You both should get your butts back to work. The economy is not going to fuel itself. All this wasted time over an 8:30 down hill mile. What kind of worthless employees have we hired?
You both should get your butts back to work. The economy is not going to fuel itself. All this wasted time over an 8:30 down hill mile. What kind of worthless employees have we hired?
The payoff on this thread is absolute sh*t
Sorry for not updating. It's a story that is hard to believe so bear with me.
The strava record was 8:30. My first thought was to just crush it and put it out of reach but then I thought he'd accuse me of cheating. So I went with just lowering it a few seconds. Anyways it is hard for me to pace an 8:30 and went a bit faster than I wanted running 8:17. I showered and went into work, uploaded my record and didn't think much more if it.
About a half hour later I get a little sharp jab in my back. The dude came into my cubical and was playing the passive aggressive guy. He started out saying he didn't know I was a runner (in a sarcastic way) and then asked all these questions about me. Did you run in college? What's my marathon PR? All innocent stuff. Then out of nowhere he says, "So what the f*ck is your problem?"
I was a bit taken back, I was sitting down but stood up. I said, "what?"
"I said what the f*ck is your problem, f-ing D1 college boy?" "You go around f-big with everyone or just me?"
I told him I was in strava too and just wanted to see if I could break his record. He gave me a little shove and said, "stay the f*ck away from my Sh!t."
As he was walked by out I said something under my breath along the lines of "f-ing a-hole" and he turned around got in my face and said "what the f-did you say."
I told him he better back off. He got closer. Next I said, "back off or next I'm coming for your wife."
Dude went unhinged and started wrestling me right there in the office. I was just trying to get him off me. When people came to break it up he took a cheap shot and hit me in the eye. Now I have a black eye.
Worst of it he's buddy buddy with the boss. He told him I was hitting on his wife was the reason he hit me. I told the real story but he's not buying it as he's never heard of strava. I'm the new guy. I have to take tomorrow unpaid time off and have to meet HR on Monday. I'm either being written up or fired. I have to report to the front desk and security when I arrive.
After I went out and ran 5:12 in his pathetic downhill mile. Screw that guy.
7/10. Pretty hilarious, but only a 5:12? Obvious hobby jogger who's better at writing than running.
I did a training run earlier. Had a black eye. And ran it in trainers. Oh and I'm pretty sure I'm getting fired. So I was a bit off.
It was 5:12. Sub 4:50 in a few days. Haven't run a mile in awhile.
If he's condsiderably slower than you its not really a competition and theres no reason to care about beating him by any amount. If i were you I would have avoided even running his segment, unless of course he's a douche. If thats the case then destroy him by as much as you can and tell him it was a relaxed effort.
wantfasterresults wrote:
. Haven't run a mile in awhile.
Didn't you just do two of them?
wantfasterresults wrote:
Sorry for not updating. It's a story that is hard to believe so bear with me.
The strava record was 8:30. My first thought was to just crush it and put it out of reach but then I thought he'd accuse me of cheating. So I went with just lowering it a few seconds. Anyways it is hard for me to pace an 8:30 and went a bit faster than I wanted running 8:17. I showered and went into work, uploaded my record and didn't think much more if it.
About a half hour later I get a little sharp jab in my back. The dude came into my cubical and was playing the passive aggressive guy. He started out saying he didn't know I was a runner (in a sarcastic way) and then asked all these questions about me. Did you run in college? What's my marathon PR? All innocent stuff. Then out of nowhere he says, "So what the f*ck is your problem?"
I was a bit taken back, I was sitting down but stood up. I said, "what?"
"I said what the f*ck is your problem, f-ing D1 college boy?" "You go around f-big with everyone or just me?"
I told him I was in strava too and just wanted to see if I could break his record. He gave me a little shove and said, "stay the f*ck away from my Sh!t."
As he was walked by out I said something under my breath along the lines of "f-ing a-hole" and he turned around got in my face and said "what the f-did you say."
I told him he better back off. He got closer. Next I said, "back off or next I'm coming for your wife."
Dude went unhinged and started wrestling me right there in the office. I was just trying to get him off me. When people came to break it up he took a cheap shot and hit me in the eye. Now I have a black eye.
Worst of it he's buddy buddy with the boss. He told him I was hitting on his wife was the reason he hit me. I told the real story but he's not buying it as he's never heard of strava. I'm the new guy. I have to take tomorrow unpaid time off and have to meet HR on Monday. I'm either being written up or fired. I have to report to the front desk and security when I arrive.
After I went out and ran 5:12 in his pathetic downhill mile. Screw that guy.
Lol troll. No new guy would go picking records off of people in their office. Also, no 8:30 hobby jogger refers to people as "d1 so and so".
If it is true "back up or next im coming for your wife" might be the worst line ive ever heard and if you dont get fired you should quite out of pure embarrassment.
Dang tough crowd. He called me that because I told Him ran D1 and he rubbed it in my face. Sorry for the bad one liner. It was in the heat of the moment and I just said something to piss him off.
wantfasterresults wrote:
Sorry for not updating. It's a story that is hard to believe so bear with me.
The strava record was 8:30. My first thought was to just crush it and put it out of reach but then I thought he'd accuse me of cheating. So I went with just lowering it a few seconds. Anyways it is hard for me to pace an 8:30 and went a bit faster than I wanted running 8:17. I showered and went into work, uploaded my record and didn't think much more if it.
About a half hour later I get a little sharp jab in my back. The dude came into my cubical and was playing the passive aggressive guy. He started out saying he didn't know I was a runner (in a sarcastic way) and then asked all these questions about me. Did you run in college? What's my marathon PR? All innocent stuff. Then out of nowhere he says, "So what the f*ck is your problem?"
I was a bit taken back, I was sitting down but stood up. I said, "what?"
"I said what the f*ck is your problem, f-ing D1 college boy?" "You go around f-big with everyone or just me?"
I told him I was in strava too and just wanted to see if I could break his record. He gave me a little shove and said, "stay the f*ck away from my Sh!t."
As he was walked by out I said something under my breath along the lines of "f-ing a-hole" and he turned around got in my face and said "what the f-did you say."
I told him he better back off. He got closer. Next I said, "back off or next I'm coming for your wife."
Dude went unhinged and started wrestling me right there in the office. I was just trying to get him off me. When people came to break it up he took a cheap shot and hit me in the eye. Now I have a black eye.
Worst of it he's buddy buddy with the boss. He told him I was hitting on his wife was the reason he hit me. I told the real story but he's not buying it as he's never heard of strava. I'm the new guy. I have to take tomorrow unpaid time off and have to meet HR on Monday. I'm either being written up or fired. I have to report to the front desk and security when I arrive.
After I went out and ran 5:12 in his pathetic downhill mile. Screw that guy.
I wish this were true because it would have been good payoff! It's all about the payoff!
Are you in NorCal? I want a swing at this guy's record. The thought of him being happy makes me miserable.
Probably not wise to bring up his wife unless she's super hot, then it's okay.
If you're young and the job is not that great and is easily replaceable with another then I would devise an epic departure if they fire you.
If job is needed then I would apologize and say all the right things to keep it. Then wait 3 to 6 months then start a deliberate plan to get under this fellows skin. Start hanging running medals in your cubicle, messing with his monitor, and little almost undetectable but annoying things and building upon those to make his work life miserable. If your job I miserable like most this will give you purpose to come to work everyday. Never underestimate the power of revenge. I don't condone such behavior but sometimes you have to fight evil with underhanded humor and cunning to defeat your adversaries.
MAGA
We are going to need to see some strava to back up this story
8/10
Definitely well thought out. But i can't understand how this guys physically assaults you yet you get unpaid leave and HR meetings. Also, I've never gotten that fired up about Strava ever. So maybe I'm missing out on the whole segment/CR scene with that.
If this is true i would seek and destroy all his segments.
Do you know what the CR for banging his wife? Can't be that slow.
Jimmy21 wrote:
We are going to need to see some strava to back up this story
I got trolled for not registering that username originally. Oh well.
My coworker told me he created that segment, which is why i knew about it. But I didn't realize that Strava will automatically pull anyone else's time that has ran that route previously, so from the start he was no where near the top. I went out to try to get it anyways, someone else had a pretty decent time on there of 5:09 I think.
https://www.strava.com/segments/15551882?filter=overallHe's still confident he can beat that time though, which I could see happening as he was a pretty good rower. I bet him all of his beer at happy hour if he can break it.
No 5:12 and no 8:30 in that route. Nice try.
Hard truth wrote:
Do you know what the CR for banging his wife? Can't be that slow.
A solid 20:05 is the KOM, says the office rumor. And it's definitely KOM(s) if you've seen her knockers.
compelling stuff here wrote:
Then, when you get him down to around 7:30 or so, you run a sub 5:00 and never talk about it. If he asks just say you were feeling good because you drank a mountain dew
Mtn Dew is THE SECRET according to a couple good masters runners I know.
I can't quite figure out the 5:12.
I mean, that's a solid troll unprepared mile time... you don't want to say 4:12 and trigger the BS detectors, 6:12 would get one-eyebrow raised like "you ran d1? in what event?", and anything over 7 is just confusing... so that's a well chosen time. But you're going to go all out with a story that includes a flying fist at the office and a cheesy one-liner about coming at the dude's wife? That just doesn't jive with the carefully chosen 5:12.... can't figure that out.
9/10 until the update, then 3/10 for lack of consistency.
I look forward to your future improved work.
It was 5:12 because that's what I ran. Don't know the Strava link, I don't live in NY.
yepppppppp wrote:
I can't quite figure out the 5:12.
I mean, that's a solid troll unprepared mile time... you don't want to say 4:12 and trigger the BS detectors, 6:12 would get one-eyebrow raised like "you ran d1? in what event?", and anything over 7 is just confusing... so that's a well chosen time. But you're going to go all out with a story that includes a flying fist at the office and a cheesy one-liner about coming at the dude's wife? That just doesn't jive with the carefully chosen 5:12.... can't figure that out.
9/10 until the update, then 3/10 for lack of consistency.
I look forward to your future improved work.