Running after College - Need advice from older guys

Hopefully I can cut through some of the BS and provide a real answer since I am about 5 years your senior and found myself in a similar spot...

Okay, first the girl. I do not know her, but I take it that you love her (like her a lot). If not, end it. If I am correct in thinking that you love her, please understand her position. She wants to be with you. She wants to start a family, or at least prepare to do this. This is not selfish on her part, this is natural. She has probably heard you talk about living off of Ramen and training like an animal. She wants no part in this. I bet if you come up with a solid plan, you can convince her to support your mission. She probably just wants to see that you are serious about this. Do not fault her for her comments thus far, she just cares about you and your future together.

When I first came out of school, I had a sub 31 XC and track time, so I knew I could improve on the track and run some good road times. I too wanted the OQ mark. I was very wishy-washy about planning for this, and my girlfriend was suspicious. I basically complained about my job, said i was going to quit and train, but had no concrete plans. We almost broke up b/c I accused her of being selfish, wanting me to join the rat-race, etc.

One day she sat me down and said, "Listen, I love you and want you to follow your dreams, but I also have a life. How can we do this together?"

I respected that, and figured out a way to do it. I took a paid internship that was Part-time and worked at a running store. This allowed me to gain workplace experience but also didn't put the restraints on my running time. I typically worked from 9-1pm, just doing crap work, but it was a resume filler - IMPORTANT. Running store provided decent cash and flexibility. I helped at a few camps, etc for extra cash. All -in-all, I got up for a morning run at 7am, was at the office by 9 and then went to the store, where we just took turns leaving to work out. It really wasn't that hard.

Did I qualify in the 26.2? No, but I ran fast. I spent 2 years training my ass off and was fit as a fiddle as all my friends and former teammates got fat.

I married the girl and we have a family now. We are very happy, both run a good amount and remain fit. I am much happier as a result. Sure, I didn't qualify but I gave it a good shot. I got close to sub 29 on the track, really close and ran just a dozen seconds shy of the OT qualifier.

By the way, I have a great job, and I do think it was good I had that "workplace experience" for two years. It was when I was 24-27 that I did this, so with a gaping hole in your resume, it can be hard to get back into the workforce. Try to have something that at least sounds professional. Unfortunately, a lot of companies would see taking 2-3 years off to run as too "eccentric."

Listen, don't listen to people who tell you that you don't have a chance. It is worth it. I feel like I got rid of some demons by doing this.

My advice is to ignore the people who don't matter, sit down and talk to your girlfriend about a serious, tangible plan and then make it happen. You owe it to yourself.

Good Luck.

I'm still training for the 1984 Olympics

never give up

Start your career and run at the Oly Trials.

Training for the Marathon is the least time consuming of the Olympic events to train for. It is hard, and you have to do lots and lots of long runs, but you don't have to do all the tedious drills, stretching etc...

Get up early and run hard for an hour every day before work. For doubles, run either during your lunch break, or after work. On the weekend get in your long run and you'll be set.

Far too many runners think they need to love and breathe running 100% of the time to be the best, when more often than not, this approach makes them over think things and they regress.

How many girls on your college team studied in excess of 40 hours per week? the work world is no different, you just have to be a little more disciplined and get up early and run.

The other benefit of running in the morning, is you are far less likely to suffer from over training or pushing the pace too fast on easy days.

ood luck

let go its over... wrote:

why would i want company?

I no longer run, living with a great girlfriend, heaps of friends that i now actually have time to see, can go out for beers on a friday night? have a great job that i actually like and pays awesome...and i'm not constantly tired.

Once you stop running you realize how much more to life there is..running keeps you in a isolated little shell of living to run...

Running is not that rewarding when you think about it.. thinking about how you train all year long and you might run 7 or 8 races...barring marathon that go for less that 30 minutes...

I couldn't agree more with this poster. I'm in the same boat. Stopped running a couple of years ago and am still in my 20's and am enjoying life to its fullest right now.

Running paid for college, provided for some GREAT memories, and taught me a lot of life lessons that I will always use. But there's a time to move on. And life is WONDERFUL if you can let it go and see what else is out there. Don't let it go completely and get fat. But let the dreams go and pursue some other things. I am also a person that is 1,000,000 times happier post-running than I ever was while doing it. I live in a great condo, work a job that I never dread going to (as I did often for running workouts), make great money doing it, and I don't weird everyone around me out like I did as a runner by having obnoxious goals and an arrogant attitude toward all non-runners.

Move on man. You'll be glad you did. Otherwise you'll wind up 40 yrs old still posting on this board, telling youngsters about the good ol' days when running was more difficult, etc. You'll be so turned off from the rest of the world as is evident with many on here. Don't become that guy.

Or you could become Patrick Bateman, as you have obviously become.

We are talking 2 years. Not that big of a deal. When you are 40, you will wish you had done the same. You have the rest of your life to live in a condo and go to work, believe me.

There is a difference between grabbing your balls and going for it 100% and being some 45 year old weirdo who hangs around the track. If anything, you have a better chance of becoming that weirdo when you realize your mistake at age 35 and try to make it back a la Eastbound & Down.

Actually I'm 29. So no, not 2 years. I was using "a couple" lightly, not literally. And each year is better and better since I stopped running. But yeah, I guess if you want to think everyone will be like you, then keep telling yourself that. And i'll keep waiting for such deep regret. haha that's a laugh. It's called I MOVED ON. Obviously you haven't yet. Truly move on, and you won't regret anything. You'll realize that running was just another big part of your life during your youth.

Not everyone winds up with an unhappy life just because they're not running. Like the other guy - I'm more than happy. Plenty. Loving life. But yeah, i'll hold my breath and wait to start crying that i miss running. haha. what a joke.

Great post, I just find it crazy you could run 29 in the 10k and not break 2:22.

1998 wrote:

Actually I'm 29. So no, not 2 years. I was using "a couple" lightly, not literally. And each year is better and better since I stopped running. But yeah, I guess if you want to think everyone will be like you, then keep telling yourself that. And i'll keep waiting for such deep regret. haha that's a laugh. It's called I MOVED ON. Obviously you haven't yet. Truly move on, and you won't regret anything. You'll realize that running was just another big part of your life during your youth.

Not everyone winds up with an unhappy life just because they're not running. Like the other guy - I'm more than happy. Plenty. Loving life. But yeah, i'll hold my breath and wait to start crying that i miss running. haha. what a joke.

You obviously haven't moved on b/c you are posting on a running message board about how great life is without running.

Something is rotten...

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

"Those who abandon their dreams will discourage yours." ~unknown

haha, YO wrote:

Great post, I just find it crazy you could run 29 in the 10k and not break 2:22.

Thanks. Yes, you and me both. Ultimately, it just came down to picking the wrong races and not having the pieces fall perfectly. I should have been able to do it, but you only get so many shots and I just could make it happen. I tried though, that is for sure.

As I am sure you know, the marathon is weird like that.

right... well get out your notebook and start keeping a tally. Because i'm not on here very often. And i post VERY infrequently. But this is obviously a topic that hit me personally not too long ago. So it caught my attention and now I"m re-reading to see where it goes. Big deal. In my opinion, this is the wrong place to ask the original question because you will get the wrong answer over and over again. "keep running" "go for it!" "you'll regret it later!"... riiiiiight.

I have nothing to prove. You can have running and making the OT. haha. I'll take what I want from it and continue to enjoy life.

I don't have much respect for guys who NEVER change. Guys who have supposedly figured out things when they were 20 and still do the same things at 40. I respect much more the people who've been on both sides.

Cheers! Get your 2:22 and see if it is really worth it.

A Serious Answer wrote:

Thanks. Yes, you and me both. Ultimately, it just came down to picking the wrong races and not having the pieces fall perfectly. I should have been able to do it, but you only get so many shots and I just could make it happen. I tried though, that is for sure.

As I am sure you know, the marathon is weird like that.

Yeah, it is wierd. Sorry you didn't make it.

I think you are confusing me with the OP. I am a year older than you, have a solid career, a wife, family and own a nice house in a great city. I still run quite a bit, though race mostly marathons these days. I am more of a 2:35 guy. I never though I could hit the OT qualifier.

I have no beef with your life choice. Why you are on here trying to discourage someone from theirs is what I find strange.

I think he has gotten great advice, particularly from A Serious Answer, who made it work for him.

You can have a career, run, and a family as many posters have said. It isn't easy, and there is not a lot of extra time in your week. But, if you really want it, you can do it.

I continued running after college dreaming of the OT for the marathon, and actually ran the time, but in an off year. My first marathon was when i was 20 yr old 2:22:26. At the age of 35, ran 2:22:35 just missing by 35 seconds the mark needed that year. Also, ran 2:21:09 in an off year.

During this time, I had 3 young boys, the first born when i was 22 yr old just after finishing college. I also started my career and progressed and now have the 6 figure job. I continued to run and competed as a masters runner.

I did have some failures such as a divorce after 27 yrs of marriage. I don't think running was a big contributing factor as my ex spouse did not use that as an excuse--although I was very focused on my running as we have to be to succeed and attain those goals.

My biggest regret is that I didn't take the longer term approach to my training. I ran 85-95 per week over this 15 year period, but wish I had slowly worked it up to 120 per week. I really believe I could have ran 2:17 and wish I would have trained smarter for longer.

At the same time, I had a very balanced life that was way busier than most. People did think I was crazy with my goals, but most did respect my work ethic. I know my kids understood what it was about and they respected my goals. I didn't miss any little league games or school concerts. I did get up early and use my time very effectively. Maybe living in the midwest helped with the time balance , but it was not conducive to good races and great weather.

Good luck. It can be done and I do believe a balanced life is more rewarding than being completely focused on one thing. Sometimes those one things can lead to huge failures (injuries) and then you have nothing else.

It's called giving my opinion, just as everyone else is doing. It's not "discouraging" unless you look at it that way. I find my opinion to be more encouraging since it allows the OP to experience what else life has to offer.

You have every right to ignore my opinion. What I find troubling is how everyone argues the unpopular opinion. If you don't like it, then ignore it. "something is rotten" is absolutely ludacris and pointless to post. You don't know me, what I do, etc. Don't draw conclusions. All of my posts have been within like 20 minutes of each other. So I looked on the board one morning and found something that interests me. "something is rotten"... riiiiight sherlock.

Agree to disagree.

I mean what would the point be if the OP comes on here and asks a question and it was only acceptable to state "go for it man!"... I mean how is that even worth the OP's time? You obviously have your opinion, so don't put down others' just because you disagree.

Hey man, I'm in your shoes now. 25, pretty much same athletic resume. Sub-elite, maybe in four years could have gone to Oly. Trials. I was running for a year out of school and decided to hang them up. I ran my last race, and knew then and there I was done with the sport. Haven't run more than 3 miles since. Here's what I've found:

-- I very rarely regret that I stopped running. I have reconnected with a lot of my friends that running made me put aside.

-- My relationships with women have improved a lot.

-- I'm a lot less tense.

-- It took me a full year and a half to really get over running and fully realize it was behind me.

--The one thing I really miss is being competitive at a high level.

-- I have a lot more energy during the day.

-- I dislike my job, but really like who I work with.

-- There is definitely a void where my passion for running was, but I am working on filling that void with starting a business.

-- I realized when I stopped very few people actually care about what you did while you were running.

-- I miss the Sunday long run.

-- I don't feel bad about drinking anymore.

I don't know, those are some random thoughts. Whether or not it's right for you to quit is a personal decision. My advice would be to lace up your spikes for a workout by yourself. After the workout ask yourself if you still really have the buzz.

I understand your opinion.

You have a good point.

I guess I am just leery of your suggestion that if he quits running, he will never look back. Many, many, many people look back with regrets.

Running and being happy & successful in "life" are not mutually exclusive, despite what this message board might lead us to believe. I know that is not what you are saying, but my fear is that he may read that into your words.