Follow up to worst coach: Dumbest thing you've heard a coach say regarding running?

Athlete: I think I might have run faster if is hadn\'t been quite as windy.

Coach: I don\'t know if you noticed, but the track is an oval. You had the wind at your back half the time too.

"Who's Sam Bell?"

My teammate told me about this coach that thankfully left just a couple years before I arrived.

Coach: "I want you to cut your weekly mileage in half."

Athlete: "Okay, so..."

Coach: "You should be running 80 miles per week."

---

Coach: "Okay, we're gonna do 200s. I want you to run goal race pace."

5k Athlete: "Okay, so I'll be running about 37s."

Coach: "No, I want you running 32s."

---

Coach: "Run 105 miles per week."

Athlete: "Okay, I can do that."

***One morning workout***

Coach: "Why couldn't you hit the times in this workout??"

Athlete: "I'm tired from my 15-mile run yesterday."

Coach: "Why did you run 15 miles yesterday?!"

Athlete: "Because I'm running 105 miles per week..."

---

We switch coaches and win several conference titles in a row in XC. People are breaking PRs left and right. The above coach proceeds to harass the new coach via email, saying he doesn't agree with the things he's having us do.

we were once told we were working to get to the top of the bell curve, don't think he understood that meant average...

I didnt hear it but I read from way back that one of Jumbo Elliots athletes came up to him and said I have a sore leg and cant train and Jumbo said, " well run on the other one then". Lol.

"I'd rather that you drink beer than milk the day before you race. Milk has lactose, which builds up in your muscles and makes you sluggish."

He coached some national record-holders, so he wasn't stupid. Everyone has their blind spots, I guess.

The Donger wrote:

Idiots or not, here we are quoting them!

Mine, during an I terval workout I heard a coach tell his athletes:

"Close you mouth. You breath through your nose only!"

Got quite angry about it.

Billie-Jean-King adopted the technique and Tarahumara runners, yes those people again!

tribord wrote:

runner boi wrote:

+1

Why would someone delete habs' post?????????

For the record I reported my own post because I saw that me and the OP posted saying basically the same thing at the same time.

"Remember, it's not whether you win or lose, as long as you come in first."

My high school coach of my junior year coached one year only. He had a favorite athlete, a sophomore, who he treated as his protege because he was the youngest of our top 5 and was our number 1 runner at the start of the season.

Well, this kid managed to run 17:00-17:10 every single race while other guys improved and came from behind him to break 17:00. Eventually, coach turned from constant praise of this athlete to constant passive-aggressive disparagement.

Athlete (exhausted after race): Coach, have you seen my parents?

Coach: Well, (Athlete name), you didn't break 17:00, so they left you.

This athlete did not respond well to negative reinforcement.

VAcoach wrote:

My college hired a former Jamaican 400m runner to coach XC (at a school with no track team). He told us, since an 8K was 20X the 400m distance, he would simply multiply his college training by 20.

After 7 days we staged a mutiny, I challenged him to call other college coaches and if he found one that thought that was a good idea, we would go along. 2 days later he shows up with a copy of "Training Young Distance Runners" in his hand from Barnes and Noble and would simply give us the workouts in the back. SMH

Epilogue: I qualified for Nats that year...go figure.

That's awesome.

Quotes from my college coach, a Kenyan and former 3:41 guy, 10 years out of shape and coaching some very slow D3 runners:

Coach: I used to run mile repeats at 4:40 pace. You have to get strong.

Me: Yeah, but coach, you were really talented. Lots of people could never do that. I could never do that.

Coach: No, you and me, we are the same . . . everybody is the same.

Coach (seeing me and a teammate for the first time): "Alright, these guys are in shape!"

On Strength training:

"I used to be very skinny. Then one day I am at a stop light, and this guy pulls up next to me. He rolls down his window and does this (flexes bicep and scowls). That day, I went home and started lifting weights."

"YOU GOTTA GO"

1000m into a 3K race,

2000m into a 5K race,

3000m into a 10K race,

it never fails. Every single time.

To 100m Sprinters and LJ/ TJ training group.... " I know my training is different than your old coach but sprinters need to be training aerobically at least 3x a week, we will do 30 minute runs 2-3x a week and water polo 1x a week" To a bunch of college athletes including one female triple jumper who is 12 + m jumper... note the 12m jumper is transferring so message received coach.

Small Christian DIII College

Show him this

http://personalwellnesscoach.tumblr.com/post/37253773620/10-training-tips-from-usain-bolt-fastest-man

Bolt reveals he rarely runs farther than one lap of the track. “I don’t really do any cardio in training,” he says, preferring to focus on quality over quantity. “It’s hot anyway in Jamaica, so we burn a lot of calories when training. Even just warming up I would be sweating hard.” Even so, his longest run is surprisingly short. “This season, probably 350m. A couple of times I have run 600m in the past, but that’s as far as I’ve ever been.”

Hobbyist wrote:

Show him this

http://personalwellnesscoach.tumblr.com/post/37253773620/10-training-tips-from-usain-bolt-fastest-man

Bolt reveals he rarely runs farther than one lap of the track. “I don’t really do any cardio in training,” he says, preferring to focus on quality over quantity. “It’s hot anyway in Jamaica, so we burn a lot of calories when training. Even just warming up I would be sweating hard.” Even so, his longest run is surprisingly short. “This season, probably 350m. A couple of times I have run 600m in the past, but that’s as far as I’ve ever been.”

We all know he means that's how far he runs repeats. He's not counting his daily 10-12 miles in the morning. He's only talking about how long his repeats are.

heeeeer's johnny wrote:

One of my old coaches used to tell us 'You can't win if you don't enter.' He didn't understand that just because you enter doesn't mean you are going to win. I think this proved, conclusively, that I was smarter than this coach.

So, are you saying that you CAN win if you don't enter?

I think you must reevaluate your intellectual capacity.

A long time ago, in the south, from a coach in the national hall of fame.

"Son you are slower than smoke off of cow$ hit"

"If you false start again, just keep on running down that track, jump that fence, and don't ever come back"

"Son you are so dumb I could put you in a bag full of titties and you'd come out sucking your thumb"

And many others to crude to post.

Jake from state farm wrote:

A long time ago, in the south, from a coach in the national hall of fame.

"Son you are slower than smoke off of cow$ hit"

"If you false start again, just keep on running down that track, jump that fence, and don't ever come back"

"Son you are so dumb I could put you in a bag full of titties and you'd come out sucking your thumb"

And many others to crude to post.

Too crude to post on letsrun? Oh my...

Omg wow. Or maybe because that's a lot of food and everyone digests a little differently.

Nutso Prof wrote:

The quote didn't come from a coach, but I once had an exercise physiology professor insist the following:

"You should be able to eat a full steak dinner including a baked potato with butter and sour cream, salad with dressing and a roll 30 minutes before racing a 10K. If you throw up at any point during or immediately after the race, it is ONLY because you were not adequately conditioned and trained for the race itself."