Worst running time lie?

Did you kick him in the nads?

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??????????? wrote:

I can tell that some people dont beleive me sometimes when I tell them my PR's. And it pisses me off when they find out its the truth and credit it to "talent". The only talent I have is my ambition to do what it takes. I didnt wake up one day and find that I can run a sub 16 5K. I had to work my ass off (literally) to get there.

To me, thats the worst lie - giving the credit to talent.

I'm not gonna comment on the fact that you literally worked your ass off. Already done. But...it does take talent to run the 5k in under 16. Maybe you aren't LOADED with talent and I'm sure you worked your ass off to get there, but there are plenty of people who could never run a 5k that fast even if they trained as hard as you.

Oh and I have a story:

At a place I used to work this chick overhears me talking about track and she says her boyfriend ran track at the local high school (I was in college and was not familiar with the local high school). I asked her what event he did and she said he was a triple jumper.

I said I dabbled in the triple for my college team from time to time (47-2 PR) and asked how far he jumped. She "couldn't remember" how far he jumped but she was fairly certain that it was a World Record. I politely explained that he could make a load of money as a professional track athlete if he was the WR holder in the triple jump but she played it down and said something to the effect of "Oh well he doesn't do it anymore. I'm sure he couldnt jump that far now."

I'm willing to bet you are a disgruntled current or former UW runner who has never even come close to having a resume range like this: 1:48 800, 3:44 1500, 13:42 5k, 22:43 8k, NCAA Div 3 800m champ and record 1985 1:49.30, US 8k Champ, winner of 1989 Bellin 10k 29:27, winner of 1989 Fifth Season 8k 23:01, winner of 1989 Belmar 8k, winner of 1990 US Northwest Natural Gas US 8k Championship 22:43... all the way through Madison Marathon 1998 champ and 2004 Crazy Legs 8k champ 24:56- plus being competetive at Bellin 10k 2004- with the leaders through 5k in 15:06 followed by a 4:20 4th mile and hanging on, at age 39, for a 30:37 10k. Before you spout garbage, just try a simple google search. Make yourself known and I'll race you over any distance, any time. I'd be willing to bet that you were 4th at the steeple chase in the olympic trials last time or that you won the US CC Club Nationals in 2005. Whoever you are, you are pathetic. Stop calling me. I'm not interested in your insignificant life.

Talked to a recruit who had sent me info last night. She said she ran 3 miles in 17 minutes. I thought she could help our program, but she sounded a little suspicious, so I asked for her coaches phone number.

Coach said she ran 27 minutes for 3 miles. On her defense, she has only run one season and probably doesn't understand times, but she should also figure things out before showing interest in college running.

My investigation reveals Mr. Harn is calling out either Matt Tegenkamp or Isaih Festa.

That's all it takes- a phone call, a google search, a simple request for written confirmation. Good job. But you never know, until you, personally, evaluate a prospect, if they're going to be the runner you want or need. I don't know about you, but I get a kick out of some morons. Their hearts really are in the right place and they are totally ignorant about their ignorance.

This one time, at band camp, I did my first triathlon and didn't know until the end that I'd only done 1/2 of the swim. I thought I'd done a mile swim, a 55 mile bike ride, and a 20k, only to find out afterwards- UGH! I'd had no idea. I still feel terrible. Of course I disqualified myself. Until I was comparing notes with other finishers I thought I'd done rather well.

Both of them at the same time running a relay of any distance they choose. I pick the date.

redmeansdead wrote:

I'm not gonna comment on the fact that you literally worked your ass off. Already done. But...it does take talent to run the 5k in under 16. Maybe you aren't LOADED with talent and I'm sure you worked your ass off to get there, but there are plenty of people who could never run a 5k that fast even if they trained as hard as you.

No, c*********, it takes pure DRIVE and hard work... not talent.

I'd even be willing to run backwards. All the better to see the looks on their faces.

Do you want to know what's really funny? I don't even know who Tegenkamp is. I don't think I'd recognize him if you pointed him out to me. I've been running in this town for 20 years. Do you think I can keep track of every talent-less wannabe that's gone through the UW? The only way those guys get their mugs into the paper or onto the TV is when they get arrested.

LOL...

Matt Tegenkamp is the UW school record holder for 5k (13:30.90) and a several-time all-american in both 3k-5k indoors, 5k outdoors, and XC.

http://www.mensracing.com/athletes/interviews/matttegenkamp02.html

me and my watch wrote:

Do you want to know what's really funny? I don't even know who Tegenkamp is. I don't think I'd recognize him if you pointed him out to me. I've been running in this town for 20 years. Do you think I can keep track of every talent-less wannabe that's gone through the UW? The only way those guys get their mugs into the paper or onto the TV is when they get arrested.

Max Harn, please CHILL-OUT.

Here's a question for you, madam court reporter: why are these guys' lives so insignificant that they think it's funny to pick on me? When I won my races I had no delusions about what I'd done. Last time I checked, me, tegenkamp, festa, thull, and groose had the same amount of olympic medals. We'd made the same olympic teams. The difference between us is that when I win, I call people I care about. But when they win, they call me. Wait a second. Does that mean they secretly admire me but can't bring themselves to admit it, thus allowing their homo-erotic emotions to manifest through late-night drunk-dialing? Very interesting. Now they want me to chill-out, not realizing the humor and sarcasm in my responses. Tell them I get a total kick out of adulation. They can worship me if they want to. I'm flattered. But wait a second. Who is this tegankamp guy? Apparently he thinks he's a good runner, or something. I don't remember him ever beating me, though- and I'm 41 years old. Where was he in 1989? Only about 4 years old? That's a pretty lame excuse for not beating me at Belmar. If he plays the "age" card, I get to play it too. And when he gets to be 41 let's see if he can still run. Same to the other jokers. Last time I checked there weren't any masters from the UW that are even close to competetive- there aren't even any post-collegiates who can run with me- not since some of the greats from the 70s and 60s, anyway. So, madam court reporter, how about you and your girlfriends do some digging and tell us how many class of 1986 UW runners are still out there? While you're at it, I'd love to see a list of big 10 and WSUC runners still competetive. There's me and Held (who beats me about half the time) and who else? Arnie Schraeder is still tough. Who else? Do you really think Tegenkamp can run with Held or Schraeder or even pace me in a 1500?

is this a joke? It is a pretty good one if it is. And who si the Max Hern or whatever? I have never heard of him.

me and my watch wrote:

Do you really think Tegenkamp can run with Held or Schraeder or even pace me in a 1500?

Dan OHearn was a guy I ran the mile relay with. Good guy. The rest of this is only part joke: I am for real, the other guys are jokers. They really, really do call me in the middle of the night with nothing better to do while they try to sober up or get drunker wondering why they were even created, unable to reconcile their inability to excel with their inability to simply stop. Drinking to drown their sorrows only seems to hasten their depression, and they find themselves calling me again. Ultimately they find themselves called into their coach's office for stern warnings about the dangers of drunk dialing- and drunk letsrun posting. Sometimes they wake from their stupor to realize that what had been a nightmare is reality, that they are running lazily on an arboretum trail with their minds on their next beer- and then I pass them with a "hey girls" and a brief wave. In worse dreams they find themselves chasing me around the 3/4 loop, only to be chased, themselves, by flies bigger than their heads. They chase, try to keep up... and I lap them, continually, until they either collapse, or get pulled off the trail by their quite-noble Coach, their Coach who actually has beaten me, and beaten me soundly, easily, totally demoralizing me- even now, the memory of that fateful loss has me chilled. Chilled. But I know that in a few minutes I'll do a lap around the arb and be able to lap one of the jokers. Says I.

I'm pretty sure you are Matt Groose. Hi Matt. Happy New Year right back to you.

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