Sure, redux. Whatever you say.
Sure, redux. Whatever you say.
Is everything all right here, Postal Employee Newman?
Why don't you take your three hour break?
I'll take it. What is it?
Some others...
In my mind, I'm already gone.
Here's your Christmas card.
Parking a car is as easy as putting your pants on. So my question is "Who is putting your pants on?"
DEL BOCA VISTA!
I've still got the pen, Jerry.
"Ugh. It's like a sauna in there."
Kramer, walking out of a sauna.
"land of the nocturnal dirt people", in the park looking for the van.
"I know the chunkie who left these chunkies,...NEWMAN"
The episode where Jerry's girlfriend is a massage therapist who dislikes George intensely. George keeps trying to get her to like him. Jerry asks him why and he says " A woman who hates me this much comes along once in a lifetime".
Another George classic: He's having sex with his secretary in the office and he blurts out "I'm giving you a raise".
Helllooooo
Kramer:
When they pull that needle out, I let the expletives fly.
His wife is in a coma.
When George's dad sits on the little Jerry made from fusili pasta by Kramer and gets it wedged up his butt....
"a million to one shot doc, a million to one"
Lots of great quotes, but this is my favorite because it applies to my job.
Cosmo Kramer:
You know you're not supposed to brush your teeth for 24 hours before you go to the dentist.
Jerry:
I think you're thinking of 'You're not supposed to eat 24 hours before surgery'.
Cosmo Kramer:
Oh, you gotta eat before surgery. You need your strength.
Lately it has been
"I'm not driving him to the airport" in a whiny voice.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking... I highly suggest you try it.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking... I highly suggest you try it.
Oh it's past the statue of limitations.
The seas were angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.
My name is H.E. Pennypacker, I'm a wealthy industrialist, philanthropist and uhh... bicyclist.
She's bald!
Yada yada yada
A woman from Sweden, a man from Kenya, and 20,000 losers.
"It's a Junior Mint!"
or a anything from the Non-Fat yogurt. I have that whole episode memorized.