Is it normal to fall in love with a roommate of the opposite sex?

Non-Running Relationships/Women/Men

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9 years ago 01/29/2015 3:48pm EST

re: friend zone

friend zone wrote:
I'll admit that you don't sound like a teenager. Your inexperience and self pity makes you more like a 12 year old.
One day you'll grow up. It will hurt though.

Self-pity and inexperience, huh? You're the one who seems to think I'd be devastated if I knew she was sleeping with other people even though I've already stated I know she is and am unbothered by such things and that I've slept with several different women in the time we've been living together also. Why wouldn't she be seeing men? She's single, and we agreed we wouldn't pursue each other at all when we moved in. We have no desire to pursue each other at the moment. You don't seem to even understand the difference between a lay and a potential wife. And you think I'm immature.

9 years ago 01/29/2015 3:56pm EST

re: 38 yr old

If you haven't even had physical contact, the proper term is "puppy love". So in your case, yes.

9 years ago 01/29/2015 4:00pm EST

re: hearts a mess

hearts a mess wrote:
we agreed we wouldn't pursue each other at all when we moved in.

Silly and childish. Grown ups simply don't make that kind of agreements.

9 years ago 01/29/2015 4:05pm EST

re: friend zone

friend zone wrote:
hearts a mess wrote:
we agreed we wouldn't pursue each other at all when we moved in.
Silly and childish. Grown ups simply don't make that kind of agreements.

Way too obvious, man.

9 years ago 01/29/2015 5:51pm EST

re: hearts a mess

You have a good relationship, which is good and fine.

I would just let things happen as they will.

9 years ago 01/29/2015 6:06pm EST

re: hearts a mess

yes it is normal to think you have fallen in love. Some times you actually did.

Sometimes you think you have fallen in lust. Sometimes you actually have fallen in lust.

Sometimes she thinks...

you get the idea

there is only one adult option

talk about it and. then deal with the results of the conversation

9 years ago 01/29/2015 10:18pm EST

re: hearts a mess

hearts a mess wrote:
runDirtyrun wrote:
Bingo.
Congratulations, you are her male friend. Now get out. Now.
And then seek therapy, because this kind of setup is a clue other stuff in your life has screwed you up to make it okay that she's only available as a non-sexual "friend."
You guys are both idiots. What do you think is expected when two people of the opposite sex decide to live together? Do you not expect them to have some sort of friendship? Do you really not understand that there're ways for a male to benefit from a woman besides sex? Geezus Krist. I hope you two aren't older than 20 or 21. Your perspective is so limited you aren't even able to understand the situation. Sex is not some ultimate goal, especially when you're someone who can have it frequently if desired. When you're thinking about marriage and children, there's a lot more to consider than simply "will this girl allow me access to her vagina." You guys sound like teenagers.

Great. Move out and date the girl. Do it.

Oh, wait. That's not going to happen. You have to get heartsick about it and other drama while you 'get serious' about this one.

If this one is so special then shut up and make it happen. It can't be any simpler than this situation.

Do it.

9 years ago 01/31/2015 9:16pm EST

re: pop_pop!

pop_pop! wrote:
hearts a mess wrote:
You guys are both idiots. What do you think is expected when two people of the opposite sex decide to live together? Do you not expect them to have some sort of friendship? Do you really not understand that there're ways for a male to benefit from a woman besides sex? Geezus Krist. I hope you two aren't older than 20 or 21. Your perspective is so limited you aren't even able to understand the situation. Sex is not some ultimate goal, especially when you're someone who can have it frequently if desired. When you're thinking about marriage and children, there's a lot more to consider than simply "will this girl allow me access to her vagina." You guys sound like teenagers.
Great. Move out and date the girl. Do it.
Oh, wait. That's not going to happen. You have to get heartsick about it and other drama while you 'get serious' about this one.
If this one is so special then shut up and make it happen. It can't be any simpler than this situation.
Do it.

Our lease doesn't end until the end of June. Maybe I'll think about moving out then. I like living with her more than I've enjoyed any relationship I've had though. I wouldn't mind just living with her more. She's currently the best thing in my life.

9 years ago 01/31/2015 11:33pm EST

re: hearts a mess

Our lease doesn't end until the end of June. Maybe I'll think about moving out then. I like living with her more than I've enjoyed any relationship I've had though. I wouldn't mind just living with her more. She's currently the best thing in my life

Yeah, well, you have 6 months to get your stuff together. Get busy.

Or... Oh, wait. That's not going to happen. You have to get heartsick about it and other drama while you 'get serious' about this one.

I'm guessing the latter is much more likely.

9 years ago 02/01/2015 9:40pm EST

re: pop_pop!

Ive been married to my flatmate for 7 years, and we were dating for 4 years before that. We have a 4 year old daughter .It took alchohol to get us together and it was awkward to start with as I had never even lived with a girl before (I offered to move out but the offer was rejected)

Worked out rather well

9 years ago 02/02/2015 9:35pm EST

re: hearts a mess

hearts a mess wrote:
Say you live with someone of the opposite sex and get along with them really well. Is it normal to develop really strong feelings for them over time? After living with a woman for about a year now and spending hundreds of hours together, I'm starting to have pretty strong and deep feelings for her. I honestly think I'd be happy marrying her even though we've not even had any physical contact to date (we made this rule when we moved in together). I mean, I want to marry a girl I know well but have never even held hands with? I'm really confused by it all.
Any guys or girls on here care to chime in about living with people of the opposite sex?

Sounds like you are already married to each other.

Live in the same house.... check

Don't have sex with each other.... check

Sleep with other people without asking for permission.... check

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Is it normal to fall in love with a roommate of the opposite sex?

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