Funniest thing you have seen at a race

It had been quite awhile but I got laid the night before a 5k I had planned to race. The very next morning on very little sleep I was quite excited to run my race ( all endorphined out) I scrammed from the start, I decided to tuck in behind the leader some college kid, he didn't appreciate it, as my face soon found out - he slowly blew spit out the side of his mouth and I was caught in a shower of spit! My instant reaction was to smash the back of his head and kick his scrawnny ass right there in the road, but I let my good sportmanship prevail.

I ended up finishing third on this hilly 5k 17:01 Lakeside 5k East Hampton Ct. It was and still is the course record for a master on the course.

A early season DIII 8K at St. Lawrence U. consisted of three loops through a forest section. On the first loop a large bee nest (the gray football shaped ones from the comics) is dislodged in a narrow woods segment. There is no way to avoid it and complete the course. On the following loop runners are scattering trying to escape the bees and getting stung. Personally I took two on the knee and two in the chest. Now it is the final loop and you are going all out, but know that you must run the bee gauntlet. Got a few more stings and then into the straightaway.

Perhaps not funny now, but it seemed so absurd at the time that it was nearly funny. It was in line with the team motto: Don't be a pussy, Be Epic.

so wait, you were a master (i'm guessing 40 yrs.+) and you got laid. that means people over 40 are doing.....ewwwwwwwww, that should be illegal

At smaller local race, this kid who looks like he just back from a night of clubbing (black pants, dress shoes, and dress shirt) and stumbled onto the race dazed and confused from a night of debauchery decides to toe the line. Right before the start, a couple of runners in the front are checking this kid out and seem perplexed by his running attire. At the start, he bolts to the front and takes the lead. About a quarter mile into the race he decides to pull out.

Running in a quad this year, we had a course that consisted of 2 loops and it also had a bee hive in a small tree on the course. Being in the lead on the 2nd loop, I was very much tempted to knock the bee hive down knowing I wouldnt need to run by it, but I ultimately decided to leave it, though picturing it, I still think itd be funny for the people in the pack to see the leader just smack a bee hive onto the course as he runs by.

I was at a track quad meet (local) and I stepped up to the line to race the 1600. Some nerdy kid, wearing clumpy trainers, was assigned next to me. The race starts, and he takes off in front of me. He's hauling ass up until the first 400m. I hit mine in about 70s and I get behind the kid going around the curve. He starts making these wheezing sounds and literally lunges himself across the track onto the ground. Some things I wish to forget.

at a big xc invitational, one of the girls i coached ran about 200 meters off course straight to the toilets -- when you gotta go, you gotta go.

I was at a small 5k trail race a few years back and we got into this really narrow and windy wooded area around 2k. As we're coming up on about 3k I'm in 9th and I'm sitting on the 8th place guy trying to find a way around him. He's running pretty strong and I'm thinking if I could just find an open area here to sprint past him maybe I can hold him off. As I'm thinking this it suddenly opens up and I'm thinking YES! Then I realize that there are two volunteers standing at a fold out table and two coolers of water with cups. I'm kind of staring at this thinking "Who the hell drinks water during a 5k??" as the 8th place guy pulls the rip cord and stops at the table for a drink.

Meant winding, not windy.

Yes and they could teach you a few things!!!

fleetfoot wrote:

It had been quite awhile but I got laid the night before a 5k I had planned to race....

Why did you you say that? It has nothing to due with your not funny at all story.

Once we had a "B" mile relay, scratched together at the last minute, running in a dual (or maybe tri) indoor meet at home.

Things really weren't quite set up completely--just a last-minute thing, as I say--but at least they sorted out who would lead off, and then the gun went.

The "A" relays got a half-lap ahead pretty quickly, but our "B" squad was still running hard. Our third guy, Doug (RIP), who didn't get to run the relay much, got the baton and took off on what was probably one of his finest quarters ever. He comes off the last turn, really dying but still finishing strong, and heads to the exchange zone,

...and there's no one there. The guy they'd thought was going to anchor was under the impression that the relay didn't end up with four guys, so he went off to the bathroom or something before the race even started.

Anyway, Doug comes steaming into the exchange zone and starts looking around wildly for someone to hand off to, and there's no one--it's the end of the meet and just about the only guys from our team who are still left are the ones on the "A" relay.

I guess you had to be there, but the "hit-dog" look on Doug's face was priceless. Naturally, the crowd enjoyed a hearty laugh at his expense.

Did this indoor 1500m race in Austria, International one. For those that dont know its 7.5 laps, anyway coming up to bell lap this dude bolts out of pack and hits front, I cover but i am not flat out as he crosses line he puts up his arms, bell goes, he realises what he has done, as we go past i loudly comment 'twat' and carry on to take the win, no idea where he finished, my mate is behind me at bell and is crying with laughter!! yes i know about bekele and cragg but i was not in that race!!

My teammate in college won an indoor 3k in a flannel shirt. He said it was very hot.

Senior year, some of our non-runner friends entered the 4x4 at our home meet and ran it in capes. They finished about 100-150 meters behind the field.

Sure it does, I was on fumes which made it funnier to me.

My senior year in high school, I ran a mile on the track that would host NCAA indoors the next weekend. I was leading the A heat with 400m to go, and was passed by a kid I'd raced often that fall. He was really cruising, but I had several gears left, so I covered and followed him for the next 200m. As we came in on the bell, I cruised past him, and he realized he'd charged early. He ended up fifth, and I got the win. He was less than happy about his gaffe.

Earlier that fall, I was disqualified twice, in two different races. The first meet of the season was a hokum-karum style race (two guys form a team, and take turns running 3x1 mile), and I was the lead guy for my pair. Toward the end of my third leg, I was leading the pack, and came out of the woods into a clearing toward the final exchange. There weren't any officials on the course, but there were tons of flags heading in several directions (since there were several exchanges). I did my best to guess where I was headed, and ended up going wide left of the exchange chute. I veered pretty sharply right to end up getting underneath the flags, but ended up getting DQ'd for wandering so far off of the preset course (as did the guy who followed me).

The last race of the season for me that year was semi-state (unfortunately), where I was also DQd. It was my superstition to warm up without my race singlet, and then put it on right before the race. For some reason, I'd forgotten to put my singlet on, and arrived at the start line with my racing shorts and a long-sleeved tee, but no singlet. We had several JV guys with us, who warmed up and were ready to jump into the race, just in case. I sent one of them back to our camp to get my jersey, but he didn't make it back before the start. I said to hell with it, and started the race with my long sleeved tee on. About a mile in, I pass my coach, who yelled at me to take my shirt off. So I did--an proceeded to continue racing with just my shorts on (mind you, this is mid-November in the midwest). The course dips into a ravine in some woods, where I passed several of our girls, who had already raced. One of the smaller girls (5'4", 100#) tossed me her singlet, which I (5'11", 155#) wriggled into in the ravine. I ended up finishing, and one of the team dads tossed me my singlet in time to give the officials the strip from the bottom of my bib.

The funny part of the second DQ was that one of my college teammates had a picture of him, from that race, end up in his HS yearbook. Who else would end up next to him, but me, running without a shirt.

Did a pretty big 10K invite a few years back along with one of my teammates. I was ahead of him, so I found out about what happened after the race. So apparently 5 laps into the race the elastic in the built in undies broke and his junk fell out. It was quite visible as well, and he couldn't really get it covered up, so it was just out there. We had a guy on the team we gave crap to because he'd DNF if he wasn't running well, so because of that no one else on the team would DNF. So he ran the last 20 laps with his junk in plain view. One of my teammates was filming the race and all the video ended up being was zooming in on his waist to see his junk and lots of laughter every time he passed by. It was a pretty funny video. The other funny thing about that was he was meeting his girlfriends parents for the first time after the race. So their first impression of my teammate was him running a 10K with his wang out.

I was running a mid winter marathon a couple of years ago. It was bitter cold, high 30s and very windy. I was running with a group and we were all bundled up with multiple layers of clothing. At about 5 miles when I heard a big WOW! from the group of runners just ahead. I thought someone had fallen. A few seconds later, i found out what the WOW was all about. A lady in her late 20s was running in this blustery weather with only a bikini, just a jogabra top and a micro bikini bottom; no gloves, no hat, just the bikini!! Her skin was beet red but she was ahead of me. My group all went WOW!!! also. I didnt think there was anyway she could finish but I found out later that she ran a decent time and got 4th or 5th among the women!

This may have been Jenn Shelton..she has been known to do this in a race or two! What marathon was it?