Quitting drinking

I am not single but my SO still drinks, which creates a whole other sort of issue.

Anyway, social occasions where alcohol is prominent (bars, breweries, etc.) are a lot harder than I expected, even at 16 months. I finally realized that what I am feeling isn't temptation ... it's frustration with not being able to drink due to the commitment I made to myself.

So I reframed it. I am on their turf, willingly. So it is up to me to figure out how to have fun and be fun even if I am not drinking. And if I am not in the mood to do that, smile and largely keep my mouth shut.

If I was single, I would turn the not drinking into a superpower where I just smiled and listened. Whichever girl you are talking with will think you're amazing by the end of a conversation where you barely said 10 words ... but clearly listened.

Good luck!

16 months

I'm having another go at this.

Going to be hard but let's go.

Bored of it all now. Two friends have given up, if they can I can

Well done!!

I laid down on the street tonight

Not great

Keep it up - that's great!

I'm down to 5 pints a week. That's pretty great? Right?

Almost counts

There are no old alcoholics.

Remember this.

Lemmy Kilmister? Don't worry I have a couple at the weekend and don't think about it during the week.

I will give up completely though

And 47 today. Another trip around the sun without booze. And much like my post above, b-day wishes from my kids and a dinner with my wife, although this time we're going out.

In the past year I've had time to reflect on what really made the difference early on when sobriety was extremely tough. And like most things in life, it was a combination of things. That combination is also different for everyone. So if anyone is looking for advice if they're thinking about getting sober, or are having a hard time staying sober, it's to keep trying. But the key would be to try something different if it's not working. Different people around you, different programs, a different distraction (running will always be one for me). But it can definitely get frustrating and that sense of failure can creep in when it doesn't work. All I can say is that's completely understandable and normal. Just don't let that stop you from giving it another shot, no matter how frustrated you are with yourself that you've put yourself in that position, either once again or for the first time.

One other thought on this. There's an adage with running that if you're training right, it never gets easier, you just get faster. Well, with sobriety, thankfully, that's absolutely not the case. Done properly, sobriety DOES get easier the more you practice it. And very directly, life gets easier. The key being, just like running, you at least have to put the time in.

Keep going everyone.

Spent most of my 20s and early 30s drinking. I was the kind of guy who could go all week without having a drink, but then the weekend hits and I would go crazy. And here in NYC, when the buzz starts to wear off, it's easy to get ahold of the devil's powder to keep the party going.

Stopped a little more than 3 years ago. Never went to a meeting, just realized it was hurting my life. Best decision I ever made. If you want to stop, you can do it. Day by day...just like running

Grass is always greener, but I think being single makes it easier. Go out and see your friends, and then make the Irish exit once you get bored. Go watch a movie or call another friend or go to the gym. Anything.

I barely drank in college due to running, and kept that going after college as I trained for the OT qualifier. I remember it being rather easy to avoid drinking. I would meet up with people and have an iced tea without ice. Most people thought it was beer, and that just kept the questions at bay. My friends knew I wasn't drinking, but it was less awkward to have something resembling a beer than for everyone I met to ask why I wasn't drinking. After a couple of hours I would just leave. No goodbyes or anything. Most of my buddies would stay out until 3am and do coke and be wrecked until Wednesday, but I would get up in the AM and put in the miles.

I got married young, and my wife really didn't care if I drank or not. As I got into my thirties, I started drinking more with the proliferation of the craft beer movement. Nothing troubling, but I just started enjoying it more. Then I started drinking wine with my wife and that became a thing we did together after the kids were in bed. Or we got a sitter and went to wine tastings with friends. Much harder to enjoy the events that are actually centered on the alcohol when you're not drinking. COVID did not help, as this only became more common. Instead of once a week, we'd do this every other night or something. Not a lot, but it was still frequent consumption. I didn't have a "problem," but over the last year I have been wanting to really cut it back. I found it was hard to say "no" when my wife is like, "Do you want to grab a glass of wine tonight after work" at 4:30 and it's been a long, stressful day at the office.

But then she decided to focus on improving her gut health or some other thing her expensive homeopathic doctor friend told her, so she stopped drinking. It's been a lot easier. I miss our wine dates, but we've been taking walks and getting frozen yogurt instead. It sounds stupid, but it actually reminds me of being younger. It is a LOT easier when you don't have someone else asking if you want a drink.

I have not stopped drinking forever, but being away from it is nice.

I'm a millennial who never started drinking in the first place. I don't like the taste. Peer pressure has also never been an issue for me. There's plenty of things to do other than go to a bar.

Alternatively if you like alcohol then carry on drinking in moderation. No point quitting completely if it's something you enjoy. Follow your own lead.

3 months.

I'm about 8 weeks in after a few attempts to stop over the last couple of years. I'd stop and would go for a couple, maybe 3 weeks without a drink and then would find a reason to drink again. Luckily, each time the following period was a strong reminder of why I was trying to stop, increased anxiety, running performance and enjoyment badly affected etc. and each time kind of gave me more motivation to not drink.

I'd been drinking daily for around ~15 years, mostly just one beer a day (500ml here) but this developed to 2, 3, 4 beers the last few years. Prior to that I would drink twice a week, but then 4 or 5 each time. Started to affect the relationship with my wife - I was always emotionally unavailable and definitely impacted my running. Back in 2020 I was averaging ~65 miles a week, seemingly running well, competing well in local races and a few ultras and feeling super fit. Then over the space of a couple of months early 2021 basically burnt out, or overtrained, or both. I can remember explicitly the first interval session where I just didn't want to do it any more and that hit me like a ton of bricks, like - this is the thing I enjoy the most and poof, it was gone. The last few years have been a struggle to keep running (or cycling) but I never stopped completely but also never stopped drinking completely.

Its taken almost 4 years to really realise that alcohol was likely the main reason behind my problems after looking for almost any other reason and visiting loads of doctors to try and work out why my performance and enjoyment was gone - not once was alcohol mentioned or asked about and I was seemingly blind myself that it was an issue. Anyway, after four years of this, I finally started to acknowledge the real problem, got diagnosed with a fatty liver (which was also a pretty good motivator to stop) and made the commitment to stop. This year, I first worked my way back into cycling, doing several centuries at a decent pace and for the last couple of months getting back more to running and just last week, clocked 40 miles and did my first interval session after easy running to build at least some base.

The good news is that I am enjoying it again. I seem to be lucky to have been able to build back pretty quickly, seemingly the base of the last 20 years is kind of still there and have started to think about goals again. I'm over 50 now, but want to be competing strongly within my age group and it doesn't seem that out of reach. The bad news is I'm pretty depressed (especially in the mornings?) probably because all the 'benefits' of drinking have gone (decreased loneliness, boredom, company, even if temporary) but gotta cling to the idea that that will also improve over time. Anxiety is there, but it feels different, kind of more in control. Cravings still come, but they are slowly reducing.

Anyway, brain dump, but it looks like things may be doable this time round. Another reminder for anyone else with similar patterns that its never too late to try again. Even after many failures to stop, the more inertia you can build towards stopping the better. Once you start to see real benefits of stopping it becomes pretty good motivation to stay away from alcohol. From what I see and read, things really start to change after six months, so more motivation to keep on.

been quit 35 years. as for socializing all my "friends" my good time buddies fell away. No longer any shared interests. And they were the ones who fell away, not me leaving.

I'll bet many of you don't even know anyone who doesn't drink.

Let the dead bury the dead.

Reason I said you may not know anyone who doesn't drink, I know I didn't before I quit.

My story is very, very similar (and we're about the same age.) After nearly 17 months sober, I will just repeat something I have said on this thread a few times: The positive effects are just like running. You notice some cool benchmarks along the way, but the real impact comes when you wake up one day and realize that you hit a whole other level of operating.

That's when it's really worth it.

So keep it up. We're rooting for you!

Depends on your definition of alcoholic (which I'm sure is a moving goalpost for you to prove your point). For the over 100 years old, how would you define it for them?

Personally, my grandma in law had 2 drinks a day up until she died at 101. Sharp AF to the end.

Juan Vicente Pérez? Jeanne Calment? They loved their alcohol.