Best/Worst Lyrics In Pop/Rock music

In the good column, I'll offer Ben Folds' "There's Always Someone Cooler Than You":

Smile

Like you've got nothing to prove

No matter what you might do

There's always someone out there cooler than you

I know that's hard to believe

But there are people you meet

They're into something that is too big to be

Expressed

Through their clothes

And they'll put up with all the poses you throw

And you won't

Even know

That they're not sizing you up

They know your mom f***ed you up

Or maybe let you watch too much TV

But they'll still look in your eyes

To find the human inside

You know there's always something in there to see

Beneath

The veneer

Not everybody made the list this year

Have a beer

manfred wrote:

Manfred Mann get my vote...

"Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat,

In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat".

Haven't read the entire thread but, if someone already hasn't pointed this out, the above is a Springsteen lyric.

Snowbear wrote:

There have been polls taken to find the all time worst lyrics. "Macarthur Park" is usually close to the top.

Someone left the cake out in the rain

I don't think that I can take it

'Cause it took so long to bake it

And I'll never have that recipe again

Oh, no!

Don't be pickin' on Jimmy Webb now.

Bad lyrics wrote:

Have you come here for forgiveness

Have you come to raise the dead

Have you come here to play Jesus

To the lepers in your head?

U2 "One"

Hello

I've waited here for you

Everlong

Tonight

I throw myself into

And out of the red, out of her head she sang

Come down

And waste away with me

Down with me

Slow how

You wanted it to be

I'm over my head, out of her head she sang

Chorus-

And I wonder

When I sing along with you

If everything could ever feel this real forever

If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you

You've got to promise not to stop when I say when

She sang

Verse 2-

Breathe out

So I could breathe you in

Hold you in

And now

I know you've always been

Out of your head, out of my head I sang

Chorus-

And I wonder

When I sing along with you

If everything could ever feel this real forever

If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you

You've got to promise not to stop when I say when

She sang

Chorus-

And I wonder

If everything could ever feel this real forever

If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you

You've got to promise not to stop when I say when

She sang

Overall I don't think anyone can touch Dylan as a lyricist. His songs paint such a picture yet leave alot to interpretation. Alot has been made of how bad Oasis are and I agree. Blur, in my opinion, are head and shoulders better than Oasis. This song is one of my favorites. Also the title is site appropriate. Called "No distance left to run".

Its over

You dont need to tell me

I hope youre with someone who makes you

Feel safe in your sleeping tonight

I wont kill myself, trying to stay in your life

I got no distance left to run

When you see me

Please turn your back and walk away

I dont want to see you

Cos I know the dreams that you keep is wearing me

When you're coming down, think of me here

I got no distance left to run

Its over, I knew it would end this way

I hope you're with someone who makes you feel

That this life is the night

And it settles down, stays around

Spends more time with you

I got no distance left to run

Our love is nothing but the blues, baby

How blue can you get?

You're evil when I'm with you, baby, and you're jealous when we're apart

How blue can you get, baby, the answer is right here in my heart

I gave you a brand new Ford, but you said, "I want a Cadillac"

I bought you a ten dollar dinner, and you said, "Thanks for the snack"

I let you live in my penthouse, you said, "It's just a shack"

I gave seven children, and now you wanna give them back!

Tell me, baby, how blue can you get?

Beck, for Satan Gave Me a Taco

Satan gave me a taco

And it made me really sick

The chicken was all raw

And the grease was mighty thick

The rice was all rancid

And the beans were so hard

I was getting kinda dizzy

Eatin all the lard

There was aphids on the lettuce

And I ate every one

And after I was done

The salsa melted off my tongue

Pieces of tortilla

Got stuck in my throat

And the stains on my clothes

Burned a hole through my coat

My stomach was atremblin

And I broke out in a rash

I was so dry and thirsty

And I didnt have no cash

So I went and found a hose

Tore off all my clothes

Turned on the water

And it shot right up my nose

Some old lady came along

And she thought I was a freak

So she beat me with her handbag

til I could hardly speak

I was lying there naked

My body badly bruised

In a pool of my own blood

Unconscious and confused

Well the cops came and got me

And threw me in their van

And I woke up on the ceiling

And I couldnt find my hand

They took me to the judge

His eyes aglowin red

The courtroom was filled

With witches and the dead

Well the sheriff was a hell-hound

With fangs and claws

The prisoners were tied up

And chained to the walls

The air was getting thick

The smoke was getting thicker

The judge read the verdict

Said cut off his head!

Well they placed me on the altar

And they raised up the axe

My head was about to explode

When I noticed the marshall stacks

I noticed all the smoke machines

Cameras and the lights

Some guy with a microphone

Runnin around dancin in tights

And I noticed the crew

And the band playin down below

And I realized I was in a rock video

So I went and joined the band

And I went out on tour

And I smoked a lot of heroin

And I passed out in manure

I made out with the groupies (aw yeah)

Started fires backstage (aw yeah, start em up)

Made a lot of money (aw yeah, Im makin it)

And I gave it all away (give it all to me)

Well the band got killed (aw, bunch of losers)

So I started a solo career (aw haw, yeah

And I won all the awards (get em all now)

And I drank all the beer (drink it all up; get funky)

And I opened up the taco stand (aw haw, etc.)

Just to smell the smell

Cookin with the devil

Fryin down in hell

"P.C.P."

Teacher starve your child, P.C. approved

As long as the right words are used

Systemised atrocity ignored

As long as bi-lingual signs on view

Ten foot sign in Oxford Street

Be pure - be vigilant - behave

Grey not neon, grey not real

Life bleeds, death is your birthright

P.C. she speaks impotent, sterile, naive, blind, atheist, sadist,

stiff-upper lip, first principle of her silence, of her silence

PCP - a P.C. police victory

PCP - a P.C. pyrrhic victory

When I was young P.C. meant Police Constable

Nowadays I can't seem to tell the difference

Liposuction for your bad mouth boy

Cut out your tongue, effigies are sold

Words discoloured, bow to the bland

Heal yourself with sinner's salt

Doctors arrested for euthanasia

Kill smokers through blind vanity

If you're fat don't get ill

Europe's gravestone carved in plastic

P.C. she says inoculate, hallucinate, beware Shakespeare,

bring fresh air, king cigarette snuffed out by her midgets, by her midgets

PCP - a P.C. police victory

PCP - a P.C. pyrrhic victory

When I was young P.C. meant Police Constable

Nowadays I can't seem to tell the difference

P.C. caresses bigots and big brother, read Leviticus,

learnt censorship, pro-life equals anti-choice, to be scared of, of feathers

PCP - a P.C. police victory

PCP - a P.C. pyrrhic victory

When I was young P.C. meant Police Constable

Nowadays I can't seem to tell the difference

Lawyers before love, surrogate sex

This land bows down to

Yours, unconditional love and hate

Pass the prozac, designer amnesiac

227 Lears and I can't remember the first line..

jizzmo wrote:

It's "reved up like a duce.. another runner in the night"

not wrapped up like a duche.

Actually if you've ever seen VH1 storyteller's Bruce Springsteen you'll know that he wrote "duce" but ELO when they redid the song it became a hit and they changed it to douche. He claims this is the whole reason it was a hit for them. Pretty amusing.

Storytellers wrote:

jizzmo wrote:

It's "reved up like a duce.. another runner in the night"

not wrapped up like a duche.

Actually if you've ever seen VH1 storyteller's Bruce Springsteen you'll know that he wrote "duce" but ELO when they redid the song it became a hit and they changed it to douche. He claims this is the whole reason it was a hit for them. Pretty amusing.

Manfred Mann's Earth Band not ELO.

The test is time. Grohl will be a long-forgotten footnote in musical history just a few years after he stops performing. People will listen to Dylan's music long after the much younger Grohl's death.

Come you masters of war

You that build all the guns

You that build the death planes

You that build the big bombs

You that hide behind walls

You that hide behind desks

I just want you to know

I can see through your masks

You that never done nothin'

But build to destroy

You play with my world

Like it's your little toy

You put a gun in my hand

And you hide from my eyes

And you turn and run farther

When the fast bullets fly

Like Judas of old

You lie and deceive

A world war can be won

You want me to believe

But I see through your eyes

And I see through your brain

Like I see through the water

That runs down my drain

You fasten the triggers

For the others to fire

Then you set back and watch

When the death count gets higher

You hide in your mansion

As young people's blood

Flows out of their bodies

And is buried in the mud

You've thrown the worst fear

That can ever be hurled

Fear to bring children

Into the world

For threatening my baby

Unborn and unnamed

You ain't worth the blood

That runs in your veins

How much do I know

To talk out of turn

You might say that I'm young

You might say I'm unlearned

But there's one thing I know

Though I'm younger than you

Even Jesus would never

Forgive what you do

Let me ask you one question

Is your money that good

Will it buy you forgiveness

Do you think that it could

I think you will find

When your death takes its toll

All the money you made

Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die

And your death'll come soon

I will follow your casket

In the pale afternoon

And I'll watch while you're lowered

Down to your deathbed

And I'll stand o'er your grave

'Til I'm sure that you're dead

for best lyrics (and best song) I'm going to throw another vote in the direction of 'Fake Plastic Trees' by Radiohead. Also want to nominate 'Pictures of You' by The Cure.

I'm surprised to see three pages go by and no mention of Paul Anka's "Having My Baby" as the worst lyrics of all time. It's cringe-inducingly bad. Lots of lousy songs get remade, but not "Having My Baby". Worst hit song ever.

Having my baby,

What a lovely way of saying how much you love me,

Having my baby,

What a lovely way of saying what you're thinking of me

I can see it, your face is glowing,

I can see it, in your eyes I'm happy you know it

That your ,

Having my baby,

Your the woman I love, & I love what it's doing to you,

Having my baby,

You're a woman in love and I love what's going through you,

The need inside you, I see it showing,

Oh the seed inside you,

Baby do you feel it growing,

Are you happy you know it,

That your having my Baby,

I'm a woman in love, and I love what it's doing to me,

Having My Baby,

I'm a woman in love and I love what's going through me,

Didn't have to keep it, wouldn't put you through it,

You could of swept it from your live,

but you wouldn't do it, no you wouldn't do it.

And your having my baby,

I'm a woman in love, and I love what it's doing to me,

Having My Baby.

I'm a woman in love, and I love what's going through me,

Having My Baby (Having My Baby)

What a lovely way of saying how much you love me,

Having My Baby,

I'm a woman in love and I love what it's going through me,

Having My Baby

Let me preface this by saying I like Bob Dylan a lot. However, some of his lyrics sound like a child rhyming. Example (Woody Allen was correct):

Nobody feels any pain

Tonight as I stand inside the rain

Ev'rybody knows

That Baby's got new clothes

But lately I see her ribbons and her bows

Have fallen from her curls.

She takes just like a woman, yes, she does

She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does

And she aches just like a woman

But she breaks just like a little girl.

Queen Mary, she's my friend

Yes, I believe I'll go see her again

Nobody has to guess

That Baby can't be blessed

Till she sees finally that she's like all the rest

With her fog, her amphetamine and her pearls.

She takes just like a woman, yes, she does

She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does

And she aches just like a woman

But she breaks just like a little girl.

It was raining from the first

And I was dying there of thirst

So I came in here

And your long-time curse hurts

But what's worse

Is this pain in here

I can't stay in here

Ain't it clear that--

I just can't fit

Yes, I believe it's time for us to quit

When we meet again

Introduced as friends

Please don't let on that you knew me when

I was hungry and it was your world.

Ah, you fake just like a woman, yes, you do

You make love just like a woman, yes, you do

Then you ache just like a woman

But you break just like a little girl.

Richard Thompson's "End Of The Rainbow"

I feel for you, you little horror

Safe at your mother's breast

No lucky break for you around the corner

'Cause your father is a bully

And he thinks that you're a pest

And your sister she's no better than a whore.

Life seems so rosy in the cradle,

But I'll be a friend I'll tell you what's in store

There's nothing at the end of the rainbow.

There's nothing to grow up for anymore

Tycoons and barrow boys will rob you

And throw you on the side

And all because they love themselves sincerely

And the man holds a bread knife

Up to you throat is four feet wide

And he's anxious just to show you what it's for.

Your mother works so hard to make you happy

But take a look outside the nursery door

There's nothing at the end of the rainbow.

There's nothing to grow up for anymore

And all the sad and empty faces

That pass you on the street

All running in their sleep, all in a dream

Every loving handshake

Is just another man to beat

How your heart aches just to cut him to the core

Life seems so rosy in the cradle,

But I'll be a friend I'll tell you what's in store

There's nothing at the end of the rainbow.

There's nothing to grow up for anymore

Pretty much anything written by Leonard Cohen or John Prine. Some very good stuff by Kristofferson, as well.

I will review and nominate some favourites from the afore-mentioned writers.

Just for variety, "Vincent" by Don McLean, but only if you are vaguely familiar (as I am) with van Gogh's life and art.

Bob Dylan wins, not even close. "This isn't 1967"? Okay...Dave Grohl still can't hold a candle to Bob Dylan. Will people in 41 years argue that Dave Grohl is the greatest songwriter of all time? Give me a break. Dylan has stood the test of time like no other. Other good ones:

1) Ryan Adams:

"Laura lays on the foot of the bed

Mimics a noose with a telephone cord

Doctor's on the phone

Then she hangs up and says

"I ain't never gonna see the winter again"

And I don't know how, but she smiles

September, September

September, September

They carved your name into the stone and then

they put it in the ground,

I run my fingers through the grooves

When no one's around

Drink till I am sick and

Then I talk to myself in the dog days of the summer

Then I feel you coming but I don't know how

September, September

September, September"

2) Townes Van Zandt:

"Living on the road my friend,

is gonna keep you free and clean

Now you wear your skin like iron,

Your breath as hard as kerosene.

You weren't your mama's only boy,

but her favorite one it seems

She began to cry when you said goodbye,

And sank into your dreams.

Pancho was a bandit boy,

his horse was fast as polished steel

He wore his gun outside his pants

For all the honest world to feel.

Pancho met his match you know

on the deserts down in Mexico

Nobody heard his dying words,

ah but that's the way it goes.

All the Federales say

they could have had him any day

They only let him slip away

out of kindness, I suppose.

Lefty, he can't sing the blues

all night long like he used to.

The dust that Pancho bit down south

ended up in Lefty's mouth

The day they laid poor Pancho low,

Lefty split for Ohio

Where he got the bread to go,

there ain't nobody knows

The poets tell how Pancho fell,

and Lefty's living in cheap hotels

The desert's quiet, Cleveland's cold,

And so the story ends we're told

Pancho needs your prayers it's true,

but save a few for Lefty too

He only did what he had to do,

and now he's growing old"

dumbest ever:

not word perfect...

i'll be taking your girl in da club

so i just say "get over it"

but i be mad as hell

when nigg@$ don't be wearing deodarant

...what the heck?!