The Steak and Lube post has been around for a decade and has been a meme here ever since. It's pretty funny.
The Steak and Lube post has been around for a decade and has been a meme here ever since. It's pretty funny.
September 20
Wednesday
7 hours of broken rest last night
168 pounds
- 6 miles on the high school track, extremely slow and untimed.
Bright sun, 85 F., humid, probably the slowest run of my life: maybe 14:00 mile pace if it is even possible for a human being to run that slowly.
Haven’t gotten good sleep at night recently; maybe that is part of the problem. Also my bad back doesn't help.
Another possibility is that I have an undiagnosed fatal disease that is laying waste to all the mitochondria in the cells of my body. That would explain the facts of today's run. But I suspect more mundane causes are to blame.
*Oops, meant to write September 27, not September 20.
Coyote Montane wrote:
The Steak and Lube post has been around for a decade and has been a meme here ever since. It's pretty funny.
I've never experienced anything that bad, but long ago I did have a very embarrassing moment of that sort. I was running a 30K race that started unusually late (10 or 11 am) and I didn't know what or how much to eat before the race--normally I never eat before races but I thought I should in this case given the distance and the late start. Mistake. By about halfway I started feeling uncomfortable and by 20K I really had to go. These were the days when races had very few porta-potties on the course, and we were in a city with some grass and trees but no bushes where I could quickly step off the course and hide to do my business. I was running among the top 5 women and in position to win a little money, so I really didn't want to go far off the course in search of a bathroom.
While running along consternating about what to do, it suddenly just happened. I was mortified but didn't know what to do except keep running, with poop dripping down my legs. After a while I realized that because it was raining almost everyone had splashes of mud on their legs, so maybe my condition wasn't so obvious. Anyway, I just kept running (feeling much better, I must say!) and finished the race with a good time.
So now I had to get back in my car and drive 3+ hours home. I had some warm clothes in my car but nothing to clean myself up with. I finally found a sympathetic volunteer who got out a garden hose and hosed me down thoroughly. Grateful, I got in the car and drove home, none the worse for wear.
Rob DeCastella had a similar problem during the 82 Commonwealth Games Marathon Amkelly. He went on to achieve a memorable victory over Juma Ikangaa in 2.09 on a hilly course on a hot day.
Continuing this scatological detour, I found myself pondering the prospect of "going on the go" during the half marathon in April. It was an urban race, and incredibly no port-a-johns anywhere on the course. Fortunately, we wound through a cemetery at 6 miles, and I found some cover.
Looking back over my logs (no pun intended), I see this has been a perpetual problem. My first marathon, back in 1981, included a stop at 20 miles. A month later, another stop at half-way. That may have cost a BQ -- I ran 2:52, and lost more than two minutes because I had to wait for the only toilet.
My notes from a 1999 marathon: "includes 3-minute toilet stop." As I recall, I had to wait in line there, too. Finishing time was 3:12 ... might have been sub-3:10 without the stop. From 2003 half marathon notes: "1:22:47 -- 1:02:07 @ 10mi -- dump @ 10.6."
And at last year's marathon, another port-a-john stop at 7 miles. I didn't time the stop itself, but I had been running 7:52 pace, and that mile was 9:10.
So this year I have kept careful notes on my eating schedules before long runs, and whether or not I have had to stop en route. No clear conclusions, though. But I think an early dinner will help.
Meanwhile, I just took a look at the forecast for this weekend's marathon. 60℉, mostly sunny, 90% humidity, light winds. Not too bad.
oldhamdog wrote:
I ran/walked or just walked the past 2 weeks. I was feeling rundown again. I don't know how people in the southern states handle the heat. mid 80's are tough for me to handle.
I volunteer at the Twin Cities Marathon. I'm glad it wasn't today. Looks like better temperatures next Sunday.
It was 90* last Sunday here in Minneapolis. YIKES.
This Sunday for the Marathon we are looking at 63* and rain.
I think it was a couple years back that Twin Cities moved the marathon out a week (or 2) because of several years of above average temps.
The route goes right in front of my house near mile 11.
Best wishes for anybody running.
I ran Twin Cities in 2006, the humidity was high. Backed off my pace to 1:28 for the half which was well under my conditioning at the time and I was still forced to start walking at 16 miles. My entire body was covered in a sheet of perspiration, and would not cool. I finished the race with multiple walking sections in 3:25. That was my last marathon. I live in the mountain states and that humidity was a killer for me.
But I did not crap on myself.
Igy
Twin Cities was my PR and OTQ marathon in 1991. I believe that it was the first weekend in October, and the weather conditions were absolutely perfect--cold, sunny and dry, upper 30s at race start and only low 40s by the finish. Good weather makes an enormous difference at the marathon distance. For the sake of everyone running this year, I hope the weather cooperates.
amkelley,
Before the race started they announcer gave the conditions an "Orange" warning. The temperature was low 70s, but the humidity was palatable. I seriously misjudged how it would affect me. My training partner ran the same race, he and I were relatively close in training and races. He ran in the mid-2:50s with no affect, but he was seven years younger.
Igy
My hometown marathon was on Labor Day each year. A hilly course, and almost always hot and humid. But back then, road races seemed more about racing, and not so focused on running goal times. The tougher the conditions, the better. I suppose trail races would be analogous to that mentality today.
I've run TCM, too, don't remember my time, but that Governor WWF (fake wrestling) dude was standing outside the Gov's mansion when I ran by, and he looked totally confused by it all. Of course, he was probably as confused by politics, too, similar to what we have today in the WH.
I am still battling the bursitis in my lateral heel, but did do a stop and go 3 mile run on Tuesday while my wife did her trackwork. I averaged 11:30's, for the first run in a month's time.
My drop offs d/t aging started with an injury at age 38. Next BIG drop was after meniscus surgery at age 51. Then the niggles that appear w/o warning. I suspect that the bone chip in my heel will be a constant until someone can zap it away with a laser or something. Present age is 66.
I had hoped to run a sub 9:00 pace for the 1/2 marathon next month, then a sub 8:00 for 5 km two weeks later, and finish with a sub 24:00 for 5 km on turkey day. Now it's back to my wife and I speaking our personal mantra once again "just to run, just to run".
One more story of bad timing "runs"....mine is from high school during a track meet. I was hit with a bad urge and there were lines for the porta-potties. I barely made it inside the porta before I lost control but unfortunately I didn't pull my shorts down in time. I was left with a large liquid mass on my underwear and a portion of my shorts, but luckily the underwear took the brunt of it. I stripped off, threw the underwear down the hole, and wiped off my shorts as best I could. After finishing up I exited, filled my water bottle from the drinking fountain nearby, and squirted the offending areas of my shorts. Then I took a sweat towel I kept in my duffel and wiped off my shorts. Not perfect, but acceptable. Thank goodness for our uniform colors! I'm sure the black shorts kept me from picking up the nickname of "Shit Stain."
Anyone else running the USATF masters 5k roads champs this weekend in Syracuse?
I'll be 49.9 years - my last race before the blessed 50s.
Fast course, no?
phoenix, amkelley, brittle, others:
These poop stories all have a familiar ring. I know one thing, we I need to go there is no stopping. Probably several near misses. Shortly after my wife and I were married we were out for a run. I told my wife I needed to pick it up to get to a bathroom. She warned me not to do that. Well she was right. This was 1974 and many of the running shorts had to be worn with underwear. So the undies were left behind at the restroom, and I now slow when I get the urge.
Igy
My daughter came home from CC practice last year laughing (unfortunately) about a boy (s*IT) happened to.
I told her it had happened to me too in high school and it happens to darn near everybody eventually; hence the other reason we wear socks. (Ewwww she says)
If it hasn't happened to you, you need to try harder. ;)
One more toilet story but this one has a happy ending.
Back in the 80s I used to run with all the stars of Aussie running at Ferny Creek on Sundays.
The traditional long run would take me about 2 h 30 m and the top guys 2 h 15 m.
I figured out a number of little cheats to shorten it to about 2 h 20 m so I wouldn't get left way back on my own.
This particular day I was running well. I took my short cuts and found myself out front of the group leading the pack. That group included the great Rob DeCastella.
I was running toward the town of Belgrave and got the message from the tummy. There was what you guys would call a gas station with a single toilet at Belgrave. I quickly dashed in and did what needed doing. As I came out there was an anxious looking Mr DeCastella pacing about near the door. He rushed in and I rushed off to continue my run.
From Belgrave the course heads into the beautiful but very steep ferny forests of the Dandenongs. As I approached the most notorious hill, Aeroplane Hill, I heard footsteps. Deek flashed by and charged up this killer hill at an unbelievable speed.
I battled on taking my little shortcuts and got in under 2.20 pitstop included. Deek had run 2.10. I did the maths on his pace for the latter part of the proper course and he would've been hitting about 3.05/10 per km (5 min mile pace). That is on steep trails.
3 miles at the high school track, untimed.
Temperature was about 20 degrees F. cooler than yesterday, not too humid, sun was going down, and I'm sure I ran several minutes faster per mile today, while hardly breaking a sweat.
What a difference a day can make.
This thread has gone into the toilet.
🚽💩
Ghost of Igloi wrote:
This was 1974 and many of the running shorts had to be worn with underwear.
I recall wearing a jock strap under my shorts, but never underwear. Thank goodness for modern shorts.