[During the episode where Kramer has been pretending to be a dermatologist]
Jerry: Do you know how hard it is to find a dermatologist in this city?
[Kramer slides in through the door, wearing the white lab coat]
Jerry: a REAL dermatologist?
[During the episode where Kramer has been pretending to be a dermatologist]
Jerry: Do you know how hard it is to find a dermatologist in this city?
[Kramer slides in through the door, wearing the white lab coat]
Jerry: a REAL dermatologist?
Same episode:
(While examining Mr Kruger)
Kramer: Male mammal... approximately 30 to 60 years of age... weight... ohhh, indeterminate.
"Here's to feeling good all the time."
-Kramer, The Sniffing Accountant. He then proceeds to chug a beer while smoking a cig, burps, and smoke comes out.
"I'm busting Jerry! I'm busting!"
-George, The Opposite, after he gets a Job with the Yankees.
"Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats! We're trying to watch the movie! And if I have to tell you again, we're gonna take it outside and I'm gonna show you what it's like! You understand me? Now, shut your mouths or I'll shut'em for ya, and if you think I'm kidding, just try me. Try me. Because I would love it!"
-George, The Opposite.
The jerk store called and they're running out of you!
When Kramer gets a job -
Jerry: What's in the briefcase?
Kramer: Crackers
"May I have one of those, Madam?"
-Kramer, talking to George after he bought ladies glasses (and referring to a pretzel).
Who's going to turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate. It's peppermint. It's delicious.
That's true.
It's very refreshing.
During Kramer's bus story
George: You're Batman!
Kramer: That's right, I am Batman!
Later..
"You kept making all the stops?"
"Well they kept ringing the bell!"
During "The Statue"
Kramer: Just keep making love to that wall you little pervert!
There's a naked woman across the street, I'm dating a virgin, I'm in this contest...Something's gotta give!
I like sports, maybe I could do something in sports.
Kramer while not wearing any underwear "I feel like a naked innocent boy roaming the country side"
"Do you want get hurt? Because I can hurt you." - Gay Puerto Rican to Kramer.
Not really a quote but George's answering machine.
You can stuff your sorry's in a sack mister!
"That's Gold, Jerry!
LELAND: Well, I'm sorry. There's just no way that we could keep you on.
KRAMER: I don't even really work here!
LELAND: That's what makes this so difficult.
"Then we'll go watch 'em slice this fat b*stard up."
Also--"Sons of bitches!"
The Switch - "Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?"