My PhD student friend is 32 and waiting tables to pay rent. What a dummy.

WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot wrote:

What field was your PHD? Most - no, make that ALL - of the PHD candidates I've known worked at the University albeit for paltry wages but certainly not waiting tables. They didn't have the time to waste waiting tables. Of course, they were/are all studying physics or engineering or biology. Probably a wise investment.

There is no evidence to suggest that the individual in question isn't working for the university. OP says that she is serving tables "on the side," which suggests to me that it is a secondary source of income.

As far as whether people have time to "waste" waiting tables, that really varies from person to person based on individual organization and energy. Some people can hold side jobs while working 60-80 hours per week as medical residents. Some people can't handle working while they're in undergrad completing an easy major.

It's certainly not impossible for a person to be spending long hours on their academic program while grabbing a shift or two per week at a restaurant. It's just a matter of priorities. You or I would likely spend at least 4 hours per week running during a PhD program. Someone who doesn't run could put the exact same amount of time into waiting tables, and put a few hundred bucks in their pocket depending upon the restaurant.

you make 7 figures a year and are posting on LRC

you kinda overshot the lie there

side jobs are fun wrote:

Waiting tables "on the side" implies that she has other more substantial employment. What is wrong with having a side job to support a better lifestyle than you'd otherwise be able to afford? I have regularly held various types of weekend/evening gigs throughout my professional career. Sometimes it's nice to earn a few extra bucks doing something low pressure.

She is probably getting a stipend. Depending on the school, it could be close to $30k/year. Supplementing that with some waitressing money isn't horrible. I wouldn't want to live that way, but I doubt she is really struggling.

Jimmy21 wrote:

If she ends up making 200k+,

LOL

Never gonna happen, let's be honest

Ain't All About $$ wrote:

People who measure success solely by power, financial worth and social status are incredibly superficial.

What IS she successful at? Taking care of her dog?

Complete waste of time and money, plain and simple, and I bet she's cried herself to sleep over it.

It really depends on what the Ph.D. is for. But if she's relatively content, I don't see what's the issue. If she isn't, well, that's life for a lot of people, isn't it? And it doesn't help that you're all judgy. Some "friend" you are.

ddfun wrote:

Is she hot?

Probably got baby fever, too.

Ann Landers wrote:

It really depends on what the Ph.D. is for. But if she's relatively content, I don't see what's the issue. If she isn't, well, that's life for a lot of people, isn't it? And it doesn't help that you're all judgy. Some "friend" you are.

It doesn't depend on the Ph.D. No one gets an advanced degree hoping to wait tables. If you want to help her improve her life, you have to acknowledge that it's currently a total disaster.

Maggie Thatcher wrote:

ddfun wrote:

Is she hot?

Probably got baby fever, too.

OK, if she works at Hooters, all is forgiven.

Red Pill Giver wrote:

It doesn't depend on the Ph.D. No one gets an advanced degree hoping to wait tables. If you want to help her improve her life, you have to acknowledge that it's currently a total disaster.

This could potentially be a valid point if she's still waiting tables after she gets her PhD, but she does not have a PhD at this point, so "she didn't get a PhD with this goal in mind" is not currently a valid argument.

dass wrote:

i have a phd. didn't make a dime until i was 29. Now, I make well into 7 figures a year.

So what do you do that pays well into 7 figures a year?

It depends on what her phd is in and how much it is costing her. If it is in art history, psychology, social work or administration, than it probably is not worth it. If it is in something technical or medical related, than it probably is worth it. I had an ex that sounds like your friend. She was a financial train wreck [$200k+ in student loans, defaulted on a home loan, finally got her doctorate (in a field that doesn't really require a doctorate and only pays about $80k a year) at 35]. Now she is 40, probably still has a negative net worth (and based upon her xmas cards she still tends to burn through money travelling). Her only salvation is she has no kids and is still single. Best relationship I ever ended. I'll stick with the undergrad degree in engineering I got at 22 that pays better and has me worth well north of a million dollars at 40.

I got my Ph.D. in science, but had worked for several years as a tech/research associate after finishing my masters. So I didn't start until 32. Did get a stipend for three years, and TA for a year, but had to bite the bullet for about a year to do the writing and defense.

Doing the research was great, but the academic part and teaching were not my thing (jumping through hoops). Financially it was really rough for a number of years but I'm gainfully employed (not near $200K though). I'll just end up working for a few extra years to make up for that time. But these days who wants to retire at 60?

Just another reminder to all of you proles to not dream big, because you will end up destitute and unhappy. Rich people are the only ones who should be pursuing high-level dreams like starting a business, dedicating your life to a creative endeavor or getting a feel-good PhD. Now get back to work, peasants.

premature wrote:

Red Pill Giver wrote:

It doesn't depend on the Ph.D. No one gets an advanced degree hoping to wait tables. If you want to help her improve her life, you have to acknowledge that it's currently a total disaster.

This could potentially be a valid point if she's still waiting tables after she gets her PhD, but she does not have a PhD at this point, so "she didn't get a PhD with this goal in mind" is not currently a valid argument.

She has had a masters for many years. She probably went back for the Ph.D. because she couldn't do better than waiting tables, thinking the education, not her, was the problem. That is why we are trying to help her realize her failures so she doesn't keep repeating them.

joedirt wrote: Her only salvation is she has no kids and is still single.

That's not a salvation, that's incredibly sad. She'll have no one to take care of her and it's probably too late to find someone.

It has nothing to do with "ego." Different people have different priorities.

A publicly traded company should consider "opportunity cost" when trying to return value to shareholders. But a person is not a business. Maximizing one's financial worth is not the standard that every individual person uses to evaluate success in life.

Another way to look at it is that she achieved an impressive goal (a Ph.D in any field is a big accomplishment no matter how you slice it), is supporting herself just fine, and has extra money to do fun stuff like travel. You can't your million dollars with you when you die.

*can't take