How to Talk to Daughter's High School Track Coach

our son who doesn't want to speak to us anymore about his team.

At least one good thing came out of it. Your son realizes that his parents are way too involved.

Coach is right. Only way to run in HS is to "TrainHardRunFast". Anything else is wrong.

Coach G wrote:

I will go one step further on this advice. Most high schoolers run far too many races of which most of these races mean nothing. I question why she is even running multiple events on consecutive days.

Look into how many league races each athlete must run just to qualify for the zones/regionals whatever and have the athletes run the bare minimum. Also your better athletes should tank most of these races or use them to try different strategies and scenarios (running from the back, surges, getting boxed in, etc)

Then as the season nears a close and the races count your team will be fresher and perform better. It also throws the other racers off when suddenly these guys/girls who finished at the back of the pack are now challenging for the lead.

My 2 cents.......

Part of the point of being on a team in high school is the team camaraderie of running together in competitions. It doesn't matter that the competition means nothing to you, their coach. When you get down to it, none of the competitions really mean anything, unless their name is Sydney and they're in the Olympics. Everything else is meaningless.

But the reality is that 99% of the kids don't run past high school. So these competitions are meaningful. These dual meets and weekend invites are a chance for them to see that hard work and training does result in improvements. They get to try to score a few points for their team and do their part to feel like they are part of something bigger.

If I agreed with your thoughts on the importance of meets, I would be an advocate for removing sports from school and letting any kids who want to run join a club.

Also Anon wrote:

Point the coach to this thread, and how every serious responder will agree the training is absolutely idiotic. ...

Do your best to frame this as general curiosity, rather than skepticism, but expect to be brushed off as a helicopter parent.

Don't do what this guy says. Be very direct. This coach doesn't know what he or she is doing, and probably already knows it. Don't be a jerk about it, but don't sugar coat it either.

Some of the high school coaches I know don't want to be there. the AD just forced some poor teacher to take the job. Maybe even volunteer for the team or take over the distance coach responsibility and bond with your daughter.

8/10 trolling

Pretty good "HS coach sucks" trolling thread. Got a lot of replies, and no one called you on it.

I would have given you 10/10, but the best part of "HS coaches suck" trolling is when other coaches come and passionately defend their beleaguered brethren. Detractors seemed pretty chill here; you didn't really get any of them overly worked up.

You need to first talk to your daughter. Find out what she thinks about the training, the coach, why she is participating in track, her shin splints, what she would like to do.

Do not influence her answers by asking leading questions in the beginning (as an example, do not ask "Do you think the coach is asking for you to train too hard/fast the day before a meet?")

Do not risk messing up your daughters situation by going straight to the coach without discussing it with her first.

Parent wrote:

Does your daughter have three meets this week? Is the strategy to race their way to fitness?

Tuesday 1600m

Wednesday 800m and 400m relay leg

Saturday 1600m, 800m and relay leg

Tread very carefully. If this has been going on for awhile others know about it. We had a similar but different situation with a high school coach (35 mile weeks beginning day 1 with over 75% of kids injured in the first three weeks). Trying to talk to the coach was a disaster. I called and spoke to him during the day. The coach bragged about his own running exploits, blamed the kids for being out of shape and not telling him about their injuries. At practice that night he singled out our son who doesn't want to speak to us anymore about his team. A friend at the school told us multiple parents call every year.

Why on earth would kids be getting injured from 35 mile weeks?!?! Is this a troll? 1 mile warm-up. Stretch with team. 3 mile run. 1 mile cooldown. Repeat everyday for a few weeks. Sounds like nice, easy base building for the slackers who do no off-season work. This would not injure anyone.

Are people really so clueless that they think 35 mpw is excessive?!?! I can't stop laughing at this.

I'm assuming this is a public school? My advice: stay out of it. In the big picture, it doesn't really matter how fast your daughter does or doesn't get. The point of running in high school is to develop psychological, emotional, and interpersonal skill sets that are hard to practice in other aspects of life. There's a 99.99% chance she is going to be making a living off of her brain and not her legs, but if you interfere with an area of her life that is, at this point, HER business, you will turn her off to the sport. Adolescents need to have their parents start backing off once they reach about 15, and when parents, even if well-intentioned, get *involved* in their extracurriculars, to the degree that they try and manipulate the outcomes, kids resent it, and wind up resenting the activity. So maybe she has to deal with an uniformed coach. So maybe her shins hurt. So what. It's high school sports. Let her have fun, enjoy her teammates, traveling to meets. Let her make her own decisions about what to do. She'll gain maturity and autonomy as a result. If you step in, you only retard her growth in these areas.

Coach G,

A cross country season of 3 races is not fun. Nor is it in track.

Kids enjoy racing. That is what the sport is about.

I do agree with you that between weekly league meets and invitationals it leaves no time to train. One meet a week I think is plenty. But kids like racing and they should often.

OP, if your daughter runs 100mpw, she will be able to handle the workout load. Have her increase her mileage by 20mpw every week and soon her trouples will be over!

Get a feel for how this coach will respond to you and the student-athletes. Some coaches are clearly aware, caring, and tuned in to their athletes and the athletes' performances. These are the men and women we dream about - they can push them because they so obviously care about them as people and know how to help the athletes know their limits. They are humble and open.

Another group are those with no clue about track and field (small minority, I'd guess). They run them into the ground or do step aerobics for main workouts.

A third group are those so focused on a training program that the student-athletes are a much lower priority than the "system" that they recently picked up or learned 25 years ago. The workouts are king, and must be followed to the letter - connections to teammates, injuries, frustrations, and feedback don't really matter.

Sounds like the third group for this coach. Try with an open approach and pray it will work. If not, your kid will toughen up, but track may really suck.

Sometimes you have to look at the big picture and enjoy life no matter the situation.