My 29 year old son says he wants to quit though I don't know if he's serious yet. He has lost 2 jobs in the past year and did not finish college though he is plenty smart---I believe that these situations were all alcohol related. Any general advice on how I can help him?
Having read every page and post of this thread, I am greatly inspired by what all of you have written here and how you are sending such positive vibes of encouragement to each other. Thank you.
I don’t get any of this. If you put your running first, then it’s easy to not drink too much. I’m in my 40’s, married with 3 kids and I want to drink everyday! Running is the only thing that keeps me from doing this, but life would be a lot more fun if I could.
As Rojo said about coaching the other day: "You can't want it more than they do" and I think that is the case with your son. I know any concerns put to me down through the years I always thought well I haven't done this or haven't done that or he/she drinks more than me etc.
In self reflection is the only way I have managed a good stint here. Running 110% helps and the goal setting around it. Day 237.
238. 34 weeks down.
Anon83 wrote:
My 29 year old son says he wants to quit though I don't know if he's serious yet. He has lost 2 jobs in the past year and did not finish college though he is plenty smart---I believe that these situations were all alcohol related. Any general advice on how I can help him?
Having read every page and post of this thread, I am greatly inspired by what all of you have written here and how you are sending such positive vibes of encouragement to each other. Thank you.
I've had a lot of experience around people that are struggling with alcohol. Obviously that includes me, but my advice is only somewhat related to my anecdotal situation. Meaning, experiments of one should always be viewed as just that.
But I've seen over the years now countless people at all stages of the process. I've read the relevant literature both from a psychological/emotional perspective as well as physiological (I'm a science nerd at heart) about what gives someone the best odds of maintaining sobriety. And if there's one common thread that appears with everyone, and I mean everyone, that's achieved success at deciding to quit and staying sober, is that they themselves want it more than anyone else wants it for them.
Having watched a parent lose a child (my sister) to alcohol I have a pretty good idea of how much you want that for your child. I don't think it's hyperbole to say you want it more than anything else you've desired in your life. But that desire can't be transferred by you. It also can't be transferred by a counselor, a doctor, or even a community. All those people can do is provide support to offer help when that person makes that decision.
I know that's not the answer you'd prefer to hear. But I'm also not willing to tell you anything other than what I believe to be the truth about the disease. Offering that support is the best you can do. And at what point does that support cross the line to enablement? That's one question I think only a professional can help you answer. But it's an important one. Because your mental and physical well-being matter too.
So keep trying to do what you can, but maintain expectations with what you or anyone else in your son's orbit can do as long as he's not truly ready to make a change.
Keep going everyone.
Not enough wrote:
I don’t get any of this.
That's because you're not a alcoholic.
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Thanksgiving dinner down. 242.
Made it through Thanksgiving. 32 weeks.
Rooting for You wrote:
Made it through Thanksgiving. 32 weeks.
mad props to all of you. recognizing you have a problem is brutally hard and doing something about it is admirable. hope to see this at 480 days next year at this time.
Well done Rooting for you and thanks Just another day. Definitely a challenging few weeks ahead. 243.
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245. 35 weeks down.
Love seeing this thread bummped every day knowing its just you keeping on keeping on. Hell yea man
Thanks man. 246.
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Yes - please keep on keepin on with this thread even if no one responds for a week or so. It is meaningful.
Tomorrow is 4 years 10 months . One day at a time, dont look past today.