cbenson4 wrote:i do not believe that simply finding someone else attractive is infidelity, but rather i believe that, even if only fleeting, sexual desire for another is infidelity.
For those who claim to be Christian, note that Jesus apparently agrees with cbenson4:
"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[e] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
---Matthew 5:27
Fat hurts wrote:
cbenson4 wrote:i do not believe that simply finding someone else attractive is infidelity, but rather i believe that, even if only fleeting, sexual desire for another is infidelity.For those who claim to be Christian, note that Jesus apparently agrees with cbenson4:
"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[e] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
---Matthew 5:27
That's cute but I think we're all talking about cheating on a spouse physically, not having an urge for someone else. Every human being is sexually attracted to more than one person.
That is such a good reply!!!! I'm actually going to copy it in my notebook to look back on. I am a part of the top section of people and it feels challenging to meet someone else like this but I believe that true love and commitment is rare and patience is important so that I don't ever settle for less than what I know I want and deserve : )
AmyKatrina wrote:
That is such a good reply!!!! I'm actually going to copy it in my notebook to look back on. I am a part of the top section of people and it feels challenging to meet someone else like this but I believe that true love and commitment is rare and patience is important so that I don't ever settle for less than what I know I want and deserve : )
I concur...:)
AmyKatrina wrote:I believe that true love
A long term relationship is basically replicate large parts of the environment in which you were raised with your spouse. The nut does not fall far from the tree.
For most of us, the outlook is not good. That's just one reason why the divorce rate is 50%. Sorry.
All is not lost, however. If you work on making your life happy and meaningful FOR YOU, there seems to be a corollary improvement in your long term relationships.
pop_pop!_v2.2.1 wrote:
AmyKatrina wrote:I believe that true loveA long term relationship is basically replicate large parts of the environment in which you were raised with your spouse. The nut does not fall far from the tree.
For most of us, the outlook is not good. That's just one reason why the divorce rate is 50%. Sorry.
All is not lost, however. If you work on making your life happy and meaningful FOR YOU, there seems to be a corollary improvement in your long term relationships.
I have to agree on this. You need to be happy w/yourself first before you can give to a relationship.
that's just insane wrote:
cbenson4 wrote:lust is not merely finding someone attractive, but actually having sexual desire, even if only for a fleeting moment, and even if weak enough to resist.
i do not believe that simply finding someone else attractive is infidelity, but rather i believe that, even if only fleeting, sexual desire for another is infidelity.
Guess what, attraction is sexual attraction. The reason a guy finds a woman attractive is because of a desire for sex. You don't find a woman attractive because you'd really like to play a board game with her. And, sexual desire is healthy and normal. It is not a bad or evil thing. This unhealthy view that sex is wrong or dirty is what is messing people up.
Infidelity is only actually acting on desires, not thinking about them. If you think about killing someone should you go to jail for the rest of your life for murder? Do you cheat on a diet if you crave chocolate but don't eat it? Don't be ridiculous.
You are setting a standard for failure.
It's about how you value yourself compared to others. It's not that you have to shame yourself for being attracted to other people. But it is important to recognize your potential for infidelity. Even if you have not cheated, you are qualitatively no better than a person who has cheated. "There but for the grace of God go I." This is a good attitude to have. It can keep you humble and also can help prevent you from cheating.
If you have never cheated on your spouse, but you spend all day fantasizing about the 25 year old in your office, would this make your spouse happy? The attitude that you can think about lust all you want, but you are fine as long as you never act on it, will most likely lead to you cheating. As with many things in life, the "analogy of the 2 wolves" applies. You have one wolf that lusts, and another wolf that wants to stay faithful. These wolves are inside you, and are constantly fighting. The wolf that wins is the one you feed.