How to tell your hs “track coach” you are training with a real track coach

And, frankly, the parents don't care if their child misses out on a talented but unreasonable/obnoxious and overly demanding coach. It's a high school level sports program not an elite club program. Get over yourself.

old fatty wrote:

Coach N wrote:

Don't do this. It's obnoxious and you are wasting the coach's time. We pull our hair out dealing with all the emails from parents and kids saying "I have this appointment" and "I'm going on that trip." I would rather have 30 kids who are here every day and committed to our program than 70 kids who have one foot out the door. And I frankly don't care if I miss out on talented athletes because of it.

And, frankly, the parents don't care if their child misses out on a talented but unreasonable/obnoxious and overly demanding coach. It's a high school level sports program not an elite club program. Get over yourself.

Now we're getting somewhere! I think I will quit wasting my valuable time on those undeserving high school athletes and only coach elite club kids. How do I start an elite club? Can I just put elite in the name? Or do I ask the parents if their kids are elite runners before taking their money?

high school xc coach wrote:

Lying is not the right answer. It's a bad example to your kid, and there is a high likelihood of getting caught.

Be honest. Tell the coach what you are doing. Show him written plans of what you've been doing the last month plus. Let him know you would like to keep up with the same kind of volume, schedule, etc. If coach isn't willing to play ball, at least you were willing to try to play nice. Go the deceptive route at this point.

If this coach is having every kid doing the same thing, then he doesn't take any pride in his job and not gonna be too worried about being the genius behind a kid's performance.

But give everybody a chance to be an adult first.

Your answers are consistently GREAT!

My coach had everyone "doing the same thing," and he made both halls of fame in our state.

Also, there was a coach who coached a great team, but allowed the top runner in the state to do his own thing by himself!

In the NFL, there was a coach by the name of Jim Lee Howell who coached the NY Giants. This man allowed his assistants, Tom Landry and Vince Lombardi to coach the defense and offense respectively. They won championships!

Two heads are better than one if they work together.

sustainable earth wrote:

high school xc coach wrote:

if the kind of program your kid is running for is that high of a priority for you, you should 100% buy a house in a district that you respect. that is an option you have.

otherwise, play by the rules of the system, just like everybody else.

Ha! Nope. I'm not going to allow myself to be hog tied by you or your conflicts of interest (i.e., forcing my hand at paying you to coach despite your team's poor performance). I'll instruct my kid to play by the rules to a reasonable degree but if things become too bad, too onerous or too inflexible, that's when I step in and put up a fight.

I have a feeling winning teams only have parents like you in the minority. No coach can win with this kind of negative attitude.

I private coached a couple of times. Both times I was fortunate enough to work with a school coach who understood she didn't know that much. First few weeks were a headache, mainly for me trying to get her to understand why they were overracing themselves into injuries. I was belittled by parents and other school coaches in that conference for my training methods. Halfway through the season I gave the greenlight to the 2-3 athletes I primarily worked with and they both set massive personal bests, placed high in a couple of major invites, and several weeks later had college coaches calling or writing. Amazingly the parents, orher coaches, and the school coach all reversed and started singing my praises. Many of them went to the AD and principal asking that I be hired and made a main/head coach. That request was denied. The team got 2nd in state that year off the season of those 2-3 I worked with. As season was winding down other athletes started gravitating towards me asking for help, off season work, etc. Kids may realize they'll never be the best, but they still want to see how good they can be. Parents feel the same. They will naturally move, if given the freedom, towards an individual they perceive can help with that.

Most of my experience with local public school coaches and AD's is that they don't care if you know more or want to help them learn more. Most are paycheck coaches just picking up a few extra bucks for a non-revenue generating sport. It's why they don't really care if your kid is awesome or wants to be awesome. Most AD's don't care to find a running coach who knows their stuff. They want a coach who will just babysit, toe the line, turn in the paperwork, and be primarily a "yes" man or woman. It's just the nature of the system. I never took it personally the timed I was told they didn't want outside help. I just said, "What a shame", and left it alone. Even told a couple of kids I couldn't help them the way they wanted my help if they stayed on the school's team. Just wanted to spare them and the local coach the headache. My only beef with most schools is that the coaches usually don't have the long-term overall health of thr athlete as their underlying motive. I'm sure there are exceptions but that's been my experience. It's just try to win local meets so the local papers/media give praise and everyone says how awesome they are. On the flip side I have seen private coaches like I was for those few years not be able to back away, even interfering with the athlete's college career, usually an NCAA no-no at most colleges. Just my two cents and then some.

this is a fair take. there are a lot of mediocre to bad coaches out there, and there are a lot of private coaches who are not what they think they are. And many schools have contracts that state they must hire coaches from within the district teacher's association.

My personal stance on private coaches is this. I am a distance coach. I take a lot of pride in it. There is almost no circumstance where I would let an outsider coach my distance runners. Perhaps if I had a ridiculous nationally talented kid, I would look to work with somebody and also learn from them myself.

On the other side of things, I would be over joyed to have a personal coach help with pole vault, hurdles, triple jump, high jump, etc. But these coaches would not be telling me kids can't run in relays, etc. Those decisions will always be made by me, based on a balance of what is good for the individual and the team.

So what in your opinion would a ridiculous nationally say kid moving into junior high this fall need to have for times say in the 1500 and 3000m? Boy

This sounds like a parent who may be a bit too involved in their child's athletics. Make sure this push for special coaching is really coming from the kid rather than the parent.

I would recommend going to all of the practices and doing all of the standard workouts without any complaint or drama. If the athlete wants to do extra workouts and get extra coaching, I don't think a good coach would care but don't let that interfere with the official practices/meets (and they should not go bragging to the other kids about their extra work/coaching). What is hard for a coach is when one athlete wants special treatment and makes a public spectacle; that is disrespectful of the coach and demoralizing to the other team members.

i don't have any experience with 7th grade phenom boys. and honestly, i don't have any numbers in mind of what that kid is. But in any case, i think they would be safe with me for at least a couple years. I would honestly be more worried about an over zealous private coach doing too much too soon.

You don’t. Or you have a sit down talk and let them know that you’d like to incorporate both if possible. Some coaches take it rough and run a dictatorship.

Ok, thanks I was just curious what a high school coach though good times would be coming into 9th grade

How could you not be sure if it was 2 or 3?

Absolutely none of those excuses would qualify as an excused absence. Unless this coach is a complete moron, this will just lead to your kid being kicked off the team and not welcomed back...

It is actually pretty fun to be on a team...just sayin', that might be a reason to actually join the team.

If parents are most concerned with the personal performance of their child and aspire for them to be recruited so the parents can feel accomplished about "raising a successful child" then private coaching and club sports are probably the way to go.

If you want to let your child interact with classmates, be on a team, and aspire to his or her own goals, then I would recommend actually participating with the team at the school they attend.

Disclamer: Athletic performance coach biased.

I work with high school and college field sport athletes as a strength and conditioning coach.

Most coaches are receptive to a coach working with their athletes, as long as what we are doing works in synergy with the teams goals and plans. Off season, I have the freedom to work within my domain. In season, I make sure they are as ready as they can be for their sport while not competing for resources. Usually if a coach has a problem its because their ego is too big. I work with their coaches in developing our programs and let them know hey this is what we're focusing on.

I usually have to tell parents to stick it where the sun doesn't shine in what the want little Johnny to be doing. you hired me to do a job, let me do my job. Most parents think their kid needs to be doing XYZ while they really need to fix ABC before getting to XYZ. Most parents live vicariously through their kids.

This is the reality for most parents -

1% of varsity football players make it to D1 college.

1% of D1 college players make it to the NFL

50% of those who make it to the NFL get a contract

of those who get a contract the average career is 2.8 years - still on a rookie contract.

Little Johnny who's a rising 9th grader has stupidly long odds and will not be the next Tom Brady.

In your case - little whoever is likely not the next whatever distance you think s/he will win gold in. With that said, let them follow their dreams, don't live yours vicariously though them.

If the coach has every single kid doing the same workouts theres no way the program is ever gonna be good

Pathetic. A private coach for a freshman and then lying about it really keeps everything in perspective. I guess the ends of a partial scholarship to some middling distance program justifies it all. Run AAU through club teams throughout the winter, spring and summer. If you want to be part of your school team put up with the mediocrity of it.

Save yourself and the coach some time and don't bother running for someone you clearly don't respect. You're probably the type of parent that sneaks onto the infield to shout splits at their kid as they come around.

Does your son/daughter like running as much as you do? Are they his/her goals, or are they yours?

You are sucking the joy out of the sport by belittling anyone that you don't approve of. Maybe your kid has talent. It won't matter when they burn out because they have been told they are "elite" and don't need to listen, be a part of a team, show up for practices like everyone else, etc.

PS - you guys realize HS coaches make maybe $2/hour when you break down the average contract for the time commitment. I swear, some of you guys are the worst! :)

Over the course of my public school coaching career, I had several private coach athletes. The program we (Co-Head Coach) ran had over 200 athletes in the Track program (over 100 in Cross Country) and achieved quite a bit of success. All the coaches on our staff were college athletes and knew their event areas. Yet, every year the private coach issue occurred.

The key to this private coach working is OPEN COMMUNICATION. Our biggest concern was the athlete being trained. For example, one private coach (High Jump) assumed the athlete was getting her conditioning and weight lifting with our athletes. Not happening as she played both coaches off against each other. Reality, she did not jump well even after paying her private coach several thousand dollars.

Lastly, what message are you sending to your daughter if you are establishing an unhealthy relationship with her school coach.

Just my two cents