Best way to “wipe” on a run

KudzuRunner wrote:

Those who claim they've never had to pit-stop to take a s--t during a run probably aren't eating enough roughage.

Well then, I'll start eating a lot more roughage because I'm just dying to start having a problem with an uncontrollable, immediate need to poop during the middle of a run. It sound great!

I’m not going to read the whole thread, but whatever you do, don’t use any living leaves/plants unless you are 100% sure they won’t hurt you. I’ve wiped with poisonous something before and I wouldn’t wish the next month of pain on anyone. I kid you not, it spread and I was itching EVERYWHERE from my waist to my thighs.

TrackCoach wrote:

Sorebum wrote:

Hands down, the best is a smooth rock. Also a smooth branch or stick.

Leaves are considered the go-to object, but they are wrought with issues.

Also, one sock, which should be buried afterwards.

Hand if you’re by a river or water source to clean up.

Tree bark for lumps, but not great for finer cleaning.

First off, if this happening so frequently that you need to plan for it, there is a problem. For the average runner, this will happen less than a half dozen times in an entire career. Who plans for something that might happen every couple of years. My recommendation is poop before you run and learn from the times it has happened. And, why wipe at all, poop, finish your run, avoid interacting with people and head straight to the shower.

TrackCoach, I'm going to respectfully disagree. I'm as conscientious as the next runner about doing my business before I set out on my morning runs. (And BTW: some people poop in the AM and some poop in the PM. I'm in the former category; my wife and son, I gather, are in the latter category. That's what "regular" means. I suspect that your incredulity is based on you being in the latter category.) It's part of my morning weigh-in ritual to try to...ahem....get light. So two trips to the toilet prior to an AM run are very common. Even so, from time to time it turns out during the run that there is....more to come. And sometimes it insists on demanding a pit stop.

I'd estimate that that happens to me every four to six weeks. Or perhaps every two months. But definitely four to six times a year, regardless of how thoroughly I do my business at home.

Note: I have shared these personal details because we are all runners here.

What about not stopping at all and just letting it rip in your shorts then cleaning up when you’re done?

As an ultra runner I do lots of long distance trail runs. Always try to ‘go’ before starting and bring some paper towels or napkins (TP is too fragile) in a little zip lock bag just in case. I typically need a pit stop 1 to 3 times a year, not often. Of course there is always Murphy’s law in place, if I carry some paper I don’t need it, if I forget - nature calls. In those cases, sticks and rocks work best.

Ask the “bear” to get off your back? Or run fast enough to let it “air” dry? Sorry, that’s the best I could come up with...???‍♀️?

Do people actually wipe with rocks!? I've had to make my fair share of pit stops in my life, and I've used about every other type of material to wipe with. But a rock? For what it's worth, my suggestion is to use a soft leaf. You don't want anything 'scratchy' getting up in there.

I'm actually surprised that none of the wealthier LRCers have suggested $100 bills yet.

Tried them but they don’t have the cleanability of pure gold leaf or the exfoliating sphincter spa treatment quality of my executive assistant’s delicate mink-gloved hands

Some of you guys just need to go hobby jogger. Get yourself a fanny pack and you have plenty of room on the inside to hold a full roll of your favorite tp, as a bonus one of the water bottle holders could be used to carry the pepto.

If you don't wipe and continue to run a couple of negative scenarios came to mind:

Mean dog forces an alt route and extra mileage.

Friendly dogs can't get enough of your butt.

I run with ninety-nine cent gardening gloves in fall and winter. It's a cheap solution for unexpected pit stops.

I tend to literally pop a lot when I'm running. It is good to do it in a well wooded area but I'm alway's looking around me to make sure no body will come and see me. Rocks are good but I usually prefer leaves, and the higher off the ground the better, as less lickily contaminated. I pick a tree with good leafs. I imagine the tree is Bekele. The branches are his arms, and the leafs are the toilet paper in his hands. I just act normal, because I am a normal person after all, and just imagine that I'm in a toilet using toilet paper.

I don't wipe at all

I wonder what wejo does seeing as he's "SUPER ANAL" according to "why I sucked in college"

I don't get it.... wrote:

I have been running for 20+ years and have never needed to crap on a run. What is up with you people? Are you the same guys that can't pee if someone is in the same room?

I've been peeing for 20 years and can hold my pee if there is someone in the same room.

Just put a few pieces of TP in the pocket of your shorts. Do a good enough job to get you home to finish the job right. Most running shorts have a key pocket that TP can be folded up into. The shorts I wear I have a zipper pocket in the back for keys that work great for TP and are more resistant to sweat which is key.

Primo Numero Uno wrote:

Just put a few pieces of TP in the pocket of your shorts. Do a good enough job to get you home to finish the job right. Most running shorts have a key pocket that TP can be folded up into. The shorts I wear I have a zipper pocket in the back for keys that work great for TP and are more resistant to sweat which is key.

When the urge hits I almost always make it to a potty where TP awaits. It’s only maybe once every couple months that circumstances require popping a squat. Its not worth the trouble of rounding up toilet paper every day, sometimes twice a day, for an event that happens so rarely and without warning, and that makes very little mess when done properly. Also, with TP you are littering. Don’t you care about the environment?

Moss by far, but the soft long kind. Large green leaves are solid.

Banana Bread wrote:

I'm alway's looking

alway's? Seriously?

Banana Bread, you never seem to be able to finish one post without an atrocious error like this. Where did you go to primary school? What happened??

If you have a waterproof case then cell phone wipe might work.