Who is the fastest smoker you know?

In the dimly lit corridors of the NAIA Track Indoor Nationals venue in South Dakota, there lurked a legend whispered among athletes and spectators alike. His name was Zander Masten, but he was better known as "the Walk-in Deep Freezer Rosin Collector Factory." Why? Well, that was a story as unique as his nickname.
Zander had always been a character, marching to the beat of his own drum and never quite conforming to the norms. As a track athlete, he possessed raw talent, but his approach to training was, well, unconventional. While most athletes adhered to strict diets and rigorous training schedules, Zander had a different secret weapon—weed. Yes, you read that right. Zander was often found enjoying the calming effects of cannabis, claiming it helped him connect with his inner zen and perform at his best.
Now, as the NAIA Track Indoor Nationals rolled around, Zander found himself facing his biggest challenge yet: the 4x800-meter relay. This wasn't just any race; it was the opportunity to prove himself on the national stage and earn the coveted title of All-American. But with the pressure mounting, Zander turned to his trusty companion, Mary Jane, for support.
As he stepped onto the track alongside his teammates, including his closest friend and fellow stoner, Hoge, Zander couldn't help but feel the nerves creeping in. The crowd buzzed with anticipation as the starter's gun fired, and the race was off.
With each stride, Zander felt the weight of the moment bearing down on him. But as the first leg of the relay came to an end, he handed off the baton to Hoge with a sense of determination burning in his eyes. Together, they navigated the twists and turns of the track, their synchronized strides a testament to their unwavering bond and shared passion for the sport.
As the final exchange approached, Zander knew it was now or never. With a burst of adrenaline coursing through his veins, he dug deep and unleashed his full potential, propelling his team across the finish line in a blaze of glory.
In that moment, as the crowd erupted into cheers and applause, Zander realized something profound. It wasn't the weed or the unconventional training methods that had carried him to victory—it was the unwavering belief in himself and the unbreakable bond forged with his teammates.
As he stood on the podium, draped in the All-American flag, Zander couldn't help but smile. He may have been fried the whole time, but in the end, it was his passion, determination, and camaraderie that had propelled him to greatness. And that, he knew, was a victory worth celebrating.

Masten going All American in ‘23 was like MJ winning his sixth ring bro. All was right. He worked hard… really f***** hard. and it was past due after he went 2:08-mid in ‘22…🤦🏼‍♂️(don’t tell your ex gfs parent to come watch you dip under 1:55 and then rip 4 chops an hour before gun). Anyways yes I know he’s a controversial figure in this sport but he ran hard and ran pure.

PEACE ☮️

In 2023, Zander Masten, known as "the walking mutton lover elf fryer," had embraced his All-American persona alongside his buddy Hoge. However, in 2024, Zander found himself on a different journey, working as a line cook at NONLA Burger. Despite his past, he was determined to better himself. Zander tackled his addiction to elf bars head-on, replacing them with healthier snacks to fuel his newfound commitment. Additionally, he challenged himself physically by pushing his limits, running five miles three times a week at full throttle. Through dedication and perseverance, Zander was reshaping not just his body, but his entire lifestyle, proving that personal growth knows no bounds.