Quitting drinking

Trying again, the 2nd one wrote:

Trying again, the 2nd one wrote:

This is my 45th day. I broke my record! Feel lots better, running feels easier and should get to 60 days no problem. My blood pressure is back to normal as well.

64 days.

Anyone else fighting the struggle? The longer I go the less the struggle.

3 months as of today. It crossed my mind that it's odd that sometimes several days go by without thinking about drinking.

I’m not trying to hijack the thread, just have a situation I think experienced drinkers may know the answer to.

Drinking makes me exhausted. Even if I only have 2 drinks, the next day I am exhausted all day long. Is this normal, does alcohol make you tired? Or is it just me? I really want to be able to drink more but I can’t, it just takes too much out of me so I rarely drink. I don’t know the answer to this. Why does alcohol make me so tired? Is this unusual?

Trying again, the 2nd one wrote:

Trying again, the 2nd one wrote:

64 days.

Anyone else fighting the struggle? The longer I go the less the struggle.

3 months as of today. It crossed my mind that it's odd that sometimes several days go by without thinking about drinking.

116 days. I actually stopped counting days and now it's months. It will be 4 months on Sunday. My blood pressure is normal, weight is down, sleeping better and hit pb's at my goal track meet this past weekend.

The one thing I remember about a certain relative quitting drinking was how happy his wife was during social get-togethers.

I'd never seen her smiling that much.

When he started drinking again, all those smiles went away and they divorced.

He met someone else who loves to drink, and now they hammer alcohol together.

I have had a rough couple of years since I posted this. My drinking has gotten worse, I’ve continued gaining weight. Depression worse, job performance worse, energy worse, parenting worse, you name it.

Luckily- no, MIRACULOUSLY I’ve still not gotten a DUI...despite drinking right after work most days. And being either partly or completely drunk almost every day since I posted that above.

Anyway, after a big blowout last week with the Mrs., I confided to her, for the first time ever, that I was aware I drink too much and I needed to quit. She was happier and more supportive that I expected her to be, given what an a-hole I’ve become. I don’t feel I deserve any sympathy from her at this point.

So this is day 5 for me, and I am planning to go to AA for the first time in my life tomorrow. I deluded myself for years that I could control myself without help, but I’ve finally accepted that’s not true.

Even though I feel “better” after 5 days off, I no longer think I can stay sober alone- too much of my social and recreational life has revolved around alcohol for far too long. I feel like I’ve lost a friend.

But then, I can see what it’s doing at home, and I’m tired of hurting everyone.

I’m a little dubious about what I’m going to encounter at this meeting. I’m not religious and if someone tells me I should be then I’m not going back- I’m not replacing one delusion with another.

But I also need to talk to someone who’s been down this road. Because I do NOT trust myself to stay sober.

Sorry to hear it's been so hard. AA is definitely the place to start - just keep an open mind and don't be too quick to 'compare out.' Some people are going to sound like they were way worse off than you and some won't sound so bad at all. If it's too weird or seems super religious (instead of spiritual, as it is meant to be), try another meeting. Listen for shares you can relate to, and find someone you could feel comfortable talking to. That's why we're all there.

drunk wrote:

Sorry to hear it's been so hard. AA is definitely the place to start - just keep an open mind and don't be too quick to 'compare out.' Some people are going to sound like they were way worse off than you and some won't sound so bad at all. If it's too weird or seems super religious (instead of spiritual, as it is meant to be), try another meeting. Listen for shares you can relate to, and find someone you could feel comfortable talking to. That's why we're all there.

+1

Trying again, the 2nd one - way to go! Well done!

Pasquale Sanfillippo - It's great that you told your wife and that she is so supportive. I have tried AA too and I am currently attending 3-4 meetings a week.

I haven't been able to stop yet but I have reduced the amount I drink, don't drink during the day anymore, and I made a friend!

Follow "drunk"'s advice.

AA may not even be for you but it may be. Give it a go, don't judge people there, get to know them.

This friend I've made was a person I instantly disliked. In time that changed and I was so, so wrong. Amazing person who's helping me a lot.

I am so sick of this. The daily hangovers, the fatigue, the running... I rarely enjoy running anymore. I go running in quieter (than my favorite routes) places because I am embarrassed at my excessive sewating and bloated stomach.

Recently I stayed sober for 3 days. On the 4th day, before drinking, I went for a run and I was sweating noticeably less, my stomach was not as bloated and I could breathe better.

I really want what "Trying again, the 2nd one" is experiencing now.

bump

Well, I did not go to AA that next day but I finally did last night, on my 13th day of sobriety. It was a "newcomers" meeting.

I could not believe how many people were there. When I pulled in the parking lot they were hanging out everywhere talking and smoking and seeming to really enjoy each other's company. I was expecting a little circle of 6 or 8 chairs, but there were 30 people in that room.

I was really nervous when I entered the church basement. I took the seat closest to the door.

They started by reading out loud the 12 steps and 12 traditions, which I heard before, and some other things I hadn't. Eventually the guy running the meeting asked if anyone was there for the first time. I sheepishly raised my hand and the room filled with cheers and applause. Somebody hugged me and handed me a coin.

After that, they started giving out chips for 1 month, 2months, 6 months etc. A lot of people got chips.

Then for an hour I listened to people's stories of being down and out, then getting their lives back. Or getting to really live for the first time. One younger guy had checked out of rehab for the evening to come to the meeting and it was his 4th trip to rehab in 8 years...never sober longer than 13 months. He seemed really intelligent and I felt awful for him.

But the hardest/best thing about the experience was that just about every person that spoke eventually turned at me to finish their story. There was lots of advice and encouragement for the newcomer. And there was a lot in those stories that hit home. It was hard because I felt deeply ashamed to be there, and I was embarrassed to have eyes on me the whole time. I had only gone there to listen and didn't want any attention at all. What I got was the polar opposite! But it was good because they all seemed genuinely happy I was there and sincerely wanted me to be helped. A lot of people my age which I was glad about.

When the meeting was over people were hugging me and talking to me and asking me to come back. I was handed a paper that had gone around the room and had 13 names and phone numbers on it- I'm to call any or all of them this week if need be. I felt like a little kid, but it was really touching how genuinely concerned they all seemed.

On the way home I realized how lucky I am.

There was a study of a retirement home that had like 1400 people that ended up living to be over 100 and 2 of the common factors of those people were 1-3 cups of coffee per day and 45 mins of exercise a day.

RunningRough wrote:

There was a study of a retirement home that had like 1400 people that ended up living to be over 100 and 2 of the common factors of those people were 1-3 cups of coffee per day and 45 mins of exercise a day.

Does the term "non-sequitur" mean anything to you?

This is a great thread! You all are inspirational for sharing your stories. I'm cheering for everyone's success.

Thanks for sharing your story, and good for you!

I finally have come to grips with the idea that I have a bit of a problem. If there is no alcohol around, I don't drink. If there is, I drink it until it's gone, no saving it for later. I buy a six pack or 12 pack or bottle of wine and tell myself that I will spread it out over a few days. But I might drink it over a day or two. There is no moderation. So the only way to stop myself from drinking is not buy anything. I don't go out to drinking to establishments or drinking with friends more than once a week, if that, so I'm not too worried about those scenarios.

The poster that said quitting drinking is like losing a friend hit the nail on the head. Most of my drinking is alone in my apartment when I am just passing the time in the evening or on the weekends. I see it as a harmless way to relax or just make mundane household activities a little less boring. It's a way to entertain myself in the absence of company.

But it's not harmless. Beyond the obvious physical effects, I think it's really a way to numb the pain from loneliness and indecision about the direction of my life. Dealing with those issues is more difficult than just drinking so I don't have to feel anything.

Oh, and have not had a drink since Sunday. I would like to make it through the weekend without drinking for once. That would be nice.

Law enforcement would rather you drink home alone than out at a PUB; your psychologist would rather you drink at a PUB. Drinking home alone is awful for one's mental health.

Thanks. I actually broke my streak yesterday. But, I'm fine with it. I got to 4 months and 8 days and the goal was just to not drink until my goal race at the end of July.

I didn't get drunk either last night. I just added some vodka to my lemonade but couldn't drink all of it since I got sleepy. The goal now is to prove I can be a social drinker (just weekends) and not get hammered every night. I have another goal race in December (XC) so that helps to stay focused.

OP here: How's it going? I hope things have improved since your last post.

law enforcement but not your psychologist wrote:

Law enforcement would rather you drink home alone than out at a PUB; your psychologist would rather you drink at a PUB. Drinking home alone is awful for one's mental health.

So the solution is to only drink at pubs within walking distance? Got it.

Trying again, the 2nd one wrote:

I didn't get drunk either last night. I just added some vodka to my lemonade but couldn't drink all of it since I got sleepy. The goal now is to prove I can be a social drinker (just weekends) and not get hammered every night. I have another goal race in December (XC) so that helps to stay focused.

Rooting for you here. I hope you can keep it under control!

I am still drinking but in the last 2 weeks I have reduced the intake by 1/3. Still a bit too much but I feel that it's a huge step in the right direction for me and I am starting to feel some more energy.

Pasquale Sanfillippo: thank you for the detailed post. i am very happy that it was a good experience for you.