I care too but I hope that you go out too fast and seize up at 1200 falling and causing a massive pileup of runners. Preferably on a cinder track and hundreds on rock shards will gouge and embed themselves into the runners. Whoever rises from that and hobbles home will be a champion. I hope that is you. And then you quit running and go out a champ. If not I fear that bitter tasting feeling of 'what if' will linger in your mouth for years and you will try cross country, then indoor, then outdoor and changing distances back and forth then shifting to marathons and road races all in a pursuit of trying to capture a sense of glory that just always eludes you. But as a true 'runner' you are convinced that satisfaction is always just around the corner or higher mileage, a different coach, distance, etc., and better advice from forum strangers. Eventually you will seek financial advice and dating advice from others like you and learn how to be a real man.
Live the dream. It's really quite a wasted nightmare. But it is yours and I do not want to take it from you. Everyone needs a dream. And if it doesn't work out you can change to triathlon and keep it going awhile longer.