does anyone else have a feeling of serious existential dread?

The old religious governance "meek shall inherit the earth" beat down has survived and is deeply embedded in our "secular" culture. It's really bad for a democracy. I would imagine this impacts 'existential dread' negatively too.

I'm only ~50. The rest of the world's always been bad, dude, and it always will be until human civilization finally matures and gets out of the child / tween / teenage years. We're probably a good 500 years away assuming humans don't end up destroying the Earth.

The fact that you bring up "past 3 years" with "die from lockdowns due to hunger" (and not concerned about the actual disease) tells me you're upset that the big bad cRats are in power over the Pyoobes, which is why kitty is so sad. Don't worry, the pendulum will swing back, and the human chimpanzees on all sides of the aisle will continue to throw their poop around because it makes them feel good. Keep your head up.

One more thing - check out “The Great British Bake Show” its beautiful in every way.

Netflix

today's events across the pond indicate we're accelerating toward a global conflict

those who have hijacked our country are too sick and deluded to realize it's self-immolation

Yeah, get back on the meds. Benzo and ssri withdrawal is the worst.

Absolutely. Praying is much more effective than actually doing something pro-active.

So when is he gonna show up to save us all this Jesus/God fella?

What you're experiencing now is an invitation to go on an inner journey. As you've correctly surmised, you won't find the answers to your questions in the material world or any sort of absolute religious authority or a philosophical truth. I could tell you the answers to your questions, but you wouldn't believe me if I did... you can only begin to grasp what you need to learn from a place of nonconceptual knowing or "awareness", via meditation practices in the Buddhist or secular traditions. It would seem only those who begin to suffer in this life end up going on this particular journey... you're not alone in that.

I'm going to leave a couple of excerpts from a book called Opening the Hand of Thought written by a Soto Zen Buddhist monk named Kosho Uchiyama.

"Probably the vast majority of the four billion people in the world
today live only in terms of pursuing material happiness. In thinking
about their lives, most people devote almost all their energies to the
pursuit of material happiness, or health, or prosperity. In contrast to
that is the way of life in which we look to some Absolute to be the
authority for our life, depending on a god or some idea to validate
our way of life. A third approach is to search for some sort of
permanent philosophical Truth—but so often what we find is
something that has little or no connection to ourselves as individuals."

"One day at Antaiji, I received a visit from a fifty-year-old American
businessman who was the president of his own company. I speak only
Japanese, but since he brought along an excellent interpreter, we had
no trouble communicating. He said this to me:

'I have plenty of money and a wonderful family, but for some
reason that I can’t explain, about ten years ago I began to feel a
terrible loneliness in my life. So I began studying Judaism, though I
was unable to find any contentment in it. Then I studied
Christianity, but I was unable to find any satisfaction there, either.
Then, a few years ago, I heard a lecture on Zen Buddhism and began
to feel that in Zen I might be able to find something that would
satisfy me, and I’ve been studying Zen ever since. I’ve come to Japan
to study Zen more deeply, and I wonder what you think about this
feeling of loneliness I have.'

In reply to his very sincere statement and question, I said:
'Did it ever occur to you that this feeling of dissatisfaction or
emptiness might be caused by your searching for the value, the basis,
or recognition of your existence only in things outside yourself, such
as in your property, or in work, or in your reputation? This empty
feeling of yours probably comes up because you haven’t yet found this
basis within the reality of your own true self. In other words, you feel
a hollowness in your life because you have always lived only in
relation to other people and things, and haven’t been living out your
true self.'

My response seemed to fit his idea of himself exactly, and being
moved by this, he immediately agreed with me. 'It’s just as you say.
My day-to-day life seems to be filled with living in relation to things
outside of myself. I’m sure this has to be why I feel such an emptiness
inside. But…well, what should I do about it?' I replied: 'You will
never be able to resolve the uneasiness in your life by drifting around
seeking things outside yourself. It is crucial to live out the truth of
the self, which is self living the reality of universal self. Zazen puts
this into actual practice. My late teacher Kōdō Sawaki Roshi used to
say, ‘Zazen is the self doing itself by itself.’

He nodded as if my words had been just what he had expected and
went on, 'That is exactly what I thought zazen was. I would very
much like your permission to do zazen here at Antaiji.'

My replies to his questions were not just my personal opinions. I
merely told him what has been recorded in Buddhist sutras since
ancient times. In the Suttanipata, one of the oldest Buddhist sutras, it
is written, 'To depend on others is to be unstable.' And in the
equally old Dhammapada is the passage, 'The foundation of the self is
only the self.'

This man was most unusual in his ability to accept these simple
but very important passages with such humility and readiness. In
most cases, much more explanation is necessary before a person can
accept such ideas."