The Poultry Strangler wrote:
When all I know about a person is that he or she is vegan, based on my experience, the probability that the following things also apply rise by anywhere from 35% to 1,200%:
Obviously you are trying to be funny (key word: trying), and sure, some of what you wrote is slightly true in some cases, but let me address a couple pointsn (and no, I am not a vegan) -
"--> He or she is gluten-free/HFCS-free/cage-free and therefore a fad-following lemming"
The high majority of people that I know or read about who are going "gluten free or HFCS free" are paleo type folks who are DEFINITELY NOT vegan. And many are also the "grass fed" beef types (not sure about "cage free" eggs(. So.....these types maybe "fad followers", but usually not vegan, very often big time meat eaters. You had that one a bit backwards. (in fact, you messed up : a vegan, by definition, can't be "cage free", unless they consider a greenhouse a cage)
"
--> He or she spends more than he or she can reasonably afford on supplements that do absolutely nothing but enrich scammers in the nutriceutical industry"
I don't think vegans are more likely to eat supplements over non-vegans. Other than a multi-vitamin with sufficient B-12 and iron, there isn't usually a reason for a vegan to go with supplements more than a non-vegan. Most meat-head (pun intended) non-vegan weight lifting guys are the ones most assuredly on some sort of supplement. Vegans are often the types not to trust something that comes in a powder. So again, you're probably wrong here.
"--> He or she distorts the facts of nutritional science, be it intentionally or out of ignorance"
Yes, I've seen vegans do this. But no more than other "special diet" types (see: Paleo, Atkins, etc). In fact, I would say the non-vegans do it more. Most people who are REALLY INTO THEIR DIET AND MUST TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME IT IS AND HOW IT HAS CHANGED THEIR LIVES IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE often do this "distorting of nutrition science" you speak of. But again, vegans no more than non-vegans.
"--> He or she is insufferable to listen to, spend time around or otherwise engage with in any way"
Some are, I agree. But you also just described your average paleo-X-Fitter. Definitely not vegans.
The rest of what you wrote is kinda silly, but whatever.
As far as being "unattractive," I've met some hot vegan women. You might want to re-think that.