You might be a runner if...

Hugging a sweaty girl....I LIKE THAT!

I like my girls Yellow skinned and SWEATY!!

jason

you get hit by a car and you dont bother to get the license plate of the person who hit you because you still have 6 miles left to go...

...when a non-runner asks you if you "jog" you have to fight the urge to punch them in the face

...you write your senior paper on Lydiard's training theory

...the mention of aqua joggin causes you to develop a temporary facial tic

...you've used moss

...your carry-on is a spike bag

...you've run at least four miles or done strides in an airport terminal or parking lot (extra credit if you've done abs and stretched too)

Your video collection is of Past Track Meets in stead of all the new releases from Blockbuster.

The favorites for your computer contain all running sites.

Your wall of your room is covered with running pictures from magazines instead of Bikini Models.

Your wardrobe is made up of all the T-shirts from the Races you have participated in.

Your email address contains something to do with running.

All your photo albums contain you running.

Your voice mail say, "Sorry I am not in right now, I am aout on a run."

You shave your whole body before a track meet because you think that it will make you run faster.

You dont own any pairs of socks.

You sleep in your track shoes the day before the race to get you pumped up.

All you talk about to friends is track meets you have ran in.

All of your bathroom reading material is of old track magizines.

You have to go to the running store everyday just to see the new things that they have.

You wish that there were more running moves out there.

You only read the sports page in the Newspapper to see if there is anything in it about running.

The soccer team is begging you to try our for the team.

...while you are running passengers in a moving car find it funny to throw items like food, shoes, and balls at you

Your significant other is frisky for some headboard banging but you refuse, saying you have to get up early for your long run.

I've never done that, but I've heard of it happening. Really. I promise.

It was an accident. The label had fallen off the tape. I kept denying it until she showed me parts of the wedding reception that came after the marathon ended.

Phipps wrote:

...you and 4 teammates spent a day driving 800 miles to run a sub 5 mile on all 7 tracks in your conference in under 24 hours.

That is way cool. I wish I had thought of that when I was younger.

Thanks, I had copied them to a text file in 1996 or 7 and then forgot where I got them, but now that you mention it you're right. I do take credit for making up the last 4 though.

Your nipples have ever bled

Chafing is a serious medical condition

Your non-running friends won't even ride their bike while you run anymore

Your dog hides when you get the leash

You've ever pooped in someone's front yard with cars approaching because you can't make it another step (This happened to me last night)

You trip over a 2x4, know you've sliced your toe open and it's oozing blood but you refuse to take your shoe off and look at it because you're only 2 mi into a 6 mi recover run (also last night)

- People are congratulating you at work the Monday after you ran a 3:07 marathon and you get angry because you know you should have run faster.

- You buy all of your shirts for work in dark colors so the printing from your race T-shirts that you wear underneath does not show through.

- You take ice from the work cafeteria and try to ice your shins or achilles while you're at your desk.

-you know something is wrong with your body if you don't take at least two dumps every day.

-nobody in your group thinks twice about ripping off a few farts during the morning run

-you get asked by strangers why you are "running with extra shoes" when you are carrying your flats to a workout

-you don't think adding onto a run for two minutes is a ridiculous idea

-the first question anybody asks you once they find out you are a runner is "have you ever run the marathon?" even if you explain that you are a miler or 5k runner - then they immediately lose interest in the conversation.

-you have shoe boxes in your room from every pair of trainers and spikes you have ever owned

-you have read and reread Once a Runner and almost every other running book out there

You've ever iced on the hour EVERY hour for 12 straight hours....several days in a row

1) Pissing blood doesn't particularly alarm you.

2) Every cold day you still the same old (insert school) Cross Country sweat shirt.

3) You could care less about politics, but wish Jim Ryun would run for president one of these days.

4) You have all the answers as to how Alan Webb should proceed with his career.

5) Your girl makes you wear socks to bed because of your toes.

6) Your girl complains every day about how you never cuddle in bed in the morning.

7) You think people who wear those water packs/belts are pussies.

8) You have no doubt, regardless of your ability, that someday you will run under 2:22.

When running behind cute girls, the first thing you notice is how much they pronate and what kind of shoes they are wearing.

MY GOD!! WE'RE A BUNCH OF FRICKIN' TOOLS!!!!

if you did Mile Repeats on 9/11/01

When you call to order new shoes, the sales rep asks, "The usual?"

You've been hit by more cars than your car.

You haven't made it to the toilet or the woods fast enough more than once.

Port-a-pots are a luxury.