Heya Let's Run- total non-runner Just Bill from Whiteblaze.
You folks got a crazy funhouse over here! Took a quick peek but I can't really tell who bombed who, why you spell moron two different ways when dumb as will do and if you're playing discus, running or discussing things. Oh deer- what a sight.
Though I hear your fat girl is actually a pretty good looking runner and you definitely cracked the secret message hidden in Kaiha's trail name, so congrats on that. And now that you mention it, a meatball sangwich with all the fixins does sound durn tasty- do you runners serve those at aide stations? Maybe I should start running.
Anywho…
Yar, Whiteblaze is mainly a site for nice folks and has a fair bit of moderation. But much like on the trail; folks are generally nice to each other in real life, might as well keep cyber-hiking half civil too. Saves trying to skim through 20 pages of stuff looking for something- though running into the occasional good zinger helps some I suppose. And much like the ultra- running community- we got our fair share of nut jobs, former addicts, dreamers, crusty farts, crusty eye-talians, wandering souls and try to be inclusive.
Hike your own hike- better to be on trail than talking about one- blah blah blah. That and we're backpackers- generally like to be left alone to do our thing so other than my flappin yap- most on there don't say a ton unless they need to. More or less- don't piss in my cheerios and I won't shart in your cornflakes kinda place.
Now beating a dead horse can be pretty fun fer the first bit… and you can always take a break when yer arms get tired and come back. I mean, it's a dead horse- where's it gunna go? But trekking poles are expensive, and baseball bats are pretty heavy fer backpacking so after one or two good licks; pounding a dead horse gets kinda rough on the ol hands. I suppose you could get a few good kicks in but you go an get a black toe or break one and unfortunately we can't step out at the next aide station or put our piggies up on the couch after race day.
So fer the most part- we tend to walk on by a dead horse fair quick. That an when you're out in the woods fer a few weeks- well that sorta thing stinks extra good when yer sense of smell gets past the town limits. That and dead horses don't make good meatball sangwiches anyway.
You good folks get a few more cheaters than we do too- so folks find the whole thing distasteful generally on my side of the trail to even conceive of. And ya never know- if'n she did do it, we all look like a bunch of vaginal cleansing receptacles and Richard Craniums. Also- on a gentlemanly note- no reason to beat that dead horse when all that needs to be done is call in the highway department and let them scoop it up- you just get yerself all messy and feeling dirty otherwise and we generally only carry one pair of clothes.
But didn't stop by to piss in yer gel bottle- though that can be funny.
The AT is a very small place really, smaller yet with social media. While you fine folks credited me with some investigative prowess and gentlemanly behavior- neither are really correct. More or less- the trail kicked out all the facts lickety split and I simply put a few pieces together and messaged a few folks for firsthand accounts. Pulled out one of them map thingers too; we backpackers have to read those fairly often. With no race fees paid and course directors around for some reason all them handy pieces of survey tape aren't laying around to follow- but more or less it was that easy.
Now that said… and here come the good part…
I posted that stuff on a public forum as we were all working it out. Problem is, no matter what you want to give them credit for one way or another. It turns out them gals are indeed literate. So low and behold- a revised story emerged to consternate the smoking gun story that done just seemed to disprove the whole thing that'd just been disproved. Shnnuckered again by them duke girls.
Looks like several mice were killed too as a result after somebody started mashing the delete button on posts, comments, and pics that mighta proved durn useful in the long run. So there may come a time when LetsRun can run on over and help dig some of them back up. Otherwise PETe (People for the Ethical Treatment of Electronics) has been notified so rest assured all them dead mice will see justice.
So… they get a chance to turn in a trip report. Fair is fair. Them's the rules. Typically this is done before you go claiming stuff, but typically things don't go this way for us either.
Call this a speeding ticket. Don't look too good doing 70 MPD in a school zone and running over everyone's favorite goat in the process… but everyone gets their day in court. They could of course plead no contest and walk away but that ain't looking too likely.
So long story short- seemed right prudent to stop helping them out by poking holes in their final draft before they even published it. Hey might as well fill out their split sheet for them and see if'n they agree. So in the interest of seeing things work out proper- each party has called a recess until the Judge has all the evidence in hand. No point in passing notes to their defense attorney in the meantime.
Afore you give me any credit- it was that moran overbearing control freak Mod over there with the bright idea and good sense to realize when to stop the yapping. The judge stepped in too. Both are pretty good folks.
So if'n you wanna sit coiling rope around the town square- free country still- but they are still in the courthouse so might as well head to the saloon and grab a beer.
An hope you folks understand a good bit of humor when you see it- cause that's mainly funny stuff I tell you whayt.
Things will turn out just fine. An if'n nothing else, I just gave you folks enough gramatical lessoning to keep you busy revisin yer dictionary fer at least six days and one more.
Otherwise… not too sure bout you road runners :)
But trail runners, ultra-runners, and backpackers… we all love the woods alike. An none of us like our trail getting messed with. So happy to have you folks over here having fun, doing your part on the neighborhood watch and most of all- hope to see you out there.
Walk in peace- otherwise you get all sweaty running ;)
Just Bill
PS- I'm actually a Liar and only stopped by to promote my book. I've never even been backpacking- but boy this seemed like a good time all around so I jumped in. Still trying to figure out what FKT stands for actually.
Only got one book to my name- but oddly enough title is "Lying on the Trail"
Pretty fantastic co-winky dink I think.
Trail magic is a funny thing sometimes.