They don't find the time. They make it.
They don't find the time. They make it.
3toedsloth wrote:
big question wrote:
Luckily I'm not interested in any of the above, but I'm genuinely curious as to how this is even possible without sacrificing something big. During your waking hours, you have to work, commute to work, cook or buy food, wash dishes, take a shower, do the laundry, mow the lawn, shop for personal care products, make sure your vehicles are maintained, etc. I don't have much spare time, and the spare time I do have is spent on running, vacations, and various non-running activities like snowboarding or taking a few minutes to look through letsrun.
How do you guys do it, and is it even worth the effort?
Go get your testosterone level checked. After you get it corrected, you’ll feel more like dating.
He's talking about getting and maintaining a committed relationship, not just a random hookup. There is a vast difference in the amount of time demanded between those two options even though both provide sex.
sbeefyk2 wrote:
big question wrote:
Luckily I'm not interested in any of the above, but I'm genuinely curious as to how this is even possible without sacrificing something big. During your waking hours, you have to work, commute to work, cook or buy food, wash dishes, take a shower, do the laundry, mow the lawn, shop for personal care products, make sure your vehicles are maintained, etc. I don't have much spare time, and the spare time I do have is spent on running, vacations, and various non-running activities like snowboarding or taking a few minutes to look through letsrun.
How do you guys do it, and is it even worth the effort?
Easy. Cut down your work hours. Cut down your commute. That can give you an extra 30 hours a week depending on your commute to have a family.
This will mean cutting down or eliminating your disposable income. Cutting down work hours often means a lower salary, and cutting down commute time often means a higher rent or mortgage. Those are the big sacrifices he's talking about.
What good is it to have more time when you can't retire early, can't afford to go on vacation, and are limited to cheap hobbies like playing free video games?
does not make sense wrote:
Sack Rafice wrote:
It's call priorities, time management, and sacrifice. Many of the things you list can be done (and are actually more enjoyable) with kids and wife helping out. My son helps me with the cars and yard work. My daughter's help my wife cook. We all clean the house together. Shopping can be done with the kids and wife, too. But you do have to sacrifice some things. I haven't snowboarded, taken a vacation, or visited letsrun for years.
How did you post on this thread if you haven't visited letsrun for years? Not snowboarding in years isn't a problem if that's not your thing, but not going on any vacations is pretty sad.
As for the other stuff, that only applies during the teen years. Good luck getting 5 year olds to help with the cars or the cooking.
Good luck with getting most teens to help with yard work or house cleaning.
I often look back and wonder how I ever thought I was actually busy before I had kids.
You make time. You figure it out. It’s not the easy path in life but what worthwhile is?
wejo wrote:
big question wrote:
I don't have much spare time, and the spare time I do have is spent on running, vacations, and various non-running activities like snowboarding or taking a few minutes to look through letsrun.
Thank you for your service sir.
LMAO.
rope-a-dope wrote:
does not make sense wrote:
How did you post on this thread if you haven't visited letsrun for years? Not snowboarding in years isn't a problem if that's not your thing, but not going on any vacations is pretty sad.
As for the other stuff, that only applies during the teen years. Good luck getting 5 year olds to help with the cars or the cooking.
Good luck with getting most teens to help with yard work or house cleaning.
Good luck getting teens to do jack shid!
Married with two young children and wouldn’t ever trade it for the occasionally ski trip or late night out .
I get up at 5am and run 1-2 hours. A lot of my runs I need a headlamp for at least part of them but I like seeing the sun rise, so it’s usually enjoyable. The rest of the day is non stop with work/kids until 8 when they go to bed. At 8 I do strength work with light weights and a med ball. I then watch a little tv and am in bed at 10. It’s a simple life with no room to party but I like it because having a family makes me more disciplined and keeps moving.
Agreed. No time and definitely don't need yet another thing to take care of. My parents are trying to pay me a few thousand $ to start going out with someone and I'm like, sorry, have other things to deal with. Best to wait until old and rich.
Heaven forbid you would have to give up big things like shopping for personal care products. You skip the family, and you will be missing out on the biggest of things!
blamb61 wrote:
Heaven forbid you would have to give up big things like shopping for personal care products. You skip the family, and you will be missing out on the biggest of things!
I don't know about you, but I prefer a life with soap, shampoo, toothpaste, and toilet paper.
When I was a teen and young man, 70s -80s, wages were such that you could make a good living and had time to enjoy life.
Reagan came in and the post-war prosperity for the middle class was broken as the rich sucked up all the value of labor/work for themselves due to unmitigated greed and cold hearted dismemberment of the new deal. You can't blame cheap Chinese labor for everything (well, you can't let them off the hook scott free either...)
In other words, I had plenty of time to romance a parade of gorgeous girls, and still build a successful business on the side.
Father of mine wrote:
Married with two young children and wouldn’t ever trade it for the occasionally ski trip or late night out .
I get up at 5am and run 1-2 hours. A lot of my runs I need a headlamp for at least part of them but I like seeing the sun rise, so it’s usually enjoyable. The rest of the day is non stop with work/kids until 8 when they go to bed. At 8 I do strength work with light weights and a med ball. I then watch a little tv and am in bed at 10. It’s a simple life with no room to party but I like it because having a family makes me more disciplined and keeps moving.
Ever see the wife!?
Seriously tho you end up with more hours in the day if you have kids anyway, especially at the weekend, my little angel is always awake pre 6am, often we are out and about by 7am, this would never have happened on a weekend before she came along.
If you have your first kid in your early to mid 30s, which is quite common for city folks, the grandparents will be of retirement age and can help out. If one person's income is high enough, the other spouse can become a stay at home parent or only work part time.
I dont know. I have so big problems right now. I need to work. But my girlfriend have no friends free, so she sitting next to me. And saying that she is very tired and she wants go for a walk. But i need to work. And thats happens every day... I dont know what to do. Help me
Prime95 wrote:
3toedsloth wrote:
Nah, the OP isn’t hooking up with anyone at all. And I disagree that hooking up takes less time than a relationship...I mean, unless you’re tindering like once a month, or something. In which case, go see your doctor. Get your testosterone checked.
Go get your testosterone level checked. After you get it corrected, you’ll feel more like dating.
He's talking about getting and maintaining a committed relationship, not just a random hookup. There is a vast difference in the amount of time demanded between those two options even though both provide sex.
I am 50 with 3 kids and both my wife and I have full time jobs. My wife and are both doctors and we both work 50-60 hours a week. We have been doing this for 15 years and live in NYC (our lives are very expensive). Here is some insight. You definitely need to find the time to find a partner! You should definite have kids. Here is how to think of it and do it. Your life from 30-50 should be thought of like training. If you don't put in the runs (i.e., accept the work, dedication and responsibility of married life with kids), you will suffer when you race (i.e., be miserable during the small big moments of life: weddings, birthdays, nights out, vacations, events for kids that your friend's with kids will invite you to), and your results will be marginal and unsatisfying (running well at marathons, 10ks, whatever you do, are not satisfying if you have NO ONE to share them with as are big bonuses, career successes, new jobs, kid's learning to ride a bike, kids getting good grades, or learning and smiling when they achieve the smallest success). If you don't have a partner and have kids, your friendships will become more and more superficial, your one-night-stands will feel more and more depressing, and your general lack of meaningful achievement will be meaningless. This sounds depressing, but no real success is handed out free. You will need to work and the harder you work, the more meaningful it will become. Being a responsible father in our fifties with responsible, hardworking children who learned how to work hard by watching you work hard is the ONLY way to live a meaningful like. Thinking you are going to run a 2:30 marathon by running once and week and sleeping and hanging out the rest of the time, is a TOTAL fantasy. That is why runners love running. You get out of it what you put in and you are respected by your running peers not because you can run fast, but because you are 100% committed and willing to suffer no matter what. Same thing with life. If you want good meaningful results in life, you are going to have to work REALLY hard and sacrifice. The work is the wife and kids, the reward is seeing your teenage kids thriving and having a wife that says, "I admire how you suffer for our success." Don't drift thru your life avoiding the hard work (wife and kids), you will be sorry. And, don't get divorced! Period! Choose a smart, stable women who can work really hard and not complain. The rewards are abundant in your fifties and sixties. Never complain and don't go to battle (or war) over bullshit. The bullshit will go away just like the misery of the last miles of your Sunday run, or the final 2 miles of a marathon. Just find a smart women and focus on 20 years of HARD life training. Then, and only then, do you get to sit back and enjoy the satisfaction of 20 years of very hard work.
vivalarepublica wrote:
Et tu Brute? wrote:
And you?
About what, bruh?
Are you 1 or 2 or both? Neither?
not a caveman wrote:
blamb61 wrote:
Heaven forbid you would have to give up big things like shopping for personal care products. You skip the family, and you will be missing out on the biggest of things!
I don't know about you, but I prefer a life with soap, shampoo, toothpaste, and toilet paper.
How much of your life is devoted to buying that?
Seems like it can be done at the grocery store unless you are one of those high maintenance metrosexuals.
Dating and getting married is easy. You find someone with similar interests. Your interests might not be exact, but you can run together sometimes, and maybe you'll start doing a little cycling. She'll learn to ski if she doesn't already. If you generally like the same stuff, you'll build up common activities you enjoy doing together, and it's not really particularly time-consuming. Once you fall in love and move in, you have plenty of time to do your hobbies together and apart, and life is good.
When the kids come along, you eliminate all hobbies in the first 6 months of each child's life. After that, while they're young, you have time for one serious hobby, and that's if you don't waste too much time watching TV or spending time on the internet. I'm not sure if you really get your life back at some point because my kids are still little, but I am willing to live with eliminating my secondary hobbies for now.