Eddie Hellebuyck "'Yeah,' he says, 'I did it.'"

I think everyone involved in running should read this story.

People will have a lot of opinions about him.

But don't look at it as a story about a person but a story about the sport and a story about the consequences of decisions you make.

For the sport, there are a lot of dopers out there. People often accuse certain runners of doping without great evidence.

They also proclaim certain runners as being clean without really knowing the truth and put them on a pedestal above others.

You never know who's clean. I hate when people make lists of the greatest clean athletes. You just don't know.

Then the consequences of a decision to dope.

The guilt you will have to live with. The relationships you will destroy. An uncertain professional future.

Eddy is going to have this hanging over him forever.

His life is worse for this decision.

Antonio Pettigrew took his own life while struggling with the admission of his guilt and how difficult it was to live with this.

I hope all athletes and those involved in coaching read this before making any decision to get involved with PEDs.

You may win some but you have a whole lot lose.

You may win some but you have a whole lot to lose.

The first time I met Shawn Hellebuyck was, coincidentally, very soon after Eddy reports having started doping. My impression at the time--and I don't get this sort of vibe often--was "now there's a person who'll do *anything* to get her way. She'll be nice as you please if it's to her advantage and as mean as a snake if it moves her further into the cash pile."

As the RW story shows, this impression was no accident. She's known all along about his doping, of course, but fought every step of the way to keep the sham alive, even after Eddy himself was worn down and finally ready, even craving, to salavage what he could of his own conscience if not reputation. She helped file his appeals, lied to John Brant, interposed herself between Eddy and Brant during the whole process of collecting information for the story, and right until the end was full of insanely brazen and craven excuses, e.g., "Hey, Eddy was just small-time! The *real* cheats are on systematic regimens involving hGH!" as if Eddy had not scored ill-gotten gains to the tune of thousands of dollars.

On top of that are the things visitors to the Albequerque house that has been infamous in running circles since at least the late 1990s. Sure, anyone renting rooms to untold numbers of transient runners over a period of years is going to accumulate a fair number of sour judgments concerning their hospitality. But the nature and penetration of *these* complaints, along with other similar ones I have heard and my own assessment of the couple, has me strongly doubting any refutation by the Hellebuycks of the charges against them.

Eddy himself may be genuinely contrite, or maybe he's just hoping that the passage of years alone will soften the inevitable backlash from other runners. Probably a blend of both. But one thing is plain: While Eddy sold his conscience up the river, he at least appears to have retained shreds of it. His wife, by contrast, is a bona fide sociopath, an unrepentant wretch who is not only a complete stranger to the slightest whiff of contrition, but also cannot even *fake* being at all regretful for the sake of her own husband's quest, however justifiable, to achieve some peace or make symbolic restitution or whetever. In the end I'd let Eddy coach my kids but would not allow Shawn Hellebuyck within a half-mile of anyone in my family.

I haven't read the posts (I did read the article), and as an attorney, it stands out to me that he first admitted doping about 6 years after he got caught. Interesting that he admits it after the statute of limitations would likely bar many suits.

Granted, he did test positive, so people could have sued then.

basher wrote:

I bashed Eddy on here. I had a good reason for it. He cheated. I do give him credit though for coming 'clean'. It doesn't make it right, but it does take balls to publicly admit you screwed up, especially when your kid sees it. Unlike the vast majority of dopers Eddy earned back a bit of my respect & I wish him well in the future.

That's pretty much how I feel.

If we rip people when the confess, then that only encourages them all to keep denying.

I got an email last week from a reporter from the Atlantic. He wants to do a story on a repentant doper. I could't think of a single distance runner off the top of my head who said, "Yeah I did it and I'm sorry." Did Cathal Lombard repent?

As for Eddy and Shawn, they were some of the first people I met on the circuit. This was when I sucked as a runner in 1997 and 1998 and didn't have letsrun.com. They had no reason to be nice to me but were. That didn't mean the second he tested positive I didn't believe his claims of innocence.

I also found it ironic that it was from them I heard some of the first specific doping allegations against others regarding EPO use. This was before Eddy was using if you believe his timeline.

As for the Shvetsov doping allegation, I'm not surprised at all. As the article says a lot of people had heard of doping allegations against him but he did quite well on the roads for a while.

wejo wrote:

As for the Shvetsov doping allegation, I'm not surprised at all.

It doesn't get more obvious than this dude. Maybe a 49-year old female 73 min. half marathoner comes close. But other than that?

wejo wrote:

I got an email last week from a reporter from the Atlantic. He wants to do a story on a repentant doper. I could't think of a single distance runner off the top of my head who said, "Yeah I did it and I'm sorry." Did Cathal Lombard repent?

I'd be far more interested in someone who admits having doped despite *not* getting caught, even if it's years after his or her competitive career has ended. It's a sad state of affairs when the good guys, or at least the rare cases, are the people with the "guts" to admit the obvious after years of cheating and finally submitting some dirty piss. And where financial restitution is for whatever reason unlikely or not feasible, these truly repentant folks ought to consider some in-sport community service, and I don't mean going from school to school telling kids "drugs are bad, m'kay?" like Mr. Mackey, but volunteering their time and expertise in ways it could make a difference, like volunteer coaching in underserved areas and so on.

great article. i hope this encourages others to come clean.

John Brant's excellent journalism is a pleasure. I will look for his reports on any future controversial topics.

About Eddy Hellebuyck, I am thankful it was not Bill Rodgers or one my other heroes who doped. It still bothers me though, because I have always felt that road racing is special, a sport for the pure amateur who runs for the joy of it. Of course it still is that on the amateur level.

I think I understand the process that Eddy went through. Think of how running helped his identity, self-confidence and development as a young man. I would say he showed good character when he chose to run, rather than load a gun, take it to school, and kill his abusive schoolmates. He chose not to harm himself, but chose life. Remember Columbine. Being mocked and stuffed in a trashcan is very hard on a kid's self-confidence. Remember Graham Obree, the cyclist known as the "Flying Scotsman". Graham tried to take his own life; Eddy did not. Both used sport to establish their self-identity and enhance their self-esteem. Graham Obree became a multi-world champion. Eddy Hellebuyck wanted to be an Olympic marathoner. He needed to achieve a peak similar to Graham Obree's. But he was falling short. For years Leonid Shvetsov had been tempting Eddy to dope. Eddy showed good character and refused for years. Eddy could have avoided Shvetsov, but he did not. He could have moved from the community. Finally he succumbed to Shvetsov. He decided to dope. And once he was in, made a huge improvement, and believed EPO could give him his dream that would forever establish his identity and self-esteem, he was hooked.

That is the cruelty of chemically addictive drugs. That is the cruelty of EPO, a socially addictive drug. And that is the irresponsibility of the people who are in a position of authority in the system, who benefit from the event and athletes setting records, yet do not involve themselves to protect the sport. The athletes, the event leadership, the paid governing bodies, and the advertisers take the money and run. Capitalism does not justify social irresponsibility. Punishment is not mentoring. Every athlete who went through Albuquerque, New Mexico and had not the courage to say anything still bear the shame on their own conscience for the fall of their brother. Eddy Hellebuyck stands above those who remain silent. And for that he has my full respect.

FogRunner

Thank you Eddy for your confession. Who has the guts to be the next to confess? Whoever is dirty, come clean now so that you can start a new life, start sleeping well again, and show your family, friends, and yourself that at least now you are trying to do the right thing. Don't wait, do it now. Email letsrun if you have too, just get it over with, and be a man.

Props to Eddie for coming clean. He is a bigger man than most.

well it kind of depends - is he confessing for the right reasons - and that is up to each to decide on their own (is it because he wants to be a better role model for son, or wants to be able to sleep at night, or wants to clean up the sport, or is truly sorry for what he did, etc.

i will forgive when he pays back all the ill gotten good...he knows what races this involves and can easily look up all the names of those he cheated and send them their due money....and he can ask that all his times and records during this period be nullified.

of course he does not have to do any of these things, but if he is really about doing the right thing and sending a good messages to his son and perhaps the kids he coaches - this certainly would go along way toward teaching the concept of taking responsibility for his actions.

eddie chose to break the rules.

eddie should not be seen as a hero for coming clean. eddie is a cheat.

eddie is not coming clean to help others, eddie wants attention.

eddie was dirty for long before he admits. eddie owes money to those he beat while cheating.

all top runners have the opportunity to cheat, many don't, many do, eddie did.

as for wejo's comments, as usual they are about wejo.

remember wejo perpetuated the henry rono thread after the warnings and pleas of many to stop.

so sad.

go away eddie.

please.

Interesting that nobody on here asks the obvious next question...

He admitted to doping in 200X-200X.

Do we believe that he was clean before that?

Of course he was clean at some point, but he admits to a period of time - what about immediately before that?

What about Teddy Mitchell? Dude was doped as well for a spell. 33 min 10k and then 29 min 10k?

Nope.

Another important question -

Is EPO use as difficult to detect today as it was when he describes it?

What connection did Teddy have with Eddy?

He's getting way too much credit for coming clean many years after the fact, under scrutiny of a journalist, after an enormous amount of systematic cheating followed by years of denial. There's nothing praiseworthy here.

I was surprised also that Teddy Mitchell's name didn't come up in the article despite all the names that were thrown out there. Admittedly Teddy didn't make the kind of money Eddie did but he did have a spell when he was running with Eddie where he ran very well. Heck, he used to go around saying he was 'coaching' Eddie. Would like to hear Eddie shame Teddy like he did the Russian guy (who has the Comrades record and was still running 2:13/14 in his late 30s)

TeddyTeddy wrote:

What connection did Teddy have with Eddy?