Girlfriend or Turkey Trot

Well I'll be honest...I already planned on going, I just wanted to know whether people thought I was a jerk if I went.

I see what some of you are saying. I'll obviously invite her, but I know she won't go. I agree with 1marriedguy though. Once I'm married I won't beable to miss a holiday or have as much freedom. It's not just about the road race. It's the whole excitement of the Turkey Trot and festivities afterwords.

Just to clarify a few things... This is the closest Turkey Trot to my house (2 hrs away). It's not like I'll be plowing beers in the tent pissing my pants. I will be plowing beers in the tent pissing my pants with his family. They are an exciting bunch. It's not like I don't enjoy spending holiday's with my girlfriend. She's a cool person to hang out with. It's just I'd rather take up the chance to hang out with a good friend and have a good time on Thanksgiving.

She will get mad at me. No doubt. I just wanted some comfort in knowing I'm not acting like the worst guy out there when I do this.

The question now is...how do I tell her? I don't want my legs broken.

When she finds out you can always go live with your buddy.

Ask her point blank: "is this how you act when you can't get your way?"

Better to know now (I think you already do) before it's too late (engagement, wedding planning, deposits for vendors and venues, etc; let alone actually getting married). And don't think she'll "change", if anything she'll be more possessive.

In the grand scheme of things there are more important things to fight over than a boyfriend wanting to hang out with a buddy for a day (money, infidelity, lack of quality time/too much work, relocating, etc.). Hell, the wife and I have been apart every Thanksgiving since we've been going out (I do visit her family the next day or the day before-gotta show some respect).

If she's truly "the one", she should see that she loses you for a day but has you for essentially the rest of her life. If she can't, well at least enjoy the "benefits" until things (eventually) breakdown.

Don't invite her if you don't intend for her to come. No reason to soften the blow--you are the man in the relationship.

Absolutely right. A girl who wants to tear you away from your friends isn't a girl you want to commit to. If she succeeds, you will be miserable and she will lose respect for you.

Leashed wrote:

No. I pull and pray. Let's stay on topic FrankyG.

Please tell us that was facetious...

There are probably a few here that can tell you that doesn't always work.

Hell, birth control doesn't always work.

'I see what some of you are saying. I'll obviously invite her, but I know she won't go'

That's exactly the reason you should ask her

Well - how about this?

Think of some girly treat she really likes - a manicure/pedicure, a trip to a spa, a massage, whatever. Then, offer to treat her to it in exchange for cutting you loose on Thanksgiving Day.

Then, it's in her court, which she'll like. If she decides she'd rather have the spa day, then she can brag to her family about how she drove a good bargain. If she decides she really wants YOU there ... well, you'll have to decide what to do then.

doch! wrote:

Well - how about this?

Think of some girly treat she really likes - a manicure/pedicure, a trip to a spa, a massage, whatever. Then, offer to treat her to it in exchange for cutting you loose on Thanksgiving Day.

Then, it's in her court, which she'll like. If she decides she'd rather have the spa day, then she can brag to her family about how she drove a good bargain. If she decides she really wants YOU there ... well, you'll have to decide what to do then.

This is a terrible idea.

RC3 wrote:

doch! wrote:

Well - how about this?

Think of some girly treat she really likes - a manicure/pedicure, a trip to a spa, a massage, whatever. Then, offer to treat her to it in exchange for cutting you loose on Thanksgiving Day.

Then, it's in her court, which she'll like. If she decides she'd rather have the spa day, then she can brag to her family about how she drove a good bargain. If she decides she really wants YOU there ... well, you'll have to decide what to do then.

This is a terrible idea.

Depends whether it is a Lesbian spa or not.

I used "pull and pray" for 8 yrs probably averaging 4-5 times/wk. When we decided to have kids - boom - pregnant the first month. It's the idiots that can't really "pull" that give this technique a bad name.

Logic wrote:

I used "pull and pray" for 8 yrs probably averaging 4-5 times/wk. When we decided to have kids - boom - pregnant the first month. It's the idiots that can't really "pull" that give this technique a bad name.

Yeah, like the Catholics.

A girlfriend is something wonderful, to be cherished, like a rainbow they are beautiful and you never know how long they will last. The gifts they give are like pots of overflowing gold at the end and the leprechaun is the sex shop owner who gives you a magical new toy that takes your lovemaking to beautiful, wonderful new heights.

I used pull and pray for close to 9 years after the birth of our second kid, however I did start to worry about having a new born in our 40s, so I decided to get clipped anyway.

Get Real Real wrote:

Leashed wrote:

No. I pull and pray. Let's stay on topic FrankyG.

Please tell us that was facetious...

There are probably a few here that can tell you that doesn't always work.

Hell, birth control doesn't always work.

I'm obviously kidding about the pull and pray...I sometimes just pray.

Thanks for the responses 1marriedguy and RC3. That makes sense. We'll see how it turns out.

stucco with match.com wrote:

A girlfriend is something wonderful, to be cherished, like a rainbow they are beautiful and you never know how long they will last.

Are you drunk?

1married guy and RC3 gave you excellent advice. I've been happily married for 22 years, 2 kids. If you're serious about this girl and considering making her your wife, you will argue about a lot more important things than just going to a Turkey Trot. If she won't let you have that small slice of freedom, run, don't walk, in the other direction as fast as you can.

Where will you better Thanksgiving chow?

Go to the Trot. You can ask to be forgiven but if are not NEAR the beer you can't ask FOR beer.

Besides, if you cave in on this she will have by the plums for the rest of your life.

Just bring her back her favorite kind of pie when you show up to ask her to forgive you.

We need an update on this!