Quitting drinking

agip wrote:

-0.xxab*1 wrote:

What, no insane anti-liberal rant?

take it somewhere else, wouldja?

it's a valid question. i predict you'll see fewer of those if he stays sober. something about frequent drunkenness that unleashes the id.

i also predict he won't stay sober.

I'd like to add that I only drank at home. I never drank when out with friends or my wife because I was extremely paranoid about driving, even after one drink. Because I knew I couldn't have just one anyways (one wasn't enough), my drinking was done "safely" at home. When I started to feel guilt and shame for my drinking, I knew I had to quit. I

I only drink socially so I really have no reason to be an absolutist regarding alcohol (or much of anything really). I can have a glass of wine or a beer here or there, or on occasion really go at it. However I can then go weeks on end without touching so much as a beer.

I feel sorry for those that can't control themselves. It seems odd that distance runners, some of the most self disciplined people in sport, can be so "all or none" when it comes to drink and food.

[It seems odd that distance runners, some of the most self disciplined people in sport, can be so "all or none" when it comes to drink and food.]

I've found it to be the opposite, especially amongst the more competitive runners. This an all-or-nothing compulsion that leads to success can also be a great detriment. We used to say "anything worth doing is worth doing excessively".

Dried out wrote:

[It seems odd that distance runners, some of the most self disciplined people in sport, can be so "all or none" when it comes to drink and food.]

I've found it to be the opposite, especially amongst the more competitive runners. This an all-or-nothing compulsion that leads to success can also be a great detriment. We used to say "anything worth doing is worth doing excessively".

I see it another way - most runners have the 'if the furnace is hot enough anything will burn' mentality - that if we run 50 mpw or whatever, we can eat and drink whatever we want.

And that is true much of the time.

Dried out wrote:

[It seems odd that distance runners, some of the most self disciplined people in sport, can be so "all or none" when it comes to drink and food.]

I've found it to be the opposite, especially amongst the more competitive runners. This an all-or-nothing compulsion that leads to success can also be a great detriment. We used to say "anything worth doing is worth doing excessively".

This describes me pretty well. When I do something, I'm usually all in or all out. My mind tends to think "if a little of this is good, a lot must be better." I had that problem with booze, I have it with running to some extent, as well as my diet.

I met with a therapist for a while due to some pretty strong anxiety, and he quickly noted that I have a very addictive personality. I suspect many distance runners do as well?

i have seen several of these type threads over the years and have started a couple. i have gone through periods of abstinence and excess many times, starting 30 yrs ago when i caused an auto accident drunk and got away with it. thankfully no one was hurt.

totally quit for several months after that...but then gradually back. no one thought i had a problem but me.

20s and 30s: running mostly protected me. my desire to train and race keep the drinking controllable. then i got hurt.

fast forward to 40s...arthritis, can't run. tried to stay fit, but gradually gave it up because i had no passion for fitness, only competition.

i am now 50s, good job that i like, beautiful wife, kids, the whole thing. we have our stresses but it really is a great life. yet i drink more than ever. more secret drinking. more unproductive days due to hangovers. i feel myself getting old fast.

i was a bachelor until late 30s and i miss the freedom...even though i would never go back. now my time is no longer my own, and i think part of my drinking...maybe most of it...is to escape back to days when i only had to worry about myself.

anyway. i have been sober 3 days.

A few quick follow-up thoughts--

RE: Do you need to have a cataclysmic event in order to decide "enough is enough"?

I did, because I'd told myself for years that "someday" I'd quit (or at least cut back). But for my spectacular flameout (collapsing from dehydration, loaded into ambulance, in front of some very good friends) I don't know when or if "someday" would've come.

RE: Out with guy friends.

I worried about that, too. But it really hasn't been an issue. If your relationship with them is predicated that much on alcohol, I guess you gotta ask yourself just how deep or important that relationship is.

RE: Someone offers you a drink.

With people I knew but wouldn't consider my closest friends, I'd just say, "Nah...I'm taking a break." With close friends, I said, "It had become a problem, so I'm not drinking right now." Your close friends, at least those who don't have their own issues with booze, will probably be happy for you, since chances are they've been concerned about you.

The thing is, too, is that if you've got a problem, you think it's normal to be drinking pretty much all the time. Most people don't even think one way or the other about who's drinking and who isn't...

I want to thank everyone who's contributed to this thread. Best to all.

For those who aren't sure what to say to decline a drink, we all have an automatic excuse:

Nah - big workout in the morning.

Who is going to give you a hard time for that one?

zzlzzlzlzlzl wrote:

Oh, and being sober at 8pm on a Friday or Saturday isn\\\'t thrilling. What do I have to look forward to all week!?

I\\\'m with you on this. The daily grind of kids\\\' activities, marriage, mortgage, work is, to be honest, exceedingly dull and not stimulating at all. At least we can look forward to a good buzz. I could get on without it, but can\\\'t imagine why I would want to. Is it bad for my health overall? It depends. As a whole it\\\'s hard to say.

Hello all, OP here.Thank you so much for your posts. I hadn't come here for almost a week and I have found this extremely valuable.I am now on day 8.It has been a roller-coaster ride so far. I may be feeling great, in control (actually not even thinking about drinking) and suddenly I get a huge craving. I seem to have 2-5 of these craving peaks in the day, mostly after lunch.The sleep I get is good, solid, uninterrupted, unlike before. But I lie in bed for over one hour every night before I manage to fall asleep (despite having upped my mileage and running doubles most days - I am exhausted at night). And then I wake up very early in the morning even though I could do with more sleep.Two days ago, having met an ex-girlfriend whom I thought I could get together with again and hearing a "no", I thought "That's it. Who cares? I'll just go home and drink myself stupid."Fortunately I didn't leave and we spent a nice evening together, as friends. I came home late and all the shops were closed so that was it. But it made me realise how little power I currently manage to harness. I was ready to drink because someone said "no".I think that's because I am far too isolated, too lonely, and placed my hopes on one person only.The hands are not shaking as much as they were a week ago.I am eating well.I can't see much of a difference in my running but probably because of the extra miles I am doing. Well, not entirely true. I am enjoying my runs without the hangovers and that "empty" feeling in the legs is gone. They are heavy but not empty.

here we go wrote:

For those who have quit cold turkey, what do you say when you're out & someone hands you a beer, or someone asks why you aren't drinking? I know it's only a matter of time before this happens to me.

A couple of years ago I stopped for one year. I told people I had a friend who had a problem with drinking and was trying to stop for a year. And that out of solidarity I told him I would do the same.

It may be lame but people believed me. Some said I was missing out, that I could drink and my friend wouldn't know, but I stuck with it and it did the trick.

b;acl wrote:

For those who aren't sure what to say to decline a drink, we all have an automatic excuse:

Nah - big workout in the morning.

Who is going to give you a hard time for that one?

Another good response if you want to avoid peer pressure just say:

"Can't. Doctor's orders."

Then move on and they will glad that you didn't bore them with medical details.

Like many on this thread I have completely given up drinking and it was probably the best decision I have ever made.

In high school I drank a little without issue, but in college and early twenties I picked up the pace on drinking more often and getting more drunk. Toward my late 20's I noticed that hangovers got worse both physically and emotionally. Even on lighter nights of drinking (like 5 or 6 beers) I had this emotionally shaky borderline depressed feel the next day.

I was not the type drinking every day/waking up drinking vodka but but on the heavier days/nights a few time a week once I got started there was no stopping me. It also felt like there was no stopping the stupid drunken behavior. For example, I remember one winter night when my friend and I got turned away by a strip club bouncer for wearing boots. We resorted to walking about fifty feet up the street where while taunting the bouncer with insults we fired many snowballs at us until he finally charged us full speed. Somehow it did not end worse than it did.

In any case the final straw (after many many ones) was December 22, 2007. The economy was just starting to tank, I had just bought a new house with what was then a hefty mortgage to cover, and I had not done any Christmas shopping due to going out most nights in December. My last chance was getting out of work early on Dec 22 to do some last minute shopping.

Instead at lunch I had about 6 pints and a few shots at lunch with co-workers. Returning to the office we knocked back a few six packs from the deli downstairs. Me and one of my co-workers then walked around the corner to a strip club and started doing shots of tequila + more beer. Somehow after I think 2 bottles of champagne I remember standing in front of my fridge around 6AM downing orange juice and eating cold pizza that I must have gotten along the way (somewhere on the way home there was a fuzzy run in with the cops after argument with a taxi driver).

At that moment in front of the fridge with my head pounding/too much money spent/too many time coming home late and arguing with my then girlfriend I got almost giddy. The reason was somehow I knew for a fact that this was finally it and I would NEVER feel like that again. And I KNEW that I would never feel like that again because I would never have another drink.

So in the past 8+ years I have stuck to this and have gotten back into running, set PRS for the 1st time since age 20, found a new girlfriend, gotten married and now have 2 kids under 2.

The first few days after quitting was not hard (as I had laid off before for a few days or a week or 2 tops) but the hardest for me was the following few weeks where I could have slipped back into it. These days there are some urges here and there to start pounding beers but not so strong that I can't ignore them. Most family and friends know by now and understand and don't bother offering me anything to drink. If a new person offers I just say politely but firmly "those days are behind me" and most people get the message.

My father for some reason from time to time asks me if I just want a taste of a wine or beer. Genetically, the problem drinking genes somehow missed him so he does not understand the pull that alcohol has on me (although he had many uncles/relatives that are long since dead who tore up PA coal mining towns with their drunken antics 50 to 100 years ago).

This post took an interesting turn.

I drink 40+ drinks each week, have done so for years. Feel great in the morning, great afternoons, and never hungover. Maybe it's regularity. But I do take a month each year off drinking to cleanse the liver. 6' 175 lbs. If drinking affects the people around you, then stop. Simple. If it affects your running, drink less, but life is all about moderation people. But I'd rather take the dark alleys where rats crawl over trash to feed me sweet capfuls of Guinness.

I noticed my interest in drinking intensifies when work pressures are getting to me. I come home and can't wait to pour a glass of wine. Then I want another, and another.......

When work is going well, I can forget to have a glass of wine. Or if I do have one, I don't need another.

This makes me think that if my life sucked, I'd have a drinking problem.

bump

Struggling here. Almost drank today. Dreading Sunday..

trying again wrote:

Struggling here. Almost drank today. Dreading Sunday..

Hang tough man. You can do this. We're pulling for you.