What's the best roadside trash you've ever seen on the run?

that was thrown out the window by a male homosexual for you running in with your shirt off and bandanna-ed head. Who knows what'd you get if you ran in a tarzan outfit taking small bites out of a banana? Who knows? Who knows? And I speak of the pomp....

A severed ear

A severed toe, from the nihilist chick I used to know.

Massive amounts of brand new condoms...

And another time...a back full of porn novels.

And another time, wads of 20 dollar bills.

Roadkill and spooky sex crap is the obvious. The not so obvious are the things like dirty diapers and rusty spatulas.

Seriously, why do so many rubberized and gorged veined phalluses end up being chucked? Can't they be washed and re-used or sold on craigslist or something? There has to be a market for used sex toys if there's a market for pretty much everything.

A 100 euro note (about $127 at the time) crumpled up on the sidewalk in Malcesine, Italy.

I ran past Linsey Lohan once.

Do I win?

Maybe if it had been "Lindsay", you dunce. Found a brown bag with a pistol and $3000 in it while on our Sunday run in college. Unfortunately, coach was with us following in his truck, and turned it in to the police.

Fingertip pushups wrote:

Maybe if it had been "Lindsay", you dunce. Found a brown bag with a pistol and $3000 in it while on our Sunday run in college. Unfortunately, coach was with us following in his truck, and turned it in to the police.

so how did that work? do you stop to open every bag you see on a long run?

what's with all of the porn and sex toys on the side of the road?

My sister (also a runner) and I used to play a road trash game. At the end of each day, we had to present the "best" piece of road trash we encountered. A third party judged who was the winner each day, and we kept score over time. Pretty fun game. It was hilarious because we had to literally run home carrying whatever item we found. Here were some of the winning items:

1) A dead squirrels arm (severed)

2) A wallet from ~1992 with expired drivers license, insurance cards, etc. (it was 2011 at the time)

3) A tattered life jacket (which I wore home, while running)

4) A shopping cart (ran home pushing it)

Often we just had some stupid piece of crap like a lotto ticket or whatever. But then, you lost.

Trucker Bombs...if anyone knows what they are. Used to see them a lot when I lived out in the middle of nowhere.

Q: What's the best roadside trash you've ever seen on the run?

A: Your Mother!

Found a digital camera in the street while on a run. It worked fine and didn't even look scuffed up. There were over 500 picutres on there, but nothing interesting. I think it belonged to a lady that worked in fashion or something because over half the pictures were of handbags. Other pictures included a vacation to China and what appeared to be a wedding reception. Very few were of people.

I think I spent 50 bucks on a charger and device that let me get pictures onto my computer, because apparently cameras found in the street don't come with that stuff. In the end it wasn't worth it, I hardly ever use the thing.

Does a drug dealer with an execution-style gunshot wound to the head count as trash?

http://www6.montgomerycountymd.gov/Apps/Police/News/NA_details.asp?NaID=4114

http://upcounty.wordpress.com/2008/06/20/body-found-on-trail/

I ran by a really hott prostitute once.

Someone threw away a perfectly good white boy.

The porn mag is always something a 30-plus year old runner remembers finding on the side of the road/in the woods. I guess the days of porn mags are pretty much over. I never see them on the road any more.

Two rather interesting things:

Once I found a paper bag full of what I thought were $100 bills. Made of the same material and looked exactly like a $100 bill until you unfolded it and saw that the center of the bill had a bible verse on it. Some sort of Christian marketing tool, I guess. The point was to drop one in a busy location and when someone stops to pick it up, they read the bible verse (and get really pissed off). Not sure why someone would crumple up a bunch of them and stuff it in a paper bag, but I guess they got me.

The other was a roll of film that I found with my father on a run when I was a freshman in High School. It was in the black/grey film roll container on a picnic table at a local park where we were doing intervals. It was a Saturday morning, no one was there and it was raining. We took the film to the local drugstore and told the person what happened. My dad thought it might be someone's family picnic shots or something. We left and went back later in the day to see if we could identify the person and the guy behind the counter handed it over and told my father not to let me see it. I was pissed but my dad wouldn't let me see it. When he got home, he and my mom looked at them for like 1 second and then he tossed them and took out the garbage. Told me if he caught me looking at them I would be grounded.

This was late summer and a few days later I was spending the night with a friend and we sneaked out of his house at night and went through my garbage can to retrieve the pictures. They were disgusting homemade porn with closeups, some guy peeing on his girl's privates, feces stuff, etc. Really raunchy, 2 girls, 1 cup type pics. Now I realize that they left it out for the thrill of knowing someone might find it and develop it. Weird thing is that you could see their faces, etc. This was prior to digital cameras.

I still have never told my father that I looked at those. Too gross and weird.