DOGE Eliminates USATF & Trump Cancels All Track and Field Meets
by Tim Silva
April 1, 2025
Elon Musk and his DOGE minions yesterday claimed their latest unexpecting victim: USATF. Around midday, Musk posted on X, “I could have spent the past weekend going to the many parties to which I’m always invited by other super-popular rich people, or I could have spent it fathering many more children and giving them ridiculous names, but instead I was cutting waste, fraud and abuse in the federal government. Goodbye, USATF! You’re welcome, America.”
In a rare instance of coordinated messaging, President Trump soon thereafter posted a typically lengthy and perfectly written message on Truth Social, “Our Nation cannot be truly free—indeed, America cannot be GREAT AGAIN—unless Freedom-loving Patriots of all ages can buy and keep products such as booze, cigarettes and cigars, and ammunition and other things that EXPLODE, in any Amounts, at any Time, and use them whenever, wherever, and however they Want. It’s long past time for this nightmare USATF regime to END. I am hereby ORDERING their Office be closed, their staff be FIRED, and all their so-called ‘regulatory’ activities be ceased at ONCE.”
The USATF vs. ATF Mix-Up
It quickly became clear to astute observers, though not to MAGA-supporting members of Congress, that Trump and Musk had meant to shutter not USATF but the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (commonly known by the acronym ATF), a law enforcement agency in the U.S. Department of Justice.
Earlier this morning, when a non-Fox News reporter told Trump that USATF is not ATF, but the organization that oversees track and field, cross country, road-racing, and even competitive walking (yes, that’s still a thing), the president looked briefly stunned. “You mean, people still do those things—run and walk and jump and throw heavy things?” he replied. “Here in America? When they could drive a car or a golf cart, or get other people to do the lifting? This is the first I’m hearing of it. If it’s real, how come I never see it on TV? It makes us seem like a Third World country. What are they running from? Are they practicing to jump over fences? Of course we can’t sustain that. I say let it go.”
Within one hour, the White House announced that the president had issued an executive order canceling all organized track and field meets and related events in America, including in schools.
Ato Boldon and Max Siegel Weigh In
NBC athletics commentator Ato Boldon, a renowned sprinter from Trinidad and Tobago and US citizen, told LetsRun he wasn’t very surprised by the development. “Long gone are the days when track and field meets were essentially a venue for the Cold War, with USA-USSR meets drawing huge crowds and massive media attention,” he said. “Hell, Steve Prefontaine was on the cover of Sports Illustrated as a freshman at Oregon. Can you imagine any college athlete other than a football or basketball player being featured like that today? No way! You and I may love the sport, but let’s face it, the vast majority of Americans won’t even realize it’s gone, the same as with the Department of Education or USAID. By the way, please don’t use my name in your article, I don’t want to get deported.”
Max Siegel, CEO of USATF, seemed less concerned. “Well, it’s been quite a ride, and while I’ll somewhat miss the sport, at least I received assurances from President Musk—I mean, Trump—that I’ll still get the massive severance payment in my contract. So … see ya!”