my father worked up the corporate ladder and saved/invested his money. By the time i hit high school we were very well off. My last year of HS I got a great allowance for gas and entertainment (like $300.00 a month) for standard chores like mowing the lawn. I spent most of it on dates with my GF and eating out with my friends. My family ate out a few times a week, took vacations to either europe or hawaii every year, we had three cars, lived in a wealthy neighborhood, etc. At this point I thought this is what I wanted and what was expected of me.

After college i worked as a scientist and decided the work was OK but was always counting down the clock to when I could leave, and living for the weekends. I decided I had to love what I did, love my wife, and live in a place I appreciate. Quit my job, went to med school, and work all the f'ing time. Now I don't care what my vacations will be. I don't care what care I drive, and want to live in a place I don't even need one. I don't care how big my house is. I just want to be able to spend time with my wife in a place that we love, enjoy my job, run every day, and drink good beer.

This is mantra is sort of what I have embraced. I definitely like my job, it is interesting, dynamic and I got a responsibility, but sometimes I will go like 3 weeks without a day off and the only social time i get is from like 10PM to 2AM and I just get hammered at bars with people from work.

You math is off by a lot. You make 160k and these are your only expenses? ...yet you only have a few hundred left at the end of the month? You are thousand of dollars off unless I read this wrong...