Running after College - Need advice from older guys

80s Guy wrote:

First of all, you need to dump your girlfriend. And I'm not being facetious. If she isn't going to support your dreams now, it will only get worse as time goes on. If she's trying to push you to "grow up", she does not love you.

If your parents have any role in discouraging you, then you need to bite the bullet and move out.

Get yourself a job at a local running store. I did this back in my younger days, and management was totally supportive of my goals and racing schedule. I never hit the big time, but I did manage to improve by leaps and bounds.

You get one life, buddy. Make the most of it and don't let anyone hold you down. If you don't take this matter into your own hands, you WILL -- repeat WILL -- regret it.

Ignore this guy and read some of the other posts by people like A Serious Answer, etc. Life is about more than self-fulfillment. If you are serious about this girl, understand that she has a life too, and make it work for both of you. You don't have to go all 9-to-5 on us, but figure out a way to make this work responsibly.

Go for your dreams man, do it. Just don't wreck other important parts of your life. You get one life. Live it well. Live it like you will be proud when it is over. This involves more than serving only yourself.

6am: Wake up

6:05: Begin morning run

6:55: Finish morning run

7:00: Shower, breakfast, etc.

7:30: Drive to work (30 min commute)

8-5pm: Work

5:30: Arrive home

5:45pm: Start evening run/workout

7:15pm: Done

10pm: bedtime

You could do this even better if you can cut down the commute, or you can get up earlier and swap the morning and evening runs, which I do if I want to do a workout and it's too hot out in the afternoon. This schedule has 2+ hours of running budgeted everyday, which should allow you to put in 120-140 a week without too much trouble. It's all about priorities. I could list out all the great runners who have worked full time while training but I don't really know the specifics, so I'll leave that to someone else. I just don't agree with people who have to be prima donnas and think their training is just too difficult to do while working. There are lots of us doing it. Suck it up.

With that schedule how would you even have time for a attention wanting girlfriend or anything resembling a social life?

What is with the idea that in order to train you need to do nothing but? We start running in HS when we have school from 7-3 and with hw and a social life. Then in college we take 15+ credits, write papers and do work and have a job but we get it done. So how come when you graduate you can't work from 9-5? Just don't get married(you can have a gf) and don't have kids. Train on the roads around ur house/appt. Why does everyone think you've got to go to altitude or oregon to be successful? Do it all. There is 24 hrs in a day and 15 when not sleeping.

I have no regrets for pursuing the dream. It's the experience of a lifetime! I've trained and raced all over the country, met so many people (many of whom are friends, whether elites or regular runners), and seen amazing sights. I'm currently on sabbatical from my job, training to qualify for the Trials again (this fall). I've saved up enough money from my job/prize earnings to do this. When the dream is over, I plan to pursue a professional degree (already have one), and I will pursue that with the same drive and passion I have for running. You have the rest of your life to "live like a normal person". Your physical window of opportunity is now.

Unfortunately, some careers make it too hard. It is easy to say 9-5, but we all know that unless you are a bank teller, that is not usually the case. I work in advertising, and i usually hit the office around 8am and work well through 7pm most nights. I cannot even join a running group b/c when I tired I rarely showed up for the runs.

I tried the lunch thing, but there just wasn't enough wiggle room at the office.

I solved this by commuting to work via running. 7 miles each way. Sure, running with a backpack wasn't ideal, but it enabled me to get in enough mileage to throw a workout in on Saturday with an easy longrun on Sunday.

Surprisingly enough, this opened my schedule up tremendously. Commute took less time, so I could leave home at 7am and be at work at 8-8:15. I had a shower in the building, which made it easier. Commute home was the biggie. I used to spend upwards of an hour and a 1/2 in the car, but now got home in 40-45 minutes. More time for my wife and kids, no internal decisions about skipping the run tonight, etc.

Get creative.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" ~ Wayne Gretzky

You're going to get older and slower, so take your shot now. There will be plenty of time in life to get married, have kids, get a job and make money.

You shouldn't have to stop your dreams just because the love of your life wants you to, but that being said...

Your dream of qualifying for the Olympic Marathon trials is not a dream that can't happen with a full-time job and a spouse and a life; there's enough time in the day to train for it. You living at home at age 25 and earning $100-$400 at local races is bordering on pathetic. You're a grown man. Go support yourself! Your girlfriend is correct here...grow up. You do that and still manage to run 70-100 miles per week (lots of us do that; I did that before I had kids) and your girlfriend is STILL upset with you, then consider getting another girlfriend.

You haven't shown such great talent that leaving it all behind would be a crime. As was said earlier, there are truckloads of runners out there with truckloads more talent than you have. There are DI All Americans that we never hear from again, and you didn't even become one of those. Not saying you can't get better, but there are other things in life than running, and as I already said, you can still attempt to achieve that dream of yours even with a full life outside of running.

Basically I'm siding with your girlfriend here.

let go its over... wrote:

why would i want company?

I no longer run, living with a great girlfriend, heaps of friends that i now actually have time to see, can go out for beers on a friday night? have a great job that i actually like and pays awesome...and i'm not constantly tired.

Once you stop running you realize how much more to life there is..running keeps you in a isolated little shell of living to run...

Running is not that rewarding when you think about it.. thinking about how you train all year long and you might run 7 or 8 races...barring marathon that go for less that 30 minutes...

I love how you act like none of these things are possible while training. running 1-2 hours a day does not prevent you from being able to have a girlfriend, see friends regularly, have a good job, and go out for beers once or twice a week. if you are constantly tired from running, then you're training wrong .

and if you think running is not that rewarding, then I don't know why you ever did it.

so what? so if you race every weekend, you have a big whopping salary of 5000 - 20,000. You could make more than that at Carl's Jr. are we or your girlfriend supposed to be impressed by this? you need to get on with your life.

Ogamii Ittoo wrote:

I am decent enough that I can travel around my home (I live in California) and pick up a 100-400 bucks at races on the weekend if I really wanted to.

I highly recommend training for The Cup. Many employers allow time off to train for this event. Serious condieration for this prestigious event is definitely called for. You know what they say, Go For The Cup! Go For The Cup!

Goon wrote:

With that schedule how would you even have time for a attention wanting girlfriend or anything resembling a social life?

First of all, I was adding in a little more time just in case this guy really wanted to pump out 140+ mpw. Second of all, this guy's concern was not with having the ideal social life, or having 3 kids that he needs to raise. It was presented as a choice between living at home and training full time at 25 years old, or moving out and getting a job. I was simply pointing out that if you're willing to sacrifice, you can do both. Personally I have a great time running right after work, hopping in the shower, and then heading out for dinner and a few drinks. Maybe I could have even more fun if I stayed out until 1 or 2 in the morning, but that's the choice I make, and I don't consider myself nearly as serious as this guy comes off as. And as far as girlfriends go, have you ever considered dating a fellow runner?

What are your track times?

OP, gather the opinion of guys 20+ years older than you. The younger guys dont have the perspective.

1) Dump GF. The two of you have different goals.

2) Set up a situation to maximize running success.

3) Find some type of job situation that allows you to maximize running sucess but still work.

4) Put an end date on this entire process. i.e. after 2012 trials rethink the goal and possibly move on. That still gives you a 30 plus year work career. Plenty of time to find a woman, get married etc...

IMO you need to go for it. Look at Amy Yoder, injuries, issues, yet she stuck with it and is an Olympian.

Good luck.

Yoder was a two-time NCAA NATIONAL CHAMPION. Quite a different situation. Just because she can do it, doesn't mean you can.

Thank you for all the replies. They are extremely helpful and insightful, even the negative ones.

I didn't mention this but in regards to the job:

I have been interested in getting into the fitness field. My goal is to become a personal trainer so I am going to be taking one of the certification tests and hopefully working as a trainer in the near future.

I don't know if there's a lot of money in it, but at least it will be a job that promotes a healthy lifestyle and not a 9-5 office deal.

It took you 1.5 hours or more to drive 7 miles home from work? That is mind-blowing. Where is your commute? Holland Tunnel?

FREE HIM wrote:

I solved this by commuting to work via running. 7 miles each way. Sure, running with a backpack wasn't ideal, but it enabled me to get in enough mileage to throw a workout in on Saturday with an easy longrun on Sunday.

Surprisingly enough, this opened my schedule up tremendously. Commute took less time, so I could leave home at 7am and be at work at 8-8:15. I had a shower in the building, which made it easier. Commute home was the biggie. I used to spend upwards of an hour and a 1/2 in the car, but now got home in 40-45 minutes. More time for my wife and kids, no internal decisions about skipping the run tonight, etc.

Get creative.

HAHAHA, yes. Lived in MD and worked in NoVa. Sometimes it took longer.

No joke.

BTW, 7 mile run, not 7 mile drive.

Ogamii Ittoo wrote:

Right out of college I got a 45 hour a week job in and worked there for a few months and couldn't make running happen.

Then you weren't trying hard enough. There are people who make it happen with more than that.